Why do girls not find their boyfriends creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy?

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Buck Edwards said:

There is no emotional consciousness in offending others.

Exactly my point. 

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

Exactly my point. 

It's you who is offending others. They are simply responding. Take responsibility ffs. 

[mr_engineer]

6 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

It's you who is offending others. They are simply responding. Take responsibility ffs. 

How am I offending others?! They're the ones using the swear-word of 'creepy'. That's offensive and that's what we have to taboo. 

It's just this word that's the problem. If we stop using it, all the problems will be solved. 

Edited March 5 by mr_engineer

[Emotionalmosquito]

@Emerald Good to hear from u again, Emerald. Haven’t seen you around in while. I’ll take a better look at what u said as well as mr engineer’s thread tomorrow. My eyes have taken too much screen strain for today.

To mods and Leo, Please please do not lock this. This is a very important conversation that needs to be had!

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@Emerald Good to hear from u again, Emerald. Haven’t seen you around in while. I’ll take a better look at what u said as well as mr engineer’s thread tomorrow. My eyes have taken too much screen strain for today.

To mods and Leo, Please please do not lock this. This is a very important conversation that needs to be had!

Good to hear from you too. I look forward to hearing back from you.  

[Buck Edwards]

3 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

How am I offending others?! They're the ones using the swear-word of 'creepy'. That's offensive and that's what we have to taboo. 

You can't taboo the word "criminal." Creepy behavior creeps people out because it's intimidating. And the reason the word exists is so that people don't engage in that behavior. 

So the solution is to stop the behavior that creeps people out instead of supporting it. 

And if you're really interested in taboo behavior then do it at least with people who are okay with taboo concepts. That's the legit way to proceed. 

Some people like BDSM and others find it freaky and taboo. You have to find people who are okay with what you're doing rather than forcing people to be okay with it. You don't have autonomy on people's feelings. That goes against the fundamental principle of human liberty. 

It's like saying I should slap you but you shouldn't react.

What you're demanding is against human rights and it's weird and it's your responsibility to accept it and change rather than make people to accept wrong behavior. 

 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

You can't taboo the word "criminal." Creepy behavior creeps people out because it's intimidating. And the reason the word exists is so that people don't engage in that behavior. 

So the solution is to stop the behavior that creeps people out instead of supporting it. 

What behavior?! 'Crime' is well-defined, so we don't taboo this word. But, 'creepy behavior' is not well-defined. As mentioned on this thread: 

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

And if you're really interested in taboo behavior then do it at least with people who are okay with taboo concepts. That's the legit way to proceed. 

Some people like BDSM and others find it freaky and taboo. You have to find people who are okay with what you're doing rather than forcing people to be okay with it. You don't have autonomy on people's feelings. That goes against the fundamental principle of human liberty. 

That's more like it. 

The word 'creepy' is not well-defined, though. It just causes unnecessary confusion and destroys men's self-esteem. 'Weird' is a better word to describe the behavior. 

2 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

It's like saying I should slap you but you shouldn't react.

Slapping is a crime. 'Creepy behavior' is not. 

2 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

What you're demanding is against human rights and it's weird and it's your responsibility to accept it and change rather than make people to accept wrong behavior. 

Again, what behavior? Be more specific. 

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

What behavior?! 'Crime' is well-defined, so we don't taboo this word. But, 'creepy behavior' is not well-defined. As mentioned on this thread: 

That's more like it. 

The word 'creepy' is not well-defined, though. It just causes unnecessary confusion and destroys men's self-esteem. 'Weird' is a better word to describe the behavior. 

Slapping is a crime. 'Creepy behavior' is not. 

Again, what behavior? Be more specific. 

It's not about definition. If most people are creeped out by some behavior, that's enough social calibration to understand that you shouldn't do it again. You're not a school kid for god's sake. If I said "I'll kill you" it's threatening, but not criminal, it frightens a person. Similarly creepy behavior frightens people even if it's not criminal. It's considered unpleasant. 

[lostingenosmaze]

I'd sooner predict the slang "incel" to be taboo'd upon than creepy, if it hasn't already. At least incel has already replaced "virgin" to be more derogatory and damning in normal nomenclature.

Stigmatizing "creepy" is a weird hill to die upon.

Edited March 5 by lostingenosmaze

[mr_engineer]

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

It's not about definition. If most people are creeped out by some behavior, that's enough social calibration to understand that you shouldn't do it again. You're not a school kid for god's sake.

What if it's authentic to you? And people just have emotional-issues, which is why they're reacting negatively to it? It's not a boundary-violation of any kind, they're just paranoid. 

