How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You

By Leo Gura - January 19, 2014 | 14 Comments

Follow these fundamental to become absolutely irresistible to guys. Attract him, seduce him, and keep him head-over-heels in love with you forever.

Video Transcript

Show Full Transcript Minimize Transcript

Hey, this is Leo for Actualized.org. In this quick self-help segment of about 10 minutes, I’m going to tell you how to make a guy fall in love with you.

This is an interesting topic for me because I’ve been involved in the pick-up community and have been doing a lot of advanced, deep-level personal development work on dating and social interaction with the opposite sex.

I’ve been learning about flirting and all of this amazing stuff. This is a fascinating topic to me.

From a girl’s perspective, if you want to keep a guy on the hook and keep him steady with you and become your boyfriend and fall in love with you, what you have to understand is male psychology and what guys like in girls.

You’ll find that this is invariable across most of the human male population. There are a couple of points.

First, if you want a guy to like you, you have to realize that guys are visual. Women are more emotional, more about comfort, and more about personality. Guys are visual.

I’m sorry to say – you have to take care of your looks. It doesn’t mean that you have to wear a ton of makeup or be fake, but you have to take care of your health. You have to take care of your weight. You have to take care of your hygiene.

Make sure that you’re nicely dressed and you have a sense of style. You have to have your weight handled. You have to be going to the gym and eating clean.

These are important things and they’re also beneficial to you because you should be doing these things anyway because you care about your health and hygiene.

Many girls don’t have this issue. Some girls do have this issue. It depends where you’re at.

I think that almost all guys are sensitive to weight. You have to take care of your weight and manage it because guys like healthy, fit girls. That’s just a fact. That’s our biology. That’s something that we’re drawn to. We can’t do anything about it.

Keep your weight in line. That’s very important.

You might be asking, “Well, what does that have to do with love? Love has nothing to do with physical appearance.” The problem is that, to a guy who has options, it’s important just like to you, for example, the personality of the guy is important.

You like a guy who’s humorous, adventurous, outgoing, and strong and who has a sense of command over life. The same argument can be made – “What does that have to do with love? What does personality have to do with love?”

The fact is that it’s just something you’re drawn to. Women are drawn to personality. Guys are drawn to physical appearance.

Try to make your physical appearance as decent as you can make it without bending over backwards. That’s important.

The next point is that you have to be sweet. I think most guys like a sweet girl who is caring and loyal to the guy. It’s hard to reject a girl like that. Be sweet and be outgoing like that.

Be kind to your guy. Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be too naggy. Guys hate it when you are nagging them all the time.

For guys, we want the connection and the intimacy, but a lot of guys don’t want too much of it. We also are independent-minded and we want to be out there and doing whatever it is that we’re doing. We don’t want to feel like we’re attached at the hip. We want our sense of independence.

A strong guy will want that. Any guy who you want to lock down is going to have that independence. That’s what you’re attracted to. You don’t want to smother him too much.

In fact, you want to play it a little bit cool and have things that you’re doing in your life that are not just revolving around the guy and getting the guy. Counter-intuitively, the best way to get the guy is to not want to get the guy so much. The guy will chase you, especially in the beginning.

He’ll chase you because guys are the pursuers in the beginning. It’s still always important to keep a little bit of that edge in the relationship. If it ever becomes too obvious or stale, then that sense of playfulness is lost.

Make sure that you have stuff that you’re doing and you’re not just sitting around and waiting for your guy. You have other friends who you’re hanging out with. You have things that you’re doing. The guy will see that. It will become very apparent in the way that you’re acting and communicating and in how much you want to see him.

All of that is going to show, in very subtle ways, and the guy is going to pick up on that. When he sees that you’re actually out there and doing stuff and you’re not so desperate to have a guy in your life, he’ll chase you a little bit. That’s going to be the ideal situation for you. Keep that in mind.

Make sure that your life is interesting. Have friends and activities that you’re doing. That’s always attractive. That’s attractive both to guys and to girls.

Girls want guys to be doing stuff on their own and guys want girls to be out there and doing stuff on their own. Nobody wants somebody who sits home all day and is boring and has no life. People want somebody who’s more attractive and has something going for themselves and has a future ahead of them. That’s important.

The other way to attract a guy is with great sex. Guys are sexual. We want to be in relationships that offer us great sex.

Make sure that you know how to do good sex. Read up on it. Study it. Practice it. Do whatever you have to do. Make sure that you’re satisfying your guy and that he is getting his kicks from it.

To me, that’s the best part of the relationship. It’s all about making the sex awesome. I pride myself in learning how to do that stuff and mastering sex.

