How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

By Leo Gura - March 7, 2016 | 39 Comments

7 key reframes or mindset shifts to stop comparing yourself with others.

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Dave says:

why dont you put the transcripts anymore?

Harminder says:

Thanks LEO. THANKS from the deepest core of my heart. Pl

Opo says:

Thank you Leo for another interesting topic. I’ve been thinking about it for years.

JOHN says:

Love this!!! Glad you covered this topic. I struggle with this big time.

Darren says:

Another fantastic video mate. I’ve shared this video with my ex and my daughter so far but definitely gonna share it with more people. However, i’m going to watch it again to reinforce what you said. I like the fact you tied in the word relax with being yourself. I watch a video in the forum (which I encourage every body to join) and the guy in it said Relaxing is the path to Enlightenment and if your not noticing yourself breathing your probably going to fast. Great topic bruv. You also mentioned manifesting in the vid and I recently had an amazing time at a manifestation work shop. Could you please do a video on Manifestation if you haven’t already. If you have could someone tell me where I can find it? Cheers.

Hengame says:

Great topic, I wish I had this video long time ago to wake me and open my eyes. Thanks again.

Yuri says:

With reference to 7th re-frame – If a guy gets the girl I want How can I add her to my list , she is already taken by him , should I approach her anyway or restrict my self ?

Leo Gura says:

If you ever think you need a particular girl, you’re already off on the wrong foot. You want a great relationship, not a specific girl.

Yuri says:

Ooh ! That means one should not focus or depend on particular person for relationship because may be he/she can make same great relationship with some another person that they failed to make with the first one.

Thank you leo your videos have really nice solution for many different problems.

It feels great that there exist something in this world called Actualized.org

Beatrice Gingles says:

Great video. I agree that comparison in terms of value is not valuable, but in the end of the video you said: “When I look at other people, I get inspired by what I can become” and “there is a huge gap where the average person is and where a remarkable, extraordinary person is”. That’s kind of a comparison. I think as a social “animal” we can’t help, but compare ourselves to other people, but like you said, there is no intrinsic value or worth in the various life expressions. But in terms of “actualizing” there is some aspect of thriving in it’s intention, and some kind of competition, because just like a top athlete, we want to get more of what’s possible in our situation, and the fruit of our labors are usually, like in sports, measured by how we stack up against other participants. And we certainly admire the work and focus that goes into the result an extraordinary person exhibits and that inspires us. When we look back over our lives I hope we can compare where we are now vs. where we were 10, 20 however many years ago and say that we learned something. I think the “goal” is to be happy in spite of circumstances and circumstances always change, so that it takes a constant adjustment on our part and learning new ways of approaching life and your information brings us lots of food for thoughts and I want to thank you for this.

Cris says:

Have you realized you tend to repeat the same info for 3-4 times? It’s getting boring, man.

Just watch your own videos. It’s like you’re talking to yourself blah blah blah… or trying to convince yourself of what you’re preaching It’s like a dissection of an idea. A 1 hour video of yours could easily get to 10 minutes efficient info. It’s just a suggestion.

knarF says:

I believe this video is very helpful as to understanding the nature of comparison to others and start to have a clue as where to start for fixing it. But it came and touch me so much that it kind of hurts at some point, because it touches something inside me that I don’t like i guess.

Thanks for your videos, they re all helping me.

Lili says:

Hello Leo,
Thanks for this video. I grow up with comparing myself with others because my parents did this to me and my siblings. They are still comparing us with our friends and neighbors lifestyle, how reach and happy they are. These comparisons caused their kids to become losers and not have enough confidence to take care of their real life.

Thanks, again

geminipisces says:

I bet you must be INFP personality.

Morty says:

Leo, it means you disagree with the idea of collaborativity inserted in Tragedy of the Commons, as you say earth’s got enough resources for humanity throughout plenty of years?

