The Power Of Self Acceptance

By Leo Gura - March 27, 2016 | 65 Comments

How to stop beating yourself up

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Danny says:

Hey Leo,

I’ve just returned to your site after 6 months, I found your clips helpfull back then, but I must note that now they got really deep and insghitful.
Thank you for that.

Leo Gura says:

Welcome back

KathyGermany says:

Hey guys, I also returned after being absent again. When I started watching your Vids I wrote my masterthesis with lots of issues. I finished the paper scarcely. Thinking of my life and my routines I found that I also fell into lot of traps in mind and it got worse. So some weeks ago I started a psychotherapy and the therapist wrote after three sessions that I got an affective disorder with depressive episodes. Even in the english version of ICD 10 it is something around F30 – F39. Wow, reading this F.32.I was hard but sadly true. Sometimes my mood affects my daily activities. He said that we have to work on my self-acceptance and self-confidence… tell me sth new, I thought. So thanks also from my side again for your video!

Irtaza says:

you are great…..

ailin kyung says:

Leo, I really need your transcript to understand the video completly.
Upload the transcript please!
Its really useful for me and its my third language

Arnie says:

Hey Leo

Wow, most of the time during this practice of Self Acceptance I cried my eyes out just from the realization, that I reject my ‘sins’ and can’t accept them. As I tried to move on to love them, I felt the urge to scream, because there was so much resistance. Hehe, guess I’m pretty fucked up inside :-/

A question regarding ‘need vs. want’:
Do you think most Personal Development authors have ‘wants’ in mind when they talk about the driving force that draws people toward achievement/success? For example, Napoleon Hill calls it ‘desire’. After this episode, I think that most of them mean ‘needs’ / motivation by lack.

Best whishes
Arnie

Leo Gura says:

Many self-help motivations are quite low-level and stem from the ego, which is actually neurotic. But, hey, you gotta start somewhere

Kamil says:

how are you

KathyGermany says:

Hey Arnie,
may I ask if you wondered that you can cry that much? I could cry so much…even when I see sth beautiful and I wanted to know why I could cry so much more than others that I start thinking I am abnormal.
For example in Germany KungFuPanda 3 started and when I watched it I could cry because I love it so much. The panda wants his dad to show him how to be a real panda. I thought its an important subject learning to be a good human being again with all sensations and less distraction from television. But I wonderd that I love these movies so much while others just say: Ya, its ok, its cute. My new therapist explained that these movies touch my deepest desires of my needy part longing for satisfaction. Maybe?

Sourabh says:

Hi Leo Can you do a video about lucid dreaming?its a powerful process for achieveing dreams.

Yuri says:

What is lucid dreaming ?

Leo Gura says:

I will at some point.

Chantal says:

Thank you LEO!. Another method for this great exercise is actually the inner mother talking to the inner child when an emotion comes up. When the child feels sad, jealous, lost, desperate….. The inner mother asks the child. Come here my sweety, my little baby. Come sit with me. She put her arms around the little one and asks : What is the matter with you? And the child says….I feel……. The mother always answers : I UNDERSTAND YOU my little sweet thing…come sit here with me, I love you so much, I understand you feel……… AND it’s totally ok.
The child relaxes and the emotion ebbs.
Maybe more for women

Leo Gura says:

That could work. Thanks for sharing.

Liz says:

Chantal, I love this visualisation. The more parents offering these beautiful soothing words of acceptance and comfort to their children, the more adults we would have doing this for themselves, and the less neurosis we would see in the world. Thanks for sharing

Mayur Ghule says:

Thank You Leo,

It is amazing to know that all this videos have potential to change course of life . At least they are changing my course, directing me towards simply extraordinary life.

Thanks for this must needed visualization .

Kristen says:

Thank you, Leo. The money one actually brought me to tears. Several others had strong emotions tied to them as well. Amazing how easy it is to let go and forgive with something as simple as self love.

Leo Gura says:

Most of us have a lot of deep dysfunctional beliefs about money.

Rod Power says:

Very insightful information. You speak to me on a very profound, deep, spiritual level. You do so much work and then share this important information with anyone who wants their lives transformed … And that’s what this is a complete transformation for the better … Amazing. You have helped me in so many ways. My relationship to fear has changed dramatically. I have just started a small business, and lost 25 lbs …. You helped me with that Leo and I do t even know you. I look forward to your emails and any information regarding enlightenment. Thank you so much

Leo Gura says:

Great to see you getting results

Stick with it. The best is yet ahead.

