An Insight About Connection that I got from Ayahuasca

[Emerald]

Every year in the Spring, I participate in an Ayahuasca ceremony. (In fact, I have my yearly ceremony next week)

And back in Spring of 2022, I received an insight from Ayahuasca that I'd like to share as it revealed to me a key ingredient to connection with other people, nature, and the universe at large.

That key ingredient to connection is ordinariness.

Up until that point, I had always gotten by by polarizing into my differences and becoming exceptional and extraordinary. And I always identified strongly with being a bit rebellious and strange. And I had valued being different and extraordinary since I was around 13 or so and was always seeking for ways to differentiate myself from others and to be be more and more unique.

And I would often have aversions to ordinariness. Like I'd feel really threatened at the prospect of being ordinary in relation to other people because I didn't like the idea of blending into a crowd.

Then, in this Ayahuasca ceremony the medicine brought  me through this process where I was oscillating (psychologically and emotionally) into two different states.

One state was more like my default state, where it would polarize me into extraoridnariness and uniqueness to the exclusion of ordinariness and averageness... and then it would bring me back into integration with ordinariness.

And it polarized me back and forth into these two states of 'extraordinary and disconnected' to 'ordinary and connected'... back and forth... over and over again to make sure I got the message. 

And when I was polarized into the extraordinariness to the exclusion of ordinariness, I felt totally alone in the universe and disconnected from all things in existence. And all the pressure of the universe would bear down on my head, neck, and shoulders like Atlas holding the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Then, it would re-integrate me with ordinariness... and it would be like I was puzzle piece that effortlessness clicked back into the puzzle of life. And it made me feel like a human amongst other humans and totally intertwined and connected with other people. And I was able to feel myself as part of nature and part of the universe at large. 

And all that existential pressure dissipated as it was diffused evenly over all of existence... instead of it all bearing down on my shoulders (and mine alone). 

It brought me back and forth between connection and disconnection quite a few times. 

Then, it was like on this threshold between connection and disconnection... and individualism and collectivism. And it was bringing collectivist words into my mind like family and community... and I could sense a little hint of disgust in my intuitive response to these words that was very subtle but noticeable under the influence of the medicine.

And I sat there at the threshold between connection and disconnection... contemplating whether to relinquish my hermit-like ways and cross the threshold into connection or not. 

It also occurred to me later that this is why human beings feel so disconnected from nature... because we see ourselves as extraordinary animals and NOT ordinary animals. And the sense of identification with extraordinariness makes us feel like we live above and outside of nature.

[RendHeaven]

6 years ago you wrote to me:

• "Because everything is you. If you judge any aspect of that "you" as invalid, it is relegated to unconsciousness. And enlightenment NECESSITATES perfect love. If your heart is heavier than a feather, you will not pass. And enlightenment is also the only way to truly recognize your unshakable validity. " 

[StarStruck]

Ken Wilber in his integral model calls it the we-frame versus I-frame. Both important to develop. 

[Carl-Richard]

A sense of belonging is felt when you fit to your environment. It's easy to forget that even though you might be different, you share a lot with your fellow humans, and therefore you belong with them.

I didn't have it as a deep psychedelic insight, but more conceptual, but I'll still share it here:

 

Edited March 8 by Carl-Richard