Be Fucking Patient!

By Leo Gura - June 27, 2016 | 42 Comments

How to deal with lack of results

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Mary says:

You give so many high-yield techniques, I can’t use all of them at once.

But I’ve developed myself a routine. The things I’m doing this month:

1) 25 mins meditation
2) The acceptence visualization (25 mins)
3) 5 mins affirmation (I’m completely independent of the good or bad opinion of others)

Thanks Leo. I’ll try to keep it up regardless of the result.

Adrian says:

This video is a must. Great foundational insights that is essential to breakthrough the plateaus that come with any endeavor. I Look forward to your weekly videos Leo. Thanks.

Gene says:

Leo is right, patience is the absolute key.
I see so many people quit prematurely because they feel they’re not getting anywhere.
It took me 30-years to change career and get a job related to my passion.
It’s also important to ignore discouragement from other people.
You will realise at some stage that this is the one factor holding you back and when you do, you wonder why you have always been so sensitive to it.

Frank says:

I guess it is due to some illussions of the ego

hi LEO, I found your email by accident.. Even though I know inherently that nothing happens by “accident”…. I have been having a series of lets say “disappointments” in my life recently.. and so tonight I used my “Scooby Ears and Eyes” to stumble across your message!
And it made so much sense… because I had a feeling of deja vu..Similar to when I had been introduced to TONY ROBBINS after having being trapped in a fire carried out in a body bag.. then to be resuscitated back to life by a EMT who damaged my voice box by improperly inserting a trachea tube.. ending my dreams of being the next Gordon Lightfoot!!

I Lost my job, my wife filed divorce, filed bankruptcy twice!

Now I have appeared on 13 different TV stations across the US (including LA , and Chicago plus 3 times in Rochester, NY)! I am an AMAZON number 1 best seller nationally and internationally, host the “From Flawed to Fantastic” Radio Show on the TBI network, where I have interviewed people from all walks of life…..

And more….

And have had to deal with this issue of patience up till now when I stumbled across your video.

I now know why I’ve struggled for years and still go on with my idea about sharing my secret ability of being able to turn tragedy into triumph and flip the hero switch despite the obstacles that the Universe seems to put in my way..

I would be honored if you would be my special guest on an upcoming time slot of my show.. and if you are not available for some reason I would like your permission to play the audio portion on an episode some time in the immediate future!

Please get back to me..

Fantastic Frank

Leo Gura says:

For interviews & business inquiries, see the contact page.

Alex says:

Leo

Does it make it worse or better to feel sick of being average? Sick of 9 to 5, sick of being mediocre sick of OK relationships. Feeling like this won’t do this isn’t enough. Getting so fucking angry at myself that it’s not even funny? Felling like, fuck it, fuck this shit. I want it all or nothing; and I mean everything or I’m gonna shoot my self in the fucking head.
But not having the faintest clue about where to start.
Have you ever felt this way leo? Because I do.

Leo Gura says:

That can be a good kick in the ass, motivation-wise. Sometimes you need to rudely awaken yourself to your own crapulence ;)

And then you begin building healthy habits, one at a time, in a patient way. Otherwise all your anger will just be noise and you’ll not change a thing.

Tony says:

Hey Leo,

Interesting video. Almost a year ago now (I think) I watched your video on how to stop judging. And you prescribed awareness basically as the cure for judging everything. So I’ve been trying to just notice my judgements and not judge the fact that I’m judging. Just be aware of it. The thing is, either now I’m just finally aware of how much judging I do or the awareness approach has actually made me more judgmental. It seems I’m judging crap a lot more. Am I just becoming aware of how much judging I had always been doing or does the exponential curve sometimes start by dropping down instead of being flat for a while?

Leo Gura says:

When it comes to consciousness work you’ll be facing many negative zones where you will feel like you’re moving backwards rather than forwards. It’s sort of like trying to build a shiny new skyscraper on top of a dilapidated building. You first have to disassemble the old building. That old building is YOU, so it’s quite a challenge.