'Creepiness' that's not also criminal, is generally not a boundary-violation. It boils down to people's fears. Cuz boundary-violations are criminalized. 

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You're not a school kid for god's sake.

How would you teach this to a school kid, then? 

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

If I said "I'll kill you" it's threatening, but not criminal, it frightens a person.

Threatening is criminal behavior, actually. 

10 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Similarly creepy behavior frightens people even if it's not criminal. It's considered unpleasant. 

Aren't their fears their problem? And, 'unpleasant' is subjective, right? 

Edited March 5 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

14 minutes ago, lostingenosmaze said:

I'd sooner predict the slang "incel" to be taboo'd upon than creepy, if it hasn't already. At least incel has already replaced "virgin" to be more derogatory and damning in normal nomenclature.

Stigmatizing "creepy" is a weird hill to die upon.

Incels generally call themselves that, whereas 'creep' is something that others call you because they're projecting their fears onto you. Fears that have been caused mostly by the media, by repeatedly reporting about school-shootings and rape-cases. And by horror movies. 

Edited March 5 by mr_engineer

[StarStruck]

Creepy in the context of men-female dynamics is this: she sees you as a low value man who is trying to impregnate her and fuck up her chances of good reproduction. If you were a high value man and did the same as the low value man does it would be OK. 

[mr_engineer]

I'll tell you why this word should become a taboo. 

It's because 'creep' implies 'scary individual' or 'unlovable individual'. Because fear is the opposite of love. 

So, in the name of love, let's taboo this word! 

This will also promote true femininity, which stands for love, not fear. 

Edited March 5 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

19 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

What if it's authentic to you? And people just have emotional-issues, which is why they're reacting negatively to it? It's not a boundary-violation of any kind, they're just paranoid. 

It's boundary violation if they have specifically said no or told you to stop. To keep doing something that someone tells you to stop doing because they feel uncomfortable is blatant disrespect. 

Quote

'Creepiness' that's not also criminal, is generally not a boundary-violation. It boils down to people's fears. Cuz boundary-violations are criminalized. 

But it's just wrong if someone is not okay with it. If you called someone the B word, that's not a threat, but at the same time you're abusing someone, similar to calling someone fat. You have to get into the nitty gritty of what creepy behavior you're referring to that you're having a problem with being called creepy. 

Quote

How would you teach this to a school kid, then? 

Just the way manners are taught. 

Quote

Threatening is criminal behavior, actually. 

And creepy behavior is partially criminal too. You can't go around abusing people's feelings in the name of public freedom. 

Quote

Aren't their fears their problem? And, 'unpleasant' is subjective, right? 

No their fears aren't their problem. You propagated those fears. You have public responsibility when you invoke fear in someone. 

[mr_engineer]

14 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

It's boundary violation if they have specifically said no or told you to stop. To keep doing something that someone tells you to stop doing because they feel uncomfortable is blatant disrespect. 

What if they don't say 'no', they just call you a 'creep'? 

And, what if they're doing this, not as an assertion of boundaries, but as an assertion of moral-superiority over you? To insult you deliberately? 

14 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

But it's just wrong if someone is not okay with it. If you called someone the B word, that's not a threat, but at the same time you're abusing someone, similar to calling someone fat. You have to get into the nitty gritty of what creepy behavior you're referring to that you're having a problem with being called creepy. 

There are crazy people who are not okay with the narrative that 'the Earth is round'. Does this make the mainstream 'creepy', then?! 

You can't regulate everything you're not okay with, you can only regulate what's illegal. 

14 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Just the way manners are taught. 

Manners are well-defined, 'creepiness' is not. 

14 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

And creepy behavior is partially criminal too. You can't go around abusing people's feelings in the name of public freedom. 

How do you regulate it, then, in a way that's not hypocritical? Is there a systematic way to regulate it? Because if there isn't, you're telling someone that their authentic personality is unlovable. Is that okay to you? 

14 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

No their fears aren't their problem. You propagated those fears. You have public responsibility when you invoke fear in someone. 

If you have a fear of heights, this is your problem, right?! Are you going to blame the builders for building high-rise buildings, for 'invoking that fear in you'? No, right?! You're going to learn to deal with it, right?! Same thing here. 

Edited March 5 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

What if they don't say 'no', they just call you a 'creep'? 

It means you aren't experienced enough. Also it's not their job to teach ya. 

Just now, mr_engineer said:

There are crazy people who are not okay with the narrative that 'the Earth is round'. Does this make the mainstream 'creepy', then?! 

You can't regulate everything you're not okay with, you can only regulate what's illegal. 

Those people aren't making someone personally uncomfortable. You're conflating two things. One is having an opinion and the other is being creepy to someone. Nobody tells you that you can't