How To Deal With Criticism, Trolls, and Haters
By Leo Gura - October 5, 2015 | 30 Comments
Insights for becoming immune to criticism
curious says: Riiiiiight!!! Leo I knew what my life purpose was but I screwed up alot.
Im too old to go through that path now and the big thing is that if I still go for it I might succeed and end up in a spot light and Im scared of ghosts haunting me from my past. What if your life purpose means that you have to be public about your life but you don’t want to public about it. It’s keeping me stuck
kelti says: I M 65 years old now, and W A Y too old for abusers of any kind… they can stay the heck away from me… and I do not care what others think of me… been there and done with that…
Outi says: Kelti, I am happy to hear that. But my experience is that your age doesnt necessarily protect you. I have seen 80 year-old men and women being cruely misused and abused. Unless you meant that when you were younger, anyone could hurt your just by being nasty, but that is all over now: at your age you really dont care any more about what anyone says? I am 57 and I have realized that within years, I care less and less about what others say, but I cant say I was 100% dependent on it.
Any way, Leos video was an eye-opener, once again. Thank you, Leo!
(Sorry for my English, its not my native language!)
Galyna says: Thank you a lot, as usual enjoyed your video while having dinner.
I think the ability to accept and understand critics hidden within us. You have to be honest with people and yourself to see what motives lies behind any critics: either jealousy or advice, and go from that direction. Sometimes it is not easy to be honest and we want to hide or substitute our opinions about ourselves with faulty statements, or if we are lacking self-confidence we begin to accept faulty statements. I believe that the level of mental growth can be measured with this kind of thing. The more mature the person inside, the less it creates any kind of authorities and relies on its own inner feelings and intuition.
c says: Leo, Great video as always. I really needed to hear this advice. I’m on a clear path now to enlightenment and I haven’t been too open with people about it as much as I’ve wanted to be. I was worried and afraid of what other people would think about what I’ve seen and experienced so far. Thanks for giving me the courage to be more open.
I knew people chastised others because of their insecurities, but not because of laziness and fear of success. Very good insight! And chastising others instead of staying positive and sharing and expressing LOVE, means you have steered off your path and purpose. Everyone that has ever made fun of me in my past always was lacking something….I never thought about it that way….wow….that means some of them may have been jealous…. my past doesn’t seem so bleak as it did before….not that the past has any meaning now…you should focus on the present, but it does make me feel better.
I also like the part of the video where you talked about women and working. It’s hard to find that healthy balance as a woman today. As I’ve studied polarity, and male and female needs from your awesome book list, I’ve learned that women put relationships first, while men put jobs first. Women primarily will put relationships first which makes them a prime target for being abused if they so happened to marry the wrong guy that is making household income and she stays at home. But there is also that delicate balance though too…if the woman is a workaholic…it can turn off a very masculine man…there is so much balance to this…but all in all…I’ve concluded that I shouldn’t care what other people think and just be myself.
Can your life purpose be something completely separate from your dream job? Can a life purpose be seeking enlightenment rather than being your very best at something?
Thanks for the insight as always!
kirk says: only listened for first several minutes and must stop to put in my appreciation!!!!! Wow! Wow! Leo, this is exactly what need to hear! I love love this brilliant, honest, most wise insight on the planet!!!!
Do not pin yourself in a corner by your boss, your loved ones even. I myself are responsible for my action, dream, life purpose, creating value, contribution to society. For women this is especially life saving sage insight!
Leo, my bro, I love you — my brotherly bear hug to you!!!
Now I am back to listen to it and repeat again!
Natasha says: Leo,
Awesome video. Really brings clarity. Helps simplify things for me.
Thanks for all you do.
Natasha
Michael says: I read in a book that we naturally search for ways to confirm our beliefs and dogmas, some people will even ignore information that disconfirms their beliefs and will unconsciously defy reason to make that information invalid.
The higher consciousness people make a deliberate effort to find faults in their beliefs and dogmas.
Neil Mitchell says: Gosh dam Leo! Right on! Maybe all the people I try to communicate that to will get it when they hear it from you!
It’s that black and white checkered pavement of life.
Brother, life is too short to be a crab in the bucket!!! I’ll have to remember that when in the business of conversation!
Thomas J says: Funny how your videos often seem to come along at very appropriate times.
This one really gives me some new, good insight which I can apply from this day on.
You Rock Leo, thanks man
Asaiah Powers says: What do you do when you try to do something you suck at and someone puts you down, or you couldn’t accomplish a certain task which makes you feel really ashamed & guilty.
Tejas says: Where is the emotions part 2 video
Eezy says: But Leo, what about critics who give you positive feedback? Do you think that matters? I know you might say that whatever they say still doesn’t change anything about the work being praised but don’t we have a human need to feel validated in a community which is very important for the feeling of life fulfillment.
Basically what I’m asking is “Is positive feedback good or is it also neutral?”
