Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life
By Leo Gura - March 17, 2014 | 14 Comments
The deep challenge of building an extraordinary life, and what you’ll have to do to really make it happen.
Big Ideas
The Problem of Life
- The question is: how do you actually create that dream life?
- What is the dream life? You know what it is. It’s that highest ambition you had for yourself before life beat it out of you.
- Everyone tries to live big at some point, but almost no one succeeds. Why?
- I remember hearing an old story that will help us understand what’s going on.
Story of the Old Lady and the Wolf
- A long time ago there was a village just outside the woods.
- In this village lived a simple old lady.
- One night the old lady goes out into the woods to run a chore.
- As she wanders through the woods, suddenly, a giant blood-thirsty wolf jump out in front of her.
- The wolf’s jaws are wide open and his fangs are glaring. The wolf is just about to maul her.
- Having nothing in her hands to fend off the wolf, the old lady is absolutely terrified. Even a grown man couldn’t handle this wolf alone.
- So what does she do? The only thing she can: she reaches out and grabs the wolf hard by the tongue.
- She pulls out the wolf’s tongue past his teeth and starts walking towards the village.
- When she finally gets back to the village with the wolf, one of the men clubs him to death over the head.
- Old Lady: 1, Wolf: 0
Moral of the Story
- So what does this story tell us?
- Simple: you either go all-in, or you’re fucked!
- And what does this have to do with the problem of creating a dream life?
- Simply: You are the old lady! And the harshness of life is that wolf. You either go all-in and face your fears, or you are dead.
- The only reason you’re not living your dream life is because you’re too afraid. You keep telling yourself that life is dangerous and that you must be cautious.
- Caution is okay is some cases, but not when you have a wolf in your face about to maul you.
- Think about it, what would have happened if that old lady hesitantly reached out for the wolf’s mouth?
- And what would have happened if that old lady let up for even a second while she was dragging him back to the village?
- Right! He would have bitten off her hand!
Going Beyond Tricks and Techniques
- Many of my videos give you small tips and tricks that you can use to patch up some part of your life.
- I get it, you want a quick fix that will make everything all better and comfy.
- I love giving you little techniques, but that’s not ultimately what I’m here to do.
- I want to show you how to create a transformational, extraordinary life, and I’m kidding about that.
- To do this, I need you to buy into the idea that you’re going to live your life BIG!
- This goes waaaaay beyond techniques.
- If you’re going to half-ass your life, you will get mauled, and it will be painful.
- You MUST be all-in. You MUST go full-out.
Looking For A Quick-Fix
- Stop looking for the quick-fix. Stop looking for the one secret technique.
- When you do that, you’re not building an extraordinary life, you’re just maintaining mediocrity.
- Sometimes I get criticism in my Youtube comments about some of my suggestions being too ambitious, too idealistic. The criticism is: “But this won’t work in the real world!”
- All of my suggestions work in the real world! But many of them won’t work if you half-ass it.
- You need to be committed to taking massive action and going above and beyond.
- Even though you might have landed on one of my videos hoping for a quick-fix, you’ve got to move past that idea and start getting on board with the big vision.
Idealism Is Underrated
- Remember back to a time when you were certain your life would be BIG.
- Perhaps it was back in school, or college, or even just a few years ago.
- But then what happened? Yeah, everyday life overwhelmed you. Somehow things slipped and slipped and slipped until you didn’t even bother looking back.
- But I’m here to tell you that you’ve lost sight of the big picture and it’s time to get back on the horse.
- Your problem is not that you’re thinking too big, it’s that you are thinking too small!
- The reason you need all these little patches to maintain your crappy little life is because you’ve been thinking too small for too long, and whatever you think, you get.
- When you start to think big, many of your petty problems will naturally dissolve.
- The common objection is: “But that’s too idealistic, unrealistic!”
- It’s not unrealistic if you commit to growing yourself. The only reason you think it’s unrealistic is because you are a small person.
- What you’re not facing up to is the courage that you lack to live big. But this can be fixed if you commit.
- Being idealistic is good. Being idealistic is also hard. Being idealistic requires fearlessness.
It Won’t Be Easy
- If I could wish for you to have one personal characteristic that would guarantee your success, it would fearlessness.
- Stop looking for easy. What I’m talking about is going be to challenging. But it’s also going to be incredibly rewarding.