Ryan Fisler says:

I am glad I gave this video a chance LEO.
It’s me… the enlightenment critic guy who sometimes goes on rants to you about how I hate how your focus shifted from mastery and achievement of goals (traditional success) to enlightenment.

I stopped watching for a while and been tuning into Burchard and Vanderchuk messages as they seemed more in line with what I am trying to do with my life.

But i got the email for this one, and something told me give the old LEO another shot because I like it when he swears. I seen the video was 44 minutes and I almost said fuck it because I like my self improvement vids to fall under 30 minutes, aint nobody got time for that LEO! :) But I followed through and watched the whole thing and it was a great video.

Surprisingly it matched up almost perfectly with an insight i had myself a few days before while doing the dishes. I was calling it the “backlog concept” which then ties into “the learning curve”. Whereas basically at the beginning of anything you want to do, it is so much harder then when you get going for different reasons. In one case, like my dishes, if I let them go for too long, there is so many of them, it is so hard to even get started and even when i start washing them and getting some results I am using them and not really getting anywhere but if I can fight through that initial pain and have patience and i think even more important “discipline” which is the same thing really… then once I complete through the “backlog” the maintenance of the dishes afterwards is so much easier. Its like this in getting our lives together in so many areas.. We have been depressed and fucked up for so long that everything is a damn mess, like you said, in the negative.. so to even get to the baseline is a massive struggle but getting there is the dip you are talking about where it then starts to shoot up. Its clearing the backlog. Too many of us see the initial pain of trying to do the backlog and not getting far as the actual difficulty of the project, but its not, its the difficulty of the backlog. So we give up because we say fuck it, I can never keep up to doing this, this is so fuckign much, its too hard.. Because our brains do not intuitively make the distinction between the difficulty of the backlog and the difficulty of keeping going once the backlog is clear… or clearing the negative as you would put it.

Its the same thing with learning something new, but replace “Backlog” with “learning curve”. In the beginning stages of learning a new skill, it can be difficult once you get past the basics to find any progress, you reach the first plateau. Too many of us associate this difficulty of learning at this stage with the actual difficulty of learning the skill and so we give up because we think to ourselves “this is too fucking hard, fuck it”. We fail to realize that once we get our stride and we stay patient and disciplined and keep grinding away at the plateau that the thing will fucking break and like you said it then just starts magically flowing in abundance and our learning rate takes off to new heights. IT really does get easier the farther you go. Yes you reach more plateaus. But the next plateaus are so much easier then the first one for the simple reason that your brain can rationalize better that the difficulty of this plateau will not always be this hard once you break it since you already did that process on the same skill.

Too many of us give up on learning new things, or on getting our shit together because when faced with the initial difficulty of doing so, we erroneously attribute that difficulty to the entire project or skill and make a judgement that we should give up when if we understood better that the difficulty goes away eventually we would be more persistent.

You helped me really make clear and reinforce the thoughts I was independently having about the same concept and I found that cool.

SO I’m back now LEO. You stuck with me. But I’m skipping the damn enlightenment vids bro. :)

Your favourite commenter.

Ryan

Leo Gura says:

Hurry up and finish your business already, so you can see that it won’t change anything significant for you.

Then you’ll be ready for some real growth ;)

Ryan Fisler says:

I actually do meditation every day. Even though I know for a fact it actually reduces my performance at competitive endeavours that require quick thinking. I did a trial for over 6 months of one week on meditating and one week off and absolutely astounding clear results were that I had an almost 100% increase in performance on average on the weeks i did not medidate. Also on a week to week basis the mediitation week NEVER once had better result then the preceding non meditation week. A flawed study im sure but significant to me. I still medidate because i find the improvement in overall mental health necessary and outweighing the decreased performance. That being said i do not seek any enlightenment or ego death or any of that yogi garbage I simply do it for the calming effects.