Daniela says: Wow Leo!! ‘Funny’..I -really- needed to hear these words today. I have,for a few months now,been unfairly judged/criticized by an older female co-worker..(whom I’ve made myself/& AM dependant on!)..She’s the only one who can help me keep this job/give me the opportunity to get a raise/and a promotion. She can,on the other hand,also destroy everything for me. She knows this to her immense satisfaction,-point is,she’s jealoux of me,everyone knows this, -I’ve tried pleasing her in almost! every way possible/bought her expensive gifts etc..but nothing helps. She’s aware of her power and she literally does everything she can to make fun of me in public/degrade me-and she KNOWS I can’t talk back/defend myself without the risk of losing everything!!
So..as always,-I’ve learned a lot from you today Leo and I’ll do the exercise and listen to the video a couple more times. Because the situation I’m in right now is truly unbearable.
THANK YOU LEO!! You’re the best!
Sincerely & respectfully,
Daniela.
sandra says: Leo, We should put your videos on the monitors in Times Square until this world becomes a better place. I’m 50. I’m happy. I have a have a great life. Your words are still music to my ears. I enjoy all of your videos and I pass the info on to other people who can really use it. You have made me a better person for sure!
Neil Mitchell says: Ain’t that the dam truth Sandra!!!
Neil Mitchell says: Except he picks on us market people!
Hey, Leo I don’t invest other people’s money! And there’s less hatefulness to deal with than in many other types of business dealings in my experiences.
Francine says: Hi Leo,
Terrific and thanks so much for sharing truth with the world!!!
One suggestion – the swears don’t justly reflect your character. It sounds like anger and hate. And I know that’s not your message.
Thanks again for your generosity and wisdom!
Francine
Neil says: In one of his videos he addresses this Francine.
It’s a messaging tactic if I recall correctly. To get your attention.
It’s so hard not to think we know what others mean sometimes isn’t it!!!
As I share his work with others, I enjoy watching their reactions as they test the water. It really brings people’s emotional IQ level to the surface! Lol
I do find it hard sometimes no to be influenced back to “political correctness” or “group think” that so many people need to feel comfortable in life. That kind of stuff rubs off ya know and it makes me go for some meditation time daily to “shake it off”!
Carol says: Not that it’s any of your business, but I think you’re awesome! This video was a great help
Hengame says: Hi Leo, I love all your Videos all of them fantastic and help me a mit.
Tiferet says: Hey Leo,
Thank you so much! Love your videos!!!!!!
You are amazing!!
evonn gibbs says: Very helpful, thank you so much for a thorough counsel on handling criticism. Very valuable was the denouement of caveats, which completed the lesson and which most people don’t think to include in counseling sessions. Helped me tie in humility & watch out for an inner troll.
You are very good at what you do and i know that doesn’t change the fact that you were already good at what you did, so keep it up!!
Thanks so much,
Evonn
Dave says: Leo what happened to the transcripts??
KC says: Hey Leo!
I appreciated the train metaphor. I was taught for years to put the thoughts and opinions of others before my own goals. What a way to slow me down! It took years to discover that I even had my own set of values and goals in life. Now, as I propel my train forward with a graduate school program (a decision that is not popular among my coworkers), I have an excellent visual to keep me going through all the naysayers.
Thanks for all your work (even with the predictable gender stereotyping). Your message really does effect people in a positive way.
Dennis says: Hello Leo;
I’ve been enjoying your video’s for awhile now, but I haven’t received an Email yet ? Why ?
I to have been into personal development, for about 40 years now. But I enjoy it and I like to hear other opinions.
Cheers, Dennis
Albert says: Great video, leo!
Max Gron says: Given that the criticism I get like you’re negative, you evil bastard, and are you alright, and looking at me funny by saying that isn’t feedback, they’re just negative, they’re just trolls, it doesn’t change the fact that this is Australia and that I’m an all-Australian guy, I’m still Mr Australia to the point I read a proudly Australian newspaper.
Max Gron says: I can use Leo’s advice to just see criticism as a meaningless opinion and not fish for any more compliments, I don’t care what any of you thinks. You calling me nuts didn’t change the reality that I’m not nuts, it didn’t change the fact that my belief is that I’m conventional and everybody accepts that, it didn’t weaken my self-image, what I think of myself, nor did it stop me from growing, it’s just your opinions and negative energy, you’re a ghost to this train and it drives through you. I don’t let people stop the tracks, and furthermore it gives me the perfect opportunity to read more and be on my liquid diet even more and meditate and think more. People should provide encouragement, they should be like the strangers in stores who think I’m an alright guy (no they shouldn’t think like them necessarily, but this game with your trolling is just your way of dragging me down).
Max Gron says: Not so ironic, I won’t get my money back because with Leo there is no money, but I have a complaint about your “structure”, I tried your stupid technique of the structure problem when my brother has a problem with the contents of my behaviour, which got me in a tiny amount of trouble, your “structure” doesn’t work, I think in being more complicated than that we can behave better than that!