- You will have times when you will want to quit. You will have times when you will want to cry yourself to sleep in a fetal position on your couch.
- But that’s okay, because this is not what’s really sad. This is a noble way of life.
- What’s really sad is living the crappy little life that you are living right now.
- Working your ass off for something big isn’t sad, that’s the glory of life. And it’s also the only way you will be happy.
The Dangerous World
- My ideas and strategies can seem like wishful thinking, but everything I share with you is extremely practical and field-tested.
- The real problem is that you’ve been conditioned into pessimism by your parents, society, media, friends, and your own past failures.
- Living a big life in modern society is unnatural.
- A big life is unnatural and rare simply because it’s much easier and more comfortable to be mediocre. And besides, all your friends are doing it.
- If you don’t stay conscious, if you aren’t deliberate, if you don’t set very clear objectives, then you will just roll with the flow and become mediocre.
Understanding The Real Risk
- One of the worst assumptions that we pick up when growing up is that life is dangerous.
- When you believe that, you start to be cautious and timid. You stop making bold decisions and start straddling fences.
- If the world is dangerous, then you start following the herd. You stop questioning your religion, your friends, your culture, your government, your parents.
- This assumption runs so deep that it keeps you from reaching out and grabbing that wolf by the tongue.
- Imagine how you would live your life if you were fully conscious of that fact that your life will be over in the snap of a finger.
- 1/3rd, 1/2, 2/3rds of your life are already over. All you’ve got left is about 20-50 years, at the most.
- Right now, somewhere in your life you are telling yourself that you are more safe by holding back and being conservative rather than going all-in.
- If you go all-in, you will be scared. And you don’t like to feel scared, you like to feel comfy.
- But actually, the greatest risk isn’t going all-in, it’s not committing to anything.
- If you don’t commit, your life trajectory is very easy to predict: you will peter out like a dud firework that never bursts.
- Where is the bang, the spark, the flash in your life?
- I know that you are holding yourself back because even after all the years of hard work that I’ve done on myself, I still hold myself back.
Enough Is Enough
- I don’t know about you, but I want to live a big life.
- I’m sick and tired of hold myself back. I want to give my all, and if it doesn’t work, so what? At least I will die in peace.
- How miserable will I be on my deathbed if I give life a half-assed attempt?
- Here’s the thing. You are either going to have one of two types of death: an instant death or a slow, drawn out death.
- If you are living a mediocre life, you better hope for instant death in a car or plane crash, so you don’t have time to reflect on your weak decisions.
- But chances are you will have a slow death, where you see yourself slowly age and decay into listlessness. Oh, man, is that going to be painful for you.
- As you slowly decay, you will regret so deeply that you didn’t reach out and grab that wolf by the tongue.
- You’re going to wonder, “Why was I so afraid? What’s so bad that would have happened?”
- And at this ripe old age you’re going to be wise enough to see that had you just been a little more fearless, you would have accomplished something amazing.
The Real Danger
- The real danger of life is not that you will get injured, or your family will be threatened, or someone robs you, but that you hear my message and take no action.
- Is massive pain and regret what you want in your life?
- Now is the time to ask yourself what you want out of your life. If not now, then when?
- Are you going to commit to transforming your life and doing whatever it takes?
- I can guarantee you that it will take everything you’ve got right now, and much much more.
- This won’t be easy, but it will be rewarding.
- If you’re not willing to commit to self-actualize, to share your greatest gifts, to live to your full potential, then you are already dead.
Bottom Line: Commit to doing whatever it takes to build an extraordinary life. Grab the wolf by the tongue. Go all-in!
shawn says: You mentioned in this video near the end “the worse thing we could do is say we are going to commit then watch another video, then another, then watch tv etc”
I am just getting started with changing my life at 40years young. Personal Trainer for 20years, just diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I have lost many jobs, in trouble with the law etc. Yet I have also trained Olympic Athletes, Worked with the Vancouver Canucks 1998, 99 and 2001, and worked on “The Thirteenth Warrior” Training Cast and Crew to name a few successes for myself in the industry. Yet I have always self sabotaged.
My Question is, when do we know it is time to ACT. I feel I need to watch more vids and soak up more info, don’t act to hastily etc etc. I know what I am doing now is taking action… Does the next step just come to us?
I am working on changing my Subconscious Limiting Beliefs thoughts and behaviours and love what I am learning on your site.
