How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You
By Leo Gura - January 19, 2014 | 27 Comments
Learn how to make a girl fall in love with you in 15 minutes. By following these fundamental principles, you will own your woman’s heart forever.
Hey, this is Leo for Actualized.org and this is another quick self-help segment where, in about 10 minutes, I’m going to tell you how to make a girl fall in love with you.
This is actually a personal topic that I’ve been studying hardcore for the last two years because I’m involved in the pick-up community. I came from a place where I had horrible skills with dating and no experience. I didn’t know how to flirt. I didn’t know how to attract women. I didn’t know how to land or keep a girlfriend.
These were all new experiences that I had to go through and learn the hard way – much harder than most people did. Through my journey, I actually went through two years of brutal training. I studied hundreds of hours of theory about how to attract women, what women want, and female psychology. Then I went out and practiced it in the field in clubs and in bars to test the theories and the techniques and teach myself how to attract women.
This is a slightly different than how to get a girl to fall in love with you. We need to clarify it. There’s the attraction phase and then there’s the love phase.
This is the same thing I said in a similar video that I shot for girls. Before someone can fall in love with you, you need to first meet them and get some attraction and chemistry going. Then you’ll build up to love.
In some ways, the love comes naturally. You don’t need to worry about that too much. What you need to focus on is more of the attraction phase. Once you can attract somebody, then the love just kicks in naturally and things just start to happen.
All you have to do is take the biggest obstacles out of the path. Then that process will be smooth. If you have obstacles in the way, you’ll have some problems and you’ll be falling down here even though you’re attracting women.
I know some guys who are good at attracting women, but then they aren’t able to keep them around because of several problems that they have. We’ll cover some of those and get into attraction as well.
What do women want in guys? This is related to the point of attraction. Even though people separate love from attraction, there’s a deep connection there. The fact is that to get love, you need attraction. The attraction carries off into love.
What attracts girls to guys? Girls are attracted to personality and not looks. This is a big misconception among guys, especially guys who have trouble attracting women. They think that their looks are a detriment and because they are a little overweight or they have some crooked teeth or pimples or this or that – they don’t have the perfect body or the perfect face – they can’t attract a girl. Nothing can be further from the truth.
What women are attracted to are emotions. If you can make her feel the right emotions that she likes to feel, then that’s it. She’s yours. It’s done. It’s so easy, as long as you can make her feel the right emotions.
It’s all about the emotions. Women are sensitive to emotions. Guys are logical and visual. We’re going to analyze everything about a woman logically and we’re going to be instantly attracted to her within five seconds because of how she looks. That’s not the same for girls.
Girls need to be romanced. They need to be warmed up. It’s not like a light switch. It’s more like a dial. That dial needs to be cranked up before she’s into you.
What actually cranks that dial up are the emotions that she’s feeling off of you. The emotions that she wants to feel are not even particular emotions. It’s more about the range of emotions that you’re giving her.
She wants to feel the ups and downs and she wants to be able to rely on you to give her a variety of emotions – hopefully, mostly positive, but sometimes, women even like negative emotions – because that’s what they like. They like to experience ranges of emotions.
Guys generally like to experience two emotions. We like to be happy or sad or excited. That’s about all we experience.
For girls, there’s a much wider range of emotions because they’re more emotional creatures. That’s why they love guys who are humorous. That’s why they love guys who can make them laugh. That’s why they love guys who are carefree and laid-back. That’s why they love guys who will take them on adventures. That’s why they like guys who are independent and strong-willed and have a sense of direction in their life and know what they want.
A guy like that takes the girl along with him on a journey and she loves that. One metaphor that they use in the pick-up community is that the girl is like a passenger and the guy is like a ship. What she’s going to do, because she’s feminine, is look around to see what kind of ships are out there.
Let’s say we’re in the Caribbean and there’s a bunch of little islands. This ship pulls by and now this girl has the option to get on one ship or another ship or a third ship. Which one does she want?
She wants the ship that’s going to steer her around to the most exciting and coolest islands. It’s going to show her all these great things. It’s going to take her on this tour of the Caribbean. That’s what she wants.
She doesn’t want the ship that’s going to take her from the dock to a little cave and then that’s it. She doesn’t want that.
If you think that you’re going to attract a girl by going out there and either going to a bar or club or meeting her through your friends and then shacking up with her and dragging her back to your man cave, it’s not going to happen.
Girls like guys who are social. They like guys who are outgoing. They like guys who have a little bit of edge. They like guys who are a little bit dangerous or a little bit risky and that push them out of their comfort zone and make them do slightly crazy things that they wouldn’t have naturally done before.
That’s giving them emotions. That’s emotional stimulation. This is happening both on the micro and macro level.
On the micro level, the way that happens is just through the initial interaction. How do you meet that girl? How do you introduce yourself? Are you coming up there are stilted and just saying, “Hi, I’m Bob and I work at J.P. Morgan and I drive a Mercedes and…?”
That’s all logical talk. The fact is, girls are listening to the sub-communication and the emotional layer of the conversation. If you go in there with a conversation like that, what’s the emotional conversation there?
On the logical level, you’re presenting yourself as this valuable man. You have your life together. You went to school. You have some money. You have a nice car. You can provide for her. That seems like something that she would want, but she’s a girl. She doesn’t want that.
She does, on a logical level, as a woman, but deep down, she’s a girl and she wants fun, stimulation, and adventure. She’s looking at the emotional level.
