Leo's Blog: Infinite Insights — Page 11
When I was 20 years old I got the brilliant idea to write the truest philosophy book ever written. It was going to be 500 blank pages and its title was going to be Ad Infinitum. I was serious. I wanted to write an infinite book of nothing. But then I realized that no one would buy my revolutionary book. It was then that I realized just how biased humans are against truth. Just cause they won’t buy it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
How come my book was 500 blank pages? Because I figured out that the foundation of all human knowledge was groundless. Nothing was actually knowable for certain. I realized that Reality is so unknowable that it would be false for me to even write a book arguing that Reality was unknowable, since that is unknowable. I was in such a deep epistemic skepticism that the truest thing I could write was nothing. But this wasn’t a lazy nothing. This was an actual, proactive nothing. I needed to write a book of nothing, a book of negation. Because that was the truth. This was long before I knew anything about Buddhism, enlightenment, Nothing, God, Infinity, or spirituality. This was the best philosophy I could do on my own, independent of human knowledge. I took university philosophy classes to figure out how to write a book of negation against all human philosophy.
At 20 years old I clearly figured out that everything humans know is slop. This is why I quit academia. No one in academia would accept my book even though it was the deepest truth. I was so serious about truth that I took no human idea about reality seriously. My mind was so pure, so unbiased, so uncorrupted by human knowing that no academic, no scientist could fathom it. Little did I know then where that would ultimately lead me. I could have never imagined it ends in Infinity.
Even today I think back on those days and marvel at how pure my mind was, how pure my thinking. Such wisdom that I need to reflect on it today just to set myself epistemically back on track.
This was the intellectual foundation on which Actualized.org was built. Laid 20 years ago. This is why Actualized.org is what it is.
The reason I discovered Peter Ralston's Book of Not Knowing is because I achieved profound not-knowing on my own, so when I saw it, I immediately knew from the title alone that this was the highest quality intellectual work in existence. Like recognizes like. The highest intelligence is Not-Knowing. Humans are too stupid to comprehend this. Recently I have achieved such profound levels of Not-Knowing Awakening that it transcends sanity. My Not-Knowing of God is astonishing. I don't know God so profoundly that I achieve insane new levels of Awakening that can only come from Not-Knowing. God is utterly Unknowable. Nobody has a clue how Unknowable. Brain-melting Unknowability. It's a race to see who can know less.
Sharing some of my fave survival videos. I love watching survival videos. One man alone in nature. So pure.
All of science has a constructionist bias. This means that science flavors construction over deconstruction. No one is going to pay a scientist grant money for deconstructing reality. Why? Because grants want return on investment. There is no return on investment for deconstructing reality, for telling the investor that he is an illusion and a devil. But all of science runs on grant money. Grants expect you to make useful constructions. This is a gigantic bias because truth is not a construction. But scientists don't care because they need to fulfill grants just to survive. You can't have an illustrious career deconstructing reality. No one will give you a Nobel prize for deconstructing reality. Good luck convincing the Nobel prize committee that they are fools hallucinating reality.
If truth can only be found through deconstruction, science will never find it because that’s not what the system is set up for. And they don't question the system because their life depends on it, they are too invested. This is what I mean when I say science’s master is survival, not truth. Notice that true intellectual rigor requires not being biased towards construction or deconstruction. So science is both biased and unrigorous. This demonstrates that science is not objective. Which, of course, it isn’t. Chasing utility and value is NOT objective!
I realized this when I was 20 years old, which is why I quit academia. I realized that reality must be deconstructed and academia would never accept my deconstruction of it. So I pursued truth on my own. What I want from science is true objectivity, but they will never give it to me because it would kill them. But the sad thing is that they are clueless of this whole dynamic. They actually think this doesn't matter.
If you fully deconstruct the finite mind you will die and merge into Infinity. “But Leo, is that physical death?” There is no such thing as physical death. Physical death is part of your finite mind. When you merge into Infinity you will no longer distinguish between whether you are dead or alive. But your finite mind will be as afraid of this as physical death because the finite mind will be nullified. You will exist as absolutely nothing. Whether you return from Infinity is unknown. You will not know if you will return. You may not, and that is the risk of union with God. As soon as you feel yourself getting pulled into Absolute Infinity you will probably freak out and quickly snap yourself back into finite material duality. Your mind will not allow a full union with Infinity because that is truly its death. It will feel like you are about to kill yourself just by merging with Infinity.
I’m just warning you of how it works. Again, this work is not for cowards. Infinity is as serious as life & death. Ideally you would completely merge into Infinity, completely die, cease to exist as anything, exist in Infinity for Eternity, and then reemerge into human form. But there are no guarantees when you go that deep. That’s what Leap of Faith means. When you go completely into Infinity you are trusting God that you will reemerge as a human. But there is no guarantee and you must be okay with never returning. That’s why this work is so serious. I am not pushing you to do anything here. Use your own judgment. I am not responsible for your decisions.
But also, look at it like this: Every night you go to sleep, you are trusting in God that you will reemerge. And there is never a guarantee. You could die in your sleep any night. But you never even think about this. Because you just trust the process so much. Your trust goes much deeper than you realize.
If you completely disappeared, existed in Infinity Forever, and then returned — that would be a life-changing Awakening. You would never be the same again. You would be death incarnate.
By the way, the longer you reside inside of Pure Infinity, the more God heals all your corruption. God's Love will annihilate all of your corruption until you become absolutely nothing. If you reemerge, you will be Nothing incarnate.
That is the ultimate spiritual process. It doesn't get any more serious and profound than that.