I hope I wasn’t just babbling and that you understand my question.
Kindest Regards,
Shawn.
Leo Gura says: Wow, that’s cool! I remember 13th Warrior! Sounds like you’ve got a lot of accomplishments already and are just doing a realignment.
But, you’re right, sometimes it’s necessary to take some quiet time to reflect and plan. Planning can be a form of action. Even inaction can be a form of action: like taking a 2-week vacation to recharge your creative batteries after a long stint of hard work. Watching a lot of videos can be action. I mean, my videos aren’t exactly LOLcats and the like. This information is worth millions of dollars and is also very sobering and nourishing for the soul. So you should watch it all if you’re smart.
Deep down your gut knows when you are using videos or planning or vacation time as a procrastination technique. So follow your gut!
Semira says: Wonderful!
Thank you Leo.
ILAN Zyl says: You have a way of declutering our thinking patterns.
Your way of explaining the ‘lost in space’ feeling in our everyday life is wonderful.
Relating by example to our every day thoughts and events is a remarkably effective way of following your drift. Yes, many of us do catastrophise our situations perhaps in an attempt to seem a little less boring to our friends.
But this is the quickest way to self sabotage our true potential.
We’ll, I’d better light a cracker under my back side and get on with the business
of getting on.
Your video ‘ what it takes to create an extraordinary life’ certainly pushed my buttons. We’ll done.
Your contribution is an inspiration to many.
Thanks
ILAN
BL says: Damnnnnnn every time I hear you talk about how short life is, it hits me hard like a ton of bricks.
jervin says: Hi Leo! thank you very much! you change my life! I am filipino, 23 yrs old. I’m so glad that I found your site. Thanks a lot!
jervin says: 1. How to study
2. Increase your result from self-help by x10
3. How to stay focused
4. Setting goals
5. SMART goal
6. Life purpose
7. how to stay healty
8. True value/Top ten values
9. Time management
10. Visualization
11. How to motivate myself
my lists of goal as for now
1. Stay healty
2. English grammar
and that is all for now.. your a life changing sir leo.
thank you so much
Novella says: Leo another great video , and you are right, I was one person who stupidly believed that my porpouse in life was going to come to my mind by miracle …
I found you in internet the March 13 2015 since then I meditate every day, every day I do a series of affermations, I’m discovering my limiting beliefs,I enrolled in two courses because I want to learn and see if new ideas will come, I started to care more about my out look,I’m working on having more social life, I spend most of my internal time choosing the right thoughts …
Therefore I thank you very very much for your great help and very effective work you are doing for us !!!!!!!!!
Much love from Milan Italy
kumar shubham says: Leo,
i need a help on this..
i am wiling to do whatever it takes to create an extraordinary life for me,
that is far more beneficial for the world… but the problem is…
LET ME GET IT STRAIGHT….
please list down the things that are skeleton to really build up that kind of life..
i am a student and about to get out of my high school, and get into a college.
PLEASE LEO , REPLY I AM DESPERATE ON THIS…
brian says: Hey Leo,
I wanted your opinion on a certain topic. I read alot about self help and watch alot of seminars. Lately i have watched some stuff on Les Bowen and Tim Robbins and for some reason it just does not feel genuine. When i watch your videos i feel a connection, i feel like you get deep into topics. When i watch their videos it seems like they are going for entertainment and comedy. I try to keep an open mind and not judge, but i was wondering if that could be an issue with me, or is it possible that i just like your style of teaching. I am going to become a Dr. of Psychology, but i do not want to teach the methods i am being taught. I was wondering what you think about teaching your methods to my clients. You have me believing in them, so i do not understand why it would not work for other people. I do not want to be the counselor that tells you want you want to hear. I believe that you have 2 choices you either deal with your problem, or you let your problem run you life. I think people get babied to open. It is good to have empathy. But they do not want to deal with their issues because they are painful. You are going to have the issues regardless, so why not deal with them and make them go away. It has been hard to find people inspire me.
raluca says: you are saving my life Leo, you are literally saving my life
Max Gron says: Thanks for grabbing me by the throat to live an “extraordinary” life, what Leo feels about this is unsatisfied, if he was happy he would be lazy or sit on his chair watching reruns of “Seinfeld”, yes, I know the American psyche, subconsciously it’s about rebellion against Britain.