Am I Being Cruel?

[Jack_Clark]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months, we are attending different universities and I guess I wasn't attached enough to try long distance. However I really care for her emotions and how she feels, she grew to emotionally rely on me for helping her with insecurities and keeping her positive. As a result of this dependency and my caring for her I still act very affectionately towards her and we meet up and have sex occasionally. I fear severing ties with her will cause a lot of emotional pain that could damage her and me but what we have now isn't really a healthy relationship, any advice?

[Shin]

You're doing her more damage now by doing this than cutting the tie definitely.

You're not cruel, you're just weak.

[Evilwave Heddy]

14 minutes ago, Shin said:

You're doing her more damage now by doing this than cutting the tie definitely.

You're not cruel, you're just weak.

This

[Arkandeus]

don't pity her, you're both adults, it goes both ways, you're both responsible for yourselves, if she's still seeing you then she has something to gain from this as well, you don't have to feel any guilt....

your deepest most honest self-interest is always in the greater good of everyone.
it's not a typical relationship, who cares? 
let things be what they are, if you're fine with it and she is, let it go on, if it's not your thing deep down then stop

Edited April 13, 2017 by Arkandeus

[Shin]

31 minutes ago, Arkandeus said:

don't pity her, you're both adults, it goes both ways, you're both responsible for yourselves, if she's still seeing you then she has something to gain from this as well, you don't have to feel any guilt....

your deepest most honest self-interest is always in the greater good of everyone.
it's not a typical relationship, who cares? 
let things be what they are, if you're fine with it and she is, let it go on, if it's not your thing deep down then stop

Quote

she grew to emotionally rely on me for helping her with insecurities and keeping her positive. As a result of this dependency

Most likely, she is emotionally weak, and still see him because she can't say no, cause she's attached to him.

He use her as his little bitch, and one part of his mind knows it, that's why he's asking here if it's "ok" to use her as a living sextoy.

 

Edited April 13, 2017 by Shin

[Arkandeus]

59 minutes ago, Shin said:

Most likely, she is emotionally weak, and still see him because she can't say no, cause she's attached to him.

He use her as his little bitch, and one part of his mind knows it, that's why he's asking here if it's "ok" to use her as a living sextoy.

 

I understand your perspective Shin. 
But if she cannot say no that is her fault and responsibility. 
Now if he was beating her and threatening her with something I'd completely agree. 
But in this case he's not hurting her, he doesn't owe her an attachment either, if she wants to keep seeing him under these circumstances that is her responsibility. 

well that's my personal perspective

[Shin]

46 minutes ago, Arkandeus said:

I understand your perspective Shin. 
But if she cannot say no that is her fault and responsibility. 
Now if he was beating her and threatening her with something I'd completely agree. 
But in this case he's not hurting her, he doesn't owe her an attachment either, if she wants to keep seeing him under these circumstances that is her responsibility. 

well that's my personal perspective

I could be projecting a lot too, like totally, but I prefer to be an ass just in case.

Maybe it will help him understand he's acting like an asshole (probably without being aware of it) if that's the case

 

Edited April 13, 2017 by Shin