Leo Gura says:

That’s like saying that you go to the gym once in a while, and on the days you go, you feel tired and sore after, and your performance is decreased.

When you don’t treat meditation seriously, you get what you got.

Carrie says:

Hi Leo,

Wow, you could not have put this video out in better timing. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. It’s like you read my mind! Lol. I have a tendency to create unrealistic expectations for my future, especially when it comes to starting my own business and emotional healing.

I also wanted to let you know that the meditation that you’ve been doing and working so hard on is transforming you into a beautiful enlightened individual. I’ve watched your videos for at least the last year and a half and I can tell you that you seem a lot happier, patient and fulfilled in your life. You’re not even the same person anymore. And I especially started to notice your beautiful transformation after you did the meditation video. Those six hours of straight meditation you did really got you very far. You look so happy and your face is glowing with love for life, and light. I also wanted to say I am so proud of you if you haven’t heard from anybody else already. And I hold you with the highest and upmost respect. I consider you to be my personal life coach even though you are not currently offering personal life coaching at this time. I trust in your guidance and your advice and it has taken me so far on my life journey. Thank you so much for giving your heart and your passion to all of these people. You give so much and I want you to know it really means a lot to me and everyone here. Words cannot describe the changes you have created for this world. You have made a place in this world, and have created a lasting impression. Your hard work has paid off. I pray that you find enlightenment soon, if you haven’t already!

With much love and light,
Carrie

Leo Gura says:

Thanks for the kind words :)

Yael Bolender says:

Ten years ago, my son’s and my goal was to move from France to the US. We did it, and ten years later, we are still in the US. But still in an uncertain situation regarding this immigration. I am waiting for an answer if I am allowed to stay two more years, and my son is simply not allowed to stay. I always said that if he was not allowed to stay, I wouldn’t stay either. So I already had my plan B: going to England, because I love England and no need for a visa (for now). But the Brexit happened, we don’t know what’s next, and my son is not super excited with England.
I understood a while ago that I should focus on my art and not on immigration. So, I will maybe end up in Ireland or maybe Scotland if they get their independence in one year or two… But my son and I, we are a little confused, because he can’t project himself outside the US, he basically finished to grow up here, and I am following the British news to know where will be my next move.
I fortunately started two years ago videos on YouTube so I could do them everywhere.
But I am wondering: should my son persist in his dream, knowing that the chances are very slim, or on contrary, should he focus on his music and accept a plan B, even if it is not mine, to actually do what he is meant to do?
Should I accept to chose Ireland instead of England to do my Art? Or should I compose with the present uncertain situation and still go to England, knowing that I risk to face new immigration issues?
Basically, we are both lost about what’s next. I am rather optimistic because I have a lot of possibilities, but my son is starting his grown-up life, he has no real job and he has so much to take in consideration…
I try to talk with him to know what he has in his mind, but he doesn’t talk much and is in a complete denial…
We are both a little confused here…
Just to let you know: going back to France is not an option, for many, many reasons (we don’t owe any taxes or didn’t do anything wrong, just a not right political and social situation that we don’t like, too much negativity there).

Leo Gura says:

Sounds like you’re taking your eye off the ball. Find your life purpose and stick to it. Where you live is not really important. However that plays out, it shouldn’t matter if you’re on track with your life purpose.

Be very vigilant of distractions like this.

Yael Bolender says:

I know you are right. That is basically what I am trying to explain to my son.
However the fact that France is not an option, is because of the increasing antisemitic problems there. I staid in Paris as much as I could handle it, until I couldn’t anymore. That is why I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to take that risk, I don’t trust them there.
To do my purpose in life, I need to be in a place where that doesn’t matter at all, because it is not even a problem.
Hence the reason why we choose carefully our place, but I think that Ireland will be perfect for us, they look really nice and relaxed, exactly what I want. Good music too…
Thank you for your answer.

Lin says:

This is exactly what I needed! At the right time!