The emotional level of that conversation was just a flat-line. It was boring. She doesn’t want that. She wants to get stimulated.
The guy who will go in there and give her some crazy line or tell her something about herself that makes her a little self-conscious or pushes her boundaries or tell her something crazy. That will get her interest piqued.
They think, “Oh, he’s a little different. He’s edgy. He’s not this boring dude. I want to go and see what more there is.” She’s curious. Now it’s like a movie.
It’s an interesting movie with a suspense plotline. It’s like a thriller and she wants to get on that rollercoaster ride. She wants to get on that ship and she wants to see what you offer her.
That’s on the micro level. Then on the macro level is where we get into the whole “love” thing. How do you get her to fall in love with you? You try to do that on the macro level, too.
Once the relationship gets a little more serious and gets passed the sex phase and you’re seriously dating and it’s getting a little bit more heavy into relationship territory, it’s still about keeping it up. You have to work on your relationship.
You can’t just sit at home and watch movies together all of the time. That’s going to be boring. She’s going to be bored with that. You have to be offering her new things.
You have to be going on exciting dates once in a while, at least. You have to have cool friends that she can see and hang out with. You have to be challenging her in different ways. You have to be getting her to learn stuff and taking her to places she’s never been to and giving her new experiences.
Girls love that stuff. If you can do that, she’s going to think that you’re the best boyfriend. It’s amazing.
The other thing is that women love sex. All women love sex. They’re highly sexual creatures. They, in fact, maybe like sex more than guys do. It’s just that they have a lot more social conditioning put upon them so that they can never admit that they like sex that much. However, you know how much women like sex if you’ve been with women.
To keep a woman around, learn to have amazing sex and don’t be selfish during sex. I see that a lot of guys out there, especially in the pick-up community, will be selfish about sex and it’s not going to be about pleasuring the girl or about making an amazing experience out of sex. It’s going to be like getting your load off real quick and that’s not going to do it.
I personally love to experiment. I love to do crazy things. I like to make it special. I like to go all out for it.
I love it myself. I love the reaction that I get from the girl. It’s awesome.
Learn sex. Learn how to be better in bed. Learn how to last longer. Learn how to have multiple orgasms. Learn how to give her multiple orgasms. Learn how to do different sexual positions. Learn how to have sex in a public bathroom.
I don’t care. Figure it out. Try things. Experiment. Be adventurous about this stuff.
If you’re not giving your girl five to 10 orgasms every night, then something is wrong. You suck. I see this all the time.
I ask some of my friends, “How many orgasms are you giving to one ofr your girls?” and they’ll say, “Maybe one? I don’t even know. I don’t even ask them or register it from them.”
That’s preposterous! As a man, you should be giving your girl more than five orgasms every single time. Otherwise, I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking and what you’re doing.
If you can do that, then she will love you easily. You will not have a problem with love.
The other thing, of course, is that women hate it when you get needy with them and when you make your lifeove about the woman. Your life has to be your life. You have to have a sense of direction.
When you get a girl and you’re starting to become a little more serious with her, be cognizant of the fact that you don’t want to be overbearing on her and you don’t want to make her the center of your life. Girls hate that.
Even though it seems like they would want that because you’re lavishing them with all of that attention and love, the fact is that they want a man who’s a man. A man who’s a man is grounded in something. He’s grounded in his purpose in life.
Actually having a strong sense of purpose in life and having a strong career or having a business that you’re running or something that’s important or that you believe in or something that you’re willing to fight for, besides your girl, is important. She’ll sense that.
She’ll sense that you’re grounded and she’ll be able to trust you and rely on you and she’ll be able to be girly around you and express herself. That’s what she wants. She wants to just let go and have you take care of shit for her so that she doesn’t have to be the man in the relationship.
Do not make her the man. If you make her decide where you guys go all the time or plan your trips or if you are wishy-washy all the time, have no sense of direction, or always telling her to come over and to be what you cherish and that you’re just going to bunk up with her all the time, that is a surefire way to lose her.
She is going to fall out of love with you if you do that and she’s going to go find another guy who is more of a man than you are. You’re being a pussy. What you need is a strong sense of direction.
Do not be dissuaded by her moods or her pleading you to put all of your attention on her. That’s not what she wants. She’s going to test you in subtle ways and she’s going to be emotional around you.
What she wants you to do is to stay the course. She wants you to be strong so that she can do that. That’s what she likes. She doesn’t want you to become the girl.
Do not become the girl. That is a surefire way to lose her and to make her fall out of love with you.
If you do all of the other things, then you will attract her and it will grow into love and it will be awesome.
Of course, if you want to keep that going, then you need to work on yourself and you need to make yourself a better man. It’s a long-term process. It’s a deep topic to get into.
I’m going to cover a lot more of that on Actualized.org in my other videos. If you feel like you want to get this dialed in and you want to get it dialed in on a deep level, come check out Actualized.org where I’m going to cover more of these topics. I cover other self-development topics which are all pertinent to getting the girl.
The girl also wants you to be a successful man. She wants you to have some money, even though money is not strictly important. She wants you to be well-off. That’s going to be a factor in your favor.
She wants you to be grounded. She wants you to be emotionally unreactive to her moods. To do that, you need a sense of self-control and emotional self-mastery. These are a lot of the topics that I cover in the videos that I shoot on Actualized.org.
Go ahead and check it out. Leave your comments here. Please “like” it. Please share it. Subscribe to my newsletter.
This is Leo signing off.