Anita says:

I couldn’t stop crying throughout this! I know tears are good but truth be told – I have cried a river in my life. I am an HSP, so I feel very deeply but I am also not satisfied in my life. I am working at it but I do feel lost at times and stuck. I have struggled with lack of funds for decades. I also fight depression and have PTSD. I am in the habit of listening to something inspiring, motivational and or positive daily to keep my sanity. I mostly feel that I am spinning my wheels in life. I struggle with choosing a career, poverty, pain management, mental health and I suck at relationships. I am a very smart woman but somehow I don’t seem to learn if that makes any sense. Thanks for reading. A

Leo Gura says:

That’s good. Crying means you’re tapping into something deep and honest.

Dora says:

Hi Leo,

That was beautiful!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your mission with us!!!
I deeply appreciate it!!!!

What a great tool for Freedom!!!!

With deep gratitude and admiration!!!

I enjoy listen to your videos because they are like pieces of the puzzle, and right now in my life everything that comes to me is like that!!!! The feeling of growing, spaciousness and flowing with life is just wonderful!!!!

Thank you so much!!!!

Dora

Leo Gura says:

Welcome

Mirella says:

Leo, thank you. That was mind blowing, indeed. You come up always with what I need at the exact moment. Cheers!

Ryan Gleeson says:

Leo, I am genuinely curious to know what exactly you were like at my age (19), going off in to 20’s

1.how you felt in general life?
2.what you really felt was possible at 19y.o.?
3.What were you’re circumstances (independent?, living with parents?)
4.Were you still in college and what were you studying at 19/20?
5.Did you seriously doubt you’re own capabilities and potentials?
6.Were you ever lonely Leo?
7.Did you ever have anybody to understand and talk with or were you self-sufficiently supportive on you’re own?
8.Did you ever hit any frustrating brick walls and dead ends and want to give it all up?
9.What intrinsically motivated you at that point?
10.Were you fulfilled or hopeful of the future??

Thanks Leo

Leo Gura says:

1) I was a diligent student in college but also lost about what my career should be.

2) I felt anything was possible, but I didn’t yet understand the importance of psychology and personal development.

3) I was living with my parents and brother.

4) I was just entering college.

5) I didn’t doubt my capabilities. But I was unclear about what to do with my major/career.

6) No

7) I mostly relied on myself. Didn’t have anyone to talk to really, but I never felt I needed anyone to talk to. All the deepest truths in life cannot be talked about effectively and must be faced solo.

Yes, some of my classes in college were hard. But I never seriously considered giving up.

9) The search for Truth and influencing the world through my creativity.

10) In college I was quite fulfilled. 100% hopeful about the future.

Coco says:

Hi Leo, Thank you very much for this wonderful meditation. It’s very helpful.

Uldis says:

Pure Gold !
This will go to “Selection of Leo’s Best Videos”.
I cried at some stages of visualization and I’m not the crying type of person.
Thank you !

REMO BBY says:

Hi Leo,

Thank you for the kind job that you are doing to mankind. I immensely benefited a lot, watching / hearing your speeches omn varied topics.

Geno says:

Thanks Leo for this video on self acceptance and I know I will repeatedly use it on myself. The only thing I disagree with was what you were talking about in the beginning about opening up yourself and being fruity or effeminate. I believe whether your male or female and being vulnerable and opening up hasn’t got a thing to do with being fruity. I am a man and I know I have a masculine side and a feminine side but that still has nothing to do with being fruity. I believe whether you’re a man or a woman if you can open yourself up deep inside than that is a good thing.

Bonang says:

Thanks Leo for this video on self acceptance. I have recently become a member of the Actualized.com family and have been truly blessed. I have been inspired to also have my own entertainment Vlog as such I would like to know what kind of cameras you use. Your assistance and response would gladly be appreciated .

Mike says:

Leo,

THanks for this video, I am in therapy right now recovering from some issues and learning to accept myself, which is a hard thing to do. THis is a great tool and I will watch it everyday to help heal the wounds! Great video!!

Ron says:

It works because it does, but I think there are shortcuts to do so. For istance, just know that that self you are trying to accept is not even you and you are way bigger than that (than your personal self), so why even bothering to accept something that’s not you but just a bunch of automatic thoughts and emotions from childhood? Just focus on what you think your true self really is, and acceptance will follow naturally

Leo Gura says:

Enlightenment is not a shortcut. It takes years. And even then, you will never fully embody enlightenment without lots of additional psychological work, including acceptance and love of your “sins”.

But sure, go straight for enlightenment if you dare to.

Gokul Kumar says:

hey leo..
Transcripts were helpful.. you can read it which is an good habit .. so Transcripts would be helpful

Hengame says:

Hi Leo I know you do not have time to give me an answer but maybe your admin can advise me on my technical question, normally I get an email once your new video goes life but this time and for this video I did not get any I was wondering every week, is there any problem with my emai address ? I do not want to miss any of your videos. appreciate your advice on this. Hengame

Leo Gura says:

I checked the email you entered in the comments here against the newsletter database and it’s not there. So either you used a different email or you should subscribe again.

