Blueprint >> Emotional Buttons

Disclaimer: This document is in raw form as I process and distill 4 years-worth of my personal development notes. Expect some typos and cryptic language for now. I will be updating frequently and polishing up.

Prescription: Dismantle your buttons.
Related Concepts: Shadow Work, Emotional Awareness, Sedona Method, Waking Daze

What is Emotional Buttons?

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Why is it Important?

Being emotionally triggered is not a good way to live. You will be too reactive to the external environment, giving up your control, and leaking happiness.

Emotional Buttons Videos

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Emotional Buttons: Key Points

All of us have are own, peculiar sets of emotional triggers. Certain situations just really piss us off. You might get triggered when someone cuts you off on the highway, or abuses an animal, or makes a racist joke, or breaks a law, or yells at you, or litters, or calls you a name, or fails to stand up for the truth, or judges others, or ignores you, or lies to you. These are called buttons. Buttons trigger an automatic negative emotional response in you. Usually intense outrage followed by severe judgment, questioning, and anger.

You have more than one button. Identify each one. Write each one down, identify which circumstances activate the button, and how that makes you react.

Your buttons could be costing you a lot. Even though you are righteously angry, negative emotional reactions rob you of power. Other people will use your buttons to control you. If you have many sensitive buttons, your life will be miserable and you will lose control.

Own your buttons! Realize that your buttons — your emotional reactions — are yours. You are responsible for managing them. Stop blaming external circumstance and other people. When you get angry, it's your doing. No external circumstance must necessarily induce anger.

Realize that buttons are arbitrary and can be excised from you psyche. What triggers one person doesn't trigger another person at all. Why is that? Because a button is a condition you set up within your identity. Buttons must also be actively enforced. If you stop enforcing it, you will stop experiencing the emotional reaction. Think back into your past. What things used to trigger you but now never do? Chances are you've already eliminated many of your worst buttons because they caused you so much pain.

In practice, dismantling a buttons is hard because it's a deeply ingrained habit, often dating back to traumatic childhood events. You will need a lot of practice to rewire your brain.

The biggest step for dismantling a button is to simply notice it. Bring your awareness to your emotional reactions. Notice what these reactions are costing you. Don't judge yourself. Don't try to change yourself at first. Just notice your patterns. This alone can eliminate a button if you do it consistently.

References

1. IPEC