Leo's Blog: Infinite Insights — Page 3

I used to work much harder and longer because I believed that I had to create things in order to feel meaningful. After Awakening that illusion has been dispelled to the point where it is hard to work as hard as I used to, because I’m conscious that it doesn’t ultimately matter. No amount or quality of work will ever fulfill or complete me. That is an illusion I used to live under.

Working hard is a kind of illusion, self-deception. Why are you working so hard? What do you think it’s going to do for you? You think work is going to make you happy? No. No amount nor quality of work you do will ever make you happy. No work will ever be enough. You can work yourself for 60 years, you can produce masterpieces that wow the world and make you world-famous, but at the end of the day, when you are alone at home in a room by yourself, not working, you will feel incomplete and unhappy.

Creative work is a kind of delusion and addiction. In fact, that work is just an excuse to not sit down and learn to be happy with nothing. Needing to work to be happy is not happiness, it is just a distraction from the painful work of sitting and learning to be happy doing nothing. How many millions of artists and creatives live under the delusion that their art, their workaholism, is making them happy? No! It’s not. It’s a distraction from the real spiritual work. If you can’t be happy doing nothing, you are incapable of happiness.

Do not mistake work or busyness for happiness. True happiness is not something you earn by working real hard. True happiness is free. It requires nothing at all. A child does not need to produce a brilliant work of art to be happy. A child is happy for no reason at all. This also explains why most artists are so tortured, depressed, and unhappy. You cannot earn happiness by working harder, because happiness is free. Happiness is so free that most people feel it is unfair or wrong to just be happy for no reason at all. Most people have been conditioned to only allow themselves to feel happy once they do something extraordinary to earn it. This is simply a self-imposed limit. Happiness is a very counter-intuitive thing. The more you try to earn it, the less happy you'll be.

Are you able to be happy without working? That is the true test of happiness. You can see that most fail the test. The more productive, successful, and famous they are, the worse they fail the test. Which is why the most successful people are never truly happy. You cannot buy happiness with success! Happiness is way too profound for such human games. Most successful people are just using work to hide from themselves their fundamental unhappiness. But they deceive themselves with rationalizations of how working makes them happy. No. Working hard leaves no time to sit alone with nothingness and face your inner demons. If a workaholic was forced to sit still, his inner demons would eat him alive. Which is why they are proud of their workaholism. That pride is the self-deception.

Chill out. Why are you working so hard? What are you trying to earn? Who are you trying to please?

Writing an epic book, making a blockbuster film, building a trillion dollar business, making it big, becoming world-famous, dominating Wall Street, conquering Europe, sleeping with a thousand women, changing the whole world, colonizing Mars, etc. Fundamentally, none of this will make you happy. Watch out for that illusion. Those are exciting distractions from true happiness.

Happiness takes work, but not that kind of work. Mindfulness work.

Note: Most people work hard because they have no other choice. Survival. I was not speaking about those people. I was speaking about the workaholics who are successful enough they don't need to work anymore, but they can't stop because they've turned work into an avoidance mechanism.

The reason I never cared much about rigor is because I know the mind will just use rigor to rationalize its preexisting worldview. What good is rigor if all the most rigorous people on the planet are deluded? Where is the proof that being rigorous ends in Truth? The proof is lacking. That’s just not how the mind works. If you think you will solve the mind by being academically rigorous, you are kidding yourself. If only it were that easy. The mind will run circles around you using your rigor. My mind is sloppy for good reason, because that makes me more intelligent. If I was as rigorous as an academic, I would be as stupid as an academic. I consciously reject all the standards of science and academia. All the standards made you stupid. I carefully observed what the bulk of you did and did precisely the opposite. Don’t preach to me about rigor. If you are not conscious that death is Imaginary, all your rigor is nonsense. I don’t care about rigor. I care about pure understanding. The greatest danger is not technical slop. The greatest danger is technical minutia distracting you from the big picture. To me what matters is that I got the big picture right. Everything else is hair on the elephant’s infinite ass.

While others are arguing over peanuts, you will realize GOD.

We are not here to win battles, we are here to win the war.

Keep your eye on the ball.

People who love to argue about Reality do not understand that argument is not just a game. When you lose an argument, your ego gets hurt. But what’s not understood is that if you lose the argument entirely, the ego will die. If you lose the argument on Reality you will die and realize you are God. That’s what every argument is truly about, but nobody has gone deep enough to understand. When you argue, your life is at stake whether you realize it or not. Which is why arguments get so heated and stubborn. Why is the arguer so stubborn? Because there is an ego to lose. The arguments I make end in your annihilation. That’s why no argument is truly ever fair, objective, or factual. People who think arguments are factual, are fools. Arguments are about ego. That’s why I don’t like to argue. You will never convince the ego to surrender and die. Life and death isn't logical. Anyone treating them logically is making a big mistake.

Science thinks it's just arguing about truth and facts. No, science is arguing against death. Everyone on Earth is arguing against the realization that death is imaginary.

You are imagining death. All argument is really about avoiding death.

When you Awaken, you will understand what all argument is really about. The purpose of argument is to avoid Truth. That's why the facts don't ultimately matter.

Defending a PhD thesis is NOT about truth! It's about survival. The pretense that it is about truth, is a problem.