You have to master the whole sexual realm and it’s a much deeper topic than Cosmo makes it out to be. You can go out there and buy information products that will teach you how to become good at sex. They’re amazing things and will help you take sex to a whole new level.

Most people don’t realize how deep sex goes. They just have boring vanilla sex. They’re not exploring their sexuality and their relationships get stale because after you have normal sex for a few months, it tends to get boring.

You want to keep it spiced up. Learn different techniques. Be adventurous. Have sex in different places and be a little bit sexually aggressive with your guy.

I think that as guys, we like that. Sometimes, when a girl is too submissive and expects the guy to do everything, then it feels like we’re just doing all of the work and we want sex to be initiated on us.

I know that that’s not always natural for girls, depending on what kinds of girl they are. However, I think that most guys like when you initiate sometimes and initiate in kinky and adventurous ways. We think, “Oh, damn, that’s cool! Most girls don’t do that.” It’s something rare, unique, and valuable that we are attracted to.

You asked the question about how to get a guy to fall in love with you and before you can get that, you have to get him attracted to you. What happens is that you get attraction and then that attraction will build to love fairly naturally as long as there aren’t any big obstacles in the way.

What I’m telling you is to try and clear up those major obstacles. One major obstacle might be appearance and hygiene. Another major obstacle might be that you don’t have the social life or the life that a guy would want in you if he’s looking for a long-term relationship or girlfriend. Another thing might be that the sex isn’t up to his standards and he’s not thrilled with that and he’s looking in other places.

If you just remove those roadblocks, it’s going to naturally happen. Just make sure that you’re doing more than the average girl.

If the average girl is not looking at these areas in her life and working on them and fixing them, then the guy will eventually get bored with her or he’ll find faults. Then that process of falling in love will either take longer, will be rockier, will have problems, or it won’t happen.

If all the roadblocks are removed and you have all the fundamentals down and he’s attracted to you, there’s sexual chemistry, and there’s intimacy, then it will naturally lead to where you want it to go. It’s pretty simple. It’s not that complicated.

You also have to go out there and socialize. If you’re not finding enough of the kinds of guys that you want to start that whole process – because you have to start here. You don’t start with love. You start with an acquaintanceship and then it builds up to love.

Make sure that you have this part of your life handled, too. That means going out with your friends, going out to bars, going out to clubs, and being more receptive to guys or maybe even approaching guys. Sometimes, that’s attractive, too. If a girl approaches a guy, that can work.

Although, just being receptive and being attractive will get you natural approaches, as long as you’re in an environment where that can happen. If you’re sitting at home or hanging around the same friends all of the time and you are in places where there aren’t many people, then what are the chances of you meeting somebody? They’re not very high.

You can dramatically improve your chances by going out there and moving in new social circles and going to places that are crowded and where other people can see you, meet you, and approach you. Then that process will develop very naturally.

That’s how to make a guy fall in love with you. Go ahead and leave your comments for me. I’d like to hear what you have to say on this topic and what you thought of some of my thoughts and anything that you’d like to critique. I’m sure there may be some critiques here.

Go ahead and “like” this and share this. If you feel like you want to do extra deep work on this and you want not just a guy to fall in love with you, but also find your ideal guy and lock it down – and not only lock it down, but be able to manage it for a long time – come check out Actualized.org and some of our more advanced personal development concepts that we cover there.

To do that, which I know is what you want because that’s what guys want, too, you have to work at it. You have to do personal development and you have to work out kinks in your personality to smooth yourself out so that you can manage a relationship well. I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to do that work.

We have to do it as guys. Girls have to do it as girls. You can’t take that stuff for granted. Otherwise, what’s going to happen is that you’re going to have relationships, but you’re going to find yourself self-sabotaging them or doing things that are putting roadblocks in the way. That might ultimately lose you the good guys that you’re running into.

That’s going to do it. This is Leo signing off. Go ahead and check out Actualized.org and also sign up for the newsletter.

Tip Jar
Tip Jar
Like this video?
Leave a tip
Amount
Come join the Actualized.org Forum! Meet like-minded people & transform your life.
Comments
(14)
Sue says:

Hi Leo.

A woman can be the hottest chic out here and still get dumped if she doesn’t love and be independent of herself … I always wondered why woman let themselves go in relationship? Shit hits the fan when you get divorced and have to start all over. It’s hard but the challenge to regain who you we’re is so worth it…

Leo Gura says:

Yes, of course you gotta take care of yourself, both physically and mentally.