I started a middle life new project — starting a personal finance business. It is soooo hard, at the beginning stage. I worry about result so much.

Do it long term. Look at it from the big picture– does it worth it? If it is worth it! Go for it!

Take action! Put in the work!!

neil byrne says:

im a complete newbie, so this video was super helpful to me, words cant even begin to describe how great this video was for me. thanks so much leo

Cov says:

Hey Leo, thanks for another great video!

It’s been about eight months since I started following you and the patience required for this work is pretty difficult.

You’ve been saying that for the first couple years this work has some pretty rocky ground, so I was wondering, for yourself, how long did it take for you to hit the knee of the curve and really see that this stuff translates into real results?

I think I’m improving but the returns have been so little after so much effort I’m struggling to keep faith that I’ll improve to the point where this begins to translate into something more tangible.

Any feedback from yourself or anyone else is greatly appreciated.

Leo Gura says:

It’s hard to quantify.

Personally I’ve seen improvement all along, even though the first few years of the journey were filled with lots of self-doubt and struggle.

And now I’m seeing results that are unbelievable and impossible to put into words.

The trick is not to be in it for results, but for something higher.

Cov says:

Thanks Leo!
I really appreciate you taking the time to reply :)

It’s hard because I can’t even imagine something higher, but I still have a strong intuition it’s there. I’m also extremely rationally minded so faith is difficult.

Ahh I know I’ll figure it out.
Thanks for being an amazing example Leo, you’ve pulled my ass out of a dark place many times. I hope to be able to do the same for another someday soon :)

Leo Gura says:

You’re not being asked to take anything on faith here.

Paula says:

Hi Leo!

What about when you are at the end of the project, just about to finish and self sabotage starts?.

Im finishing my phd thesis and i feel like im sabotaging evey aspect of my life.

how can i be patient with a dead line over my head!!!!

P.

Leo Gura says:

Sounds like you need to start a meditation habit.

You’re taking your eye of the ball. Your PhD thesis will come and go. Meditation — mastering your mind — is worth more than 10 PhD’s.

Marina says:

Man, this is an absolute jewel on the path of self development and something we need to be reminded of every single day! We live in a world where instant gratification is glorified. No wonder we want results this instant! We disregard all joy and deep fulfilment that comes from work that is required for anything we want to achieve. You want nice, fresh and healthy home made meal, well you need some work into that. But instead enjoying that work, the process of creation and the joy and satisfaction that comes out as an emotional result, we become impatient and want that meal done in 15 minutes. Of course that’s not possible, sonwe become frustrated and angry and reach for unhealthy fast food meal. How we do anything is how we do everything, so if we are impatient in one area we are actually impatient in all areas of our life.
Thank you Leo, once again a great video!

Aleem says:

Hi Leo,

This Video has motivated me a lot, Thanks for that, it is a must watch for everyone who is looking for success.

I usually watch your video not just once but many times, over and over and over, to grasp the full content, and I watch it with complete focus, your videos have helped me understand myself better. Thanks a lot :).

Aleem

Stanley says:

This is the fourth time I listen to this video.

I am facing a major new project (life long) / business at my midlife age. It is really tough! I haven’t put in enough effort. Even with extraordinary effort it takes time to get result. Lots of people quit!!!!!

I want to start my day with Leo’s wisdom one more time. It is a pleasure!

Thank you!

King says:

Greetings from the Far far away land, China
I trust Leo.
He is one of the most intelligent AND authentic (trailblazing, breaking “normal” rules) role model.
Please buy his finding your passion program. Best investment in your personal and professional growth.
I am not related to Leo in any way shape or form. Just a huge and loyal fan. One thing he shared are not in Tony Robbins’ (no one can have and done it all).

Thank you Leo, my mentor and my remote master influencer.