You can use this link to subscribe to the newsletter:
http /www.actualized.org/newsletter

Also, make sure you check your spam filter settings. Newsletter emails tend to get filtered out sometimes.

Hengame says:

With my best regards to you Leo , you are the best and your website is the best websit ever exists, just one more thing, often I am thinking what should I do and how can I go on in my life without your guidance, I will be lost, it gives me fear like a child without his mother. My appreciation.

Leo Gura says:

Then stop making me your guru. That’s not personal development, that’s codependency.

Ali Rida says:

Leo during the visualization I felt extremely tense and an urge to open my eyes as if it’s never done before. What do you think?

Leo Gura says:

You’ve got emotional baggage that needs investigation and work to unwire.

Ali Rida says:

Sounds something serious can you recommend me a video of yours that might help. Leo one last question, do you think Nathenial Brandens sentence completion is a good practice in increasing the self acceptance or its just another low level therapy. Thanks alot

Leo Gura says:

The issue is way to vague to make any suggestions.

Yes, his sentence completions are a very powerful tool.

Jon says:

This video and topic has been THE most helpful to me by far. I can see myself listening to this exercise nightly for a while. Thank you Leo for doing what you do, and thank you for the peace of mind. I suffer from thoughts of never being good enough and being ashamed of feelings, and because of that I find myself having trouble opening up to anyone truly and building relationships. Love is the best thing in life for sure. I think I can get closer to that listening to this.

Pia J says:

Thank you Leo!
Once again an insightfull video

Kind regards Pia J

Minh says:

Thank you. This is so powerful. It bring me lasting peace better than any other activities that I’m doing to stop torment myself. Doing this even make me love everything else… You saved me from those thought of ending my useless life…
I now have to admit you are my top role model Leo. What you’re doing is invaluable. Plz excuse my bad english. THANKS

joe e says:

Nice video Leo! You know who accepts you even more? Jesus

Helly says:

Hi Leo, I didn’t watch your video entirely, just the beginning, I’ll see if can do it latter. Anyways, I’d like to ask you about a problem I have, and I thought of finding some tips in this video. Well, I don’t have a problem in accepting my sins, I have done some kind of self acceptance thing for a long while. But I have a problem accepting another thing, which is my own development. When I see myself getting better at something, I feel a tension, I start to be very anxious and worried. It’s like some thoughts of me doing or being the completely opposite starts to haunt me. I found it similar to a mental disorder – Which I forgot the name – where there’s some sort of shadow of myself which has everything I reject and hate in it, and it conflicts with me because I’m trying to maintain an integrity. When I’m in that state, I start to hate people that I consider inferior, and I just can’t be near them. And after these thoughts come, I just can’t do anything anymore, I feel demotivated, and then it just ruins my life completely. Are you going to talk about that in the rest of the video or do you have some tip to hep me dealing with this problem? I would like to visit a psychoanalyst but they are very expensive here where I live and I can’t afford them. If you can help, I would really appreciate it.

Vashist says:

Hey…listen to the video, practice the visualisation and you will find the solution to your problem. It is indeed powerful, try it and make it a habit, till there is a full let go in you. Good luck.

Sam says:

Thanks Leo, this video, as well as all your others, was extremely helpful.

George Lawson says:

That was the most powerful visualisation I’ve ever done. Keep making more Leo!

Vashist says:

Yes tears started pouring out, once I came to that part of me with bad habits and addiction. Thanks a lot brother Leo. Bless you.

mick merasty says:

my third eye or forehead is so fucking ripped crack, crack crack. my sister and mom can even hear that crAck its been happening for over a year now and my forehead looks like its grown no lie. need to fucking get more enlightened thanks Leo im so glad i was watching your videos for a long time, and with enlightenment its funny im so actualized

Margarita Baez says:

Hi Leo,
I am greatful to be able to access your great videos. I am a better person, because I watched some of them. Thank You, your awesome!!!

please send me a copy of the newsletter! I’m looking forward to reading it.

Margarita Baez

Leanne says:

Hey Leo – before I start – thank you and shucks, I love you.

I, like you, have read self help books for a very long time, although nothing for me has really sunk in. Not sure why, ego i guess. For 38 years I have felt that there was something wrong with me and I had nearly given up hope.

I turned to drugs and Ive been an addict on and off for 20 years.
It wasn’t until I was at my lowest point AGAIN a week ago that I found you. And the lightbulb moments have not stopped since.

The first of those moments was when I realized that I was neurotic and, wow, how?! I was overjoyed. Because it means that I’m not crazy. You said ‘its time to grow the fuck up!’ and instead of turning off the pc, I stayed and listened. Anyone else and I would have told them where to go.

Jeez, I knew I had stuff to shift but I had no idea how much.

I followed your advice and started off my reading with a copy of ‘The Sedona Method’ and Freud’s ‘Dream Psychlogy’. I was astounded by how easy it was for me to follow the method and ‘let go’. I didn’t think that I would understand Freud’s book at all or I thought that the ‘sex’ part of his theories would repulse me (as I get kinda prudish), but fo’shizl and gizl, I thought I’d read it anyway.

Wow. Those lightbulb moments I experienced as a result of reading this book were indescribably profound for me.

When I read about the Psychosexual stages and the Oedipus/Electra Complexes, I found some information I needed to be able to start letting go and to heal and I saw how I became so screwed up in the first place.

So, looking at the stages, hurt started at the ‘mouth’ stage – my mother and father didn’t like me. My mum couldn’t believe that such an ugly child was hers & Dad wanted a boy. She refused to breastfeed me – her approach was to let me cry myself to sleep and I wasn’t able to soothe myself because she used to wrap me up so tight. Consequently I never moved on from there and I will still cry myself to sleep some nights.

At the ‘Anal’ stage, I was brought up on a secluded beach property where I could just ‘go’ anywhere I wanted. My childhood was lonely until I turned 3 and my brother was born.To this day I struggle with keeping my shit to myself, prone to oversharing and just blurting shit out for attention.

I feel that I can address my issues here by learning to accept and let go of my parent’s not being fans of me, my brother being wanted more than I and I’m not too concerned right now with my appearance cos I’m not ugly. The over sharing I can work on because I want to change that. I don’t need attention either regardless if i want it or not

The ‘phallic’ stage, after reading it, I realised I have wanted to be ‘the boy’ like in the Electra complex but I didn’t like Mum cos she didnt like me.
Then it was clear that I had to forgive my mother/father/brother by letting go and to cherish myself and to embrace my femininity that for years I identified as being ‘weak’
I then realized I had just psychoanalysed myself and I felt empowered.

I feel like I might be on the right track, especially with the tools you have given us. I feel I can truly move forward and start to leave stuff behind. Im more realistic about myself (sick of my own bull), I know Ive got a looooonnnng road ahead and I know that Im going to fail lots. Im breaking it down though into manageable sizes and to give myself the best possible chance, I am returning to your works to continue mine when Im cleaner in another week.

Now, I’m off to the purification fires to heal my body whilst in meditation for my mind.

Looking forward to your next video, thank you Leo once again.

Leanne.

Alicja says:

Hey Leo, I’ve been struggling with coming up with any memory filled with love. I’m not sure why, I just can’t feel it. Therefore, I can’t take anything from visualising love. How to extract it and actually feel it, could you suggest anything?

I mean even when I think of a happy memory with people close to me, or any other setting, I can’t feel love. I feel nothing.

Many thanks for sharing your knowledge with us, Leo.

Ben says:

Hi Leo.

When accepting your ‘sins’, does that preclude talking back to negative thoughts? Should I simply love, accept and understand this one who has negative thoughts?

Regards,

Ben

Mia says:

In other videos you talk about there being no self. We are nothing as I heard you say. Now, self acceptance? What or who are we talking about?

Leo Gura says:

You’re mixing various levels of discussion.

First, start with just accepting the illusory self that you think you are.

Later, you can discover that the true Self is nothingness. And that Self is completely accepting.

Mia says:

Different levels of discussion must mean different levels of truth. We don’t live depending on the most truthful level do we? So we have to dumb ourselves down a bit in order to live.

Your videos make me think so much. I’ll thank you for that.

Matt says:

Thanks. The tears…oh the tears

Kamil says:

I tried this couple times and it seems to work
How many time do i need to do is to be able to completely accept myself
Thank you
Ps this even helps when you depressed

Saniz says:

Hey, Leo, when accepting yourself, especially your sins. Should you be like this (the sins) is a part of me and I accept it. I am concerned about that approach because would that help create an identity which would be then feeding your ego?

Pol says:

There are too many issues, it’s too vast, too complex to analyze,
but thanks to this video I am begginig to understand that those issues, or different personalities in my head, are now like people trying to rule themselves by fighting one another. An alarm sounds and everybody is shouting madly and hurting each other. What may have begin years ago with some little arguement is now the biggest World Mind War and its getting worse everyday. And I believe humanity is suffering just as I do. So it is time to use real intelligence understanding that fight has no winners at the end and that coperation is a good way to influence and make positive changes in life. So intead of shouting, talking. Instesd of fighting, embracing. Instead of misunderstanding, trusting. Instead of hatred,love. I will bear this in mind from now on. Thanks for the help Lio!

By the way I don’t post usually cause i’ve been afraid of sharing my opinions but these video gave me some courage. Thanks again.

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