Betty says:

I am actually disappointed in this post. I don’t think it’s titled correctly it should be “what attracts the average man”. I understand that all these things are important but the pieces but different people are attracted to different things (especially on a physical level). I think all of this looks good in paper but if you don’t have a connection with someone it’s doesn’t really matter. This to me is means you must have all you shit perfectly together before even begin to start dating. This wasn’t helpful at to me and seemed like you needed to deeper because this video is very shallow.

Leo Gura says:

This is actually good news. Because connections develop very easily once the “shallow” stuff is taken care of. At this point I literally feel I can develop an amazing connection with almost any woman, but the problem is I don’t find many of them attractive enough physically, or they don’t meet my standards because they don’t have their lives together. The connection is the easy part. It tends to happen automatically.

Josie says:

Fantastic video. Any advice on a good sex book? There are thousands out there!

Irina says:

Pretty please can WE have the title of THE book? … can be a very nice Christmas gift ;

Cyan K says:

funny, I live up to all those things and more, independence, looks, lots of social circles, I’m sweet and sexually exciting and adventurous… and he acknowledges all of those things….., you say that’s what guys want….
except the assholes….the players…..
I walk away,and they keep coming back….could it be that an alpha asshole could be on the fence with this behavior? Why would that asshole keep coming back….my guy sent me your video of why girls fall for assholes, to explain himself…..3 months after we said goodbye.

Vella says:

Hi Leo,
Love all your videos, very informative. I have an odd question for you. I started seeing a guy, we have amazing sex, both of us are always I to it. After 2 months he said he wanted to friends with benefits. I said ok for some dumb reason….be that as it is, we have been still seeing each other for 10 months now, about every 2 weeks. He lives 2 hours away. We have given each other’s gifts for birthdays, he has called me once on the phone. We chat a lot on internet also. He had a medical emergency and I told him last time he was here even if he had to keep me a secrecy I deserved to be informed of extreme emergencies. He got angry and said ” you are not a secrect” . I am wondering how to change our ” relationship” from FWB back to possible forever…do you think there is a way? I go about my daily life and do not pester him about this but I want more….
Thanks for any response

Lizzie says:

This is hard for me to buy into. Especially on the weight issue. If we look a numeric, i should be obese but i’m not. I extremely muscular and weight more than an average girl and complements on how i dress from other women and have had more than one guy SHOCKED about my insecurities about my weight and appearance.

I see my weight as terrible and actually lost former asshole BF as result of what he claimed to be “weight” issues and failure to take care of myself. His fiancee dropped about 60lbs in under a year. she was much heavier than me to begin with.

The hot chicks aren’t the first ones picked up at bars. its usually the average “cool” girl that guys run for from my experience, which is why in ceratian cities I have no trouble meeting and keeping relationships together. As with many relationships, if i know it’s not the guy i won’t waste my or his time but the emphasis on weight vs. appearance is huge here.

Mila says:

Hi,

Do you have a organized way or plan to follow in order to obtain personal growth?

I love the videos, but there is so much information!

Thanks,

Mila

tashu says:

even after sex do uh think he will fall in love i mean if he had to do time pass with me he dont love me can i make him love me ?

Gina says:

I love this this is very helpful but I do have a question. Sometimes I don’t know when it’s time for me to slow my roll or just move on… For instance I’m dating a very mindful independent person who only seems to want to see me once a week maybe twice (in the beginning)I feel like I inhibit all of these qualities. I work out, eat clean I have my own life I have hobbies I have my set of friend sand I have a good amount of confidence…This person likes these things about me and praises me for it (going as far as telling me that I make him nervous) I’m used to guys wanting to spend way more time with me than that ( of course that gets old) so when the few guys I’ve meet ( who are working on their personal development like me) don’t I usually end up ditching them because I don’t think they’re interested since they only seem to want to see me once or twice per week. Maybe it’s just something I’m not used to so I need to stop being a brat about it and give them a chance but it’s hard for me not to it’s hard for me to distinguish if they’re not interested vs independent man is trying to maintain the pace with me and The things in their life to help them for fill their full potential …. Does that make sense ; can anyone help me with that?

Mulan says:

hey Leo, your content is super awesome! when are you going to release articles about long distance relationships?

Mona says:

I found this to be very educating.

I realized i did not know enough about the male psycology. After seeing this I realized i have been trying to understand my man from the female perspective/psykoligy (wich has NOT been working). We are in a tough spot at the moment and have some issues we are adressing. I have seen alot of your videoes at this point, and I would like to thank you for all your advice! From different videoes i have learned that I have some issues within myself that is actually ruining my relationship(s) and preventing me from living the life I want. I just wish I had looked for this knowledge at an earlier stage

Leave a Comment
Name*
E-mail*
Website
What color are lemons?*