Louise says:

Leo,
I’m with you!
Have been for nearly a year.
As I view you as my sort of badcop, it’s been incredibly comforting to watch this.
Many people in my profession have told me that ‘I’m trying too hard’ but you’re the first to give practical advice
, or it’s the first time I’ve really understood it anyway.
Thanks for all, and thanks for the helpful questions.
Have a good week.

Michael says:

Agreed, many wisdom Leo figured out and shared beat other guru’s.

I relate a lot to Leo’s teaching because I also come from very educated background.

Ken fraley says:

Leo my comments would not submit , what are special characters

Leo Gura says:

Brackets, code characters, at-marks, etc. Remove all those from your comment.

Dane LaMothe says:

Thank you.

Ken fraley says:

Leo I discovered your video by accident on u tube and I have watched several of them and want to know how I should go about using your content. For example should I watch all of the videos frist? Psychology and having awareness is an intriguit part off my options trading business. I do do transcendental meditation 2 times a day it helps with being consciousness .although felt like a sucker paying a 1000 dollar to the David Lynch foundation . I have several neurosis.

phil compain says:

Hey Leo,

Really enjoyed your video this week. So relevant to my life right now-5 months into my new start up business in real estate. Frustration, unrealistic expectations, mistakes, lack of results, income and patience have thwarted me along my journey but your advice and guidance and suggestions are like a breath of fresh air-and the timing is perfect. Thanks Leo, appreciate all that you are doing with your “en point” videos:-)!!!! Keep up the good work!

mick merasty says:

wow tip jar leo fuck thats great, fucking hilarious, dont you get a shit ton of money anyhow
didnt know you needed that money that bad
ill drop a tip off one day when i get paid in the net month

Milos says:

When can I see the results with concentration at whats happening between three or four people talking. It seems to me that the rules are dramatically changed.
The peroid of time is suddenly quickly gone while my interest is being three or
four times potentially capable of taking adventage during talk.
The rules are ok Im ok with them but, simply cannot take seriousness as
practically quick at some levels.

Ozisoki says:

Hi Leo. Arrived to these insights as well but never really graduated to implementation. Good to hear these things from another person: vocalised and explicit. My ego can no longer deceive me that this is a marginal problem: it has overarching consequences for many aspects of my life. I am a Newbie and have a lot of deficiencies, chronic impatience is one of them. Man, it’s just this journey seems so daunting and long. But, as you said: massive action and patience. In one of your videos you talked about the extent that the ego deceives itself. Now, through this concrete example on patience I understand it much better. It’s not only that your ego says X is true when in fact X is not-true. It’s also that the ego heavily discounts the significance of ‘X is not true’ to the point that implementation doesn’t seem to be logical anymore coz the cost would largely outweigh the benefit. From this follows, that your mind plays such extensive tricks on you that it’s really quite hard to trust it that what it says is true. So in fact sometimes doing a thing that you think is stupid and non-rational is in fact the correct thing to do. It’s confusing to find out that my life is narrated by an unreliable narrator. But temporary confusion is a step-up from permanent blindsidedness. This insight is very important. It will help me to step on my implementation journey. I don’t want stay a Newbie my whole life, it would be a whole life wasted. Thanks Leo!!!

Manshuk says:

Sometimes I am patient and sometimes I am not…

I was doing meditation and self-inquiry quite long time already (on and off). The thing is my ego is so sensitive. If I am doing well whole 1 week (meditation, being conscious and all day activities are going well, I can observe my coming-going thoughts etc.) and then suddenly I failed in one activity or one old bad habit (let’s say drinking coffee which I am still trying to quit or being over jealous towards my bf when he looks at hot women on the street, strong negative thoughts about myself as I am failed etc. )I become neurotic, lazy and even depressed for whole following day or even a week sometimes…

I know that all these are outside events which trigger me…but it is happening all the time….it’s also maybe strong self-judgement..maybe I have a belief that failing is bad. I consciously understand that it’s failing is not bad and it’s okay. But my subconscious mind does not want to accept and still controls my Ego, controls me : (

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