David says:

Leo. Simple question. I feel like people dislike me at times. Im tall skinny pale. Been told i look intimidating or hard to approach. Any advice please?

Leo Gura says:

Give yourself LOVE for being tall, skinny, pale, and hard to approach. Just love that one.

David says:

In other words. Just rock what you got and exude confidence? Guess i dont feel like i fit in at times.

Leo Gura says:

No, give yourself the LOVE you’ve been denying yourself.

Adam says:

Leo,

Could you make the transcript again .I really like you and your videos ,and in our country this is not easy to learn someting like it ,and very sorry for my suck enlish ,and I know the laguage ability is my own problem ,but the content of the video really attract me a lot ,and now I am learning english hard ,hope one day could understand your video well .and now really hope you could make the transcript again .

Thank you very much !
Adam

WingWizard says:

Hey Leo. Make an episode on ‘Neediness’ please.

Ali Bahja says:

Leo I live in Lebanon. We have the most fucked up Internet in the world. Can you add a feature to remove HD.

Leo Gura says:

Youtube has that feature.

sandy says:

I’m 55 yrs old. Is it too late for me?

Leo Gura says:

Yes, at 55 you just lay down and give up on life.

Joanne says:

Hahaha. You are great! Love your videos and sense of humor. I hope Sandy thinks so too

Fiorella Zegarra says:

Hey Leo, can you make a video about different ideas to get out of comfort zone?? You are amazing and through your videos you have changed my world views and self view, thank you

Hengame says:

Leo, I can’t imagin one day without watching or repeating your videos.

Mu says:

Haha ! True
Once I decided to stop watching Leo’s videos for some time but could not stop. May be the reason is that every time videos are becoming more interesting and profound.

anu says:

sir, why dont you make videos to overcome neediness issue!

michele says:

Leo, do people have no worth, because the self is an illusion?
Thank you!

sharon says:

Absolutely great video! It changed fundamentally how I view competition, how one drive satisfaction by being oneself, accepting one’s shortcoming, focusing on creating the stuff you are strong at, ignoring the weakness, focusing on creating. Best, complement your weakness with other people’s help will achieve much more.
the glamor and the achievement of successful people does not mean you know them and you think can accomplish the same because you don’t really know them.

Dylan says:

Leo you are my big bro! I think you are the most authentic, gracious and generous individual / mentor / teacher I’ve ever know. Lots of self-help guru are not as generous and wise and authentic as Leo!

Thirst for power and ambitious athlete wrap their ego with the achievement does have its drawback–the huge pressure to go on for the alpha wolf can be destructive. The insecurity, the comparison and the fear of someone else overtaking their positions can be threatening. We can change that! it does not have to rob the joy and satisfaction from life.

Dylan says:

Leo is the most authentic and generous and wise mentor / teacher I have ever known! Some of the guru for self-help is not as generous and authentic as Leo!

Use other people’s huge success to fuel your own inspiration to achieve, rather than feeling lack and envy!

Thank you.

Jenny says:

See other people’s achievement as the possible ones for yourself. Add that to your list that you will do something about it. Use that as the source of inspiration! Focus on creating your own work with the inspiration!

You said the best Leo. Thank you so much.

stutter says:

Hi Leo – great video as always. I’m searching for the reason why I can speak fluently when I am all alone, but stutter in front of others. I assume it has to do with comparing myself to others because I stutter worse around those I view as “better” (work superiors) and more fluently around those I view as “inferior” (children). Any advice on how I can work to be fluent all the time?

Thanks.

Marianela says:

Awesome video – very inspiring and encouraging. I usually write stuff that I’m grateful for in my life and just appreciate what I have. Instead of comparing to others, I compare myself to what I was yesterday. It really gives me a whole new perspective about myself.

Heather Crespi says:

So helpful!

Katie says:

Really enjoyed this video “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.” Lots of helpful ideas or what you call reframes. Some are more challenging than others, some I already practice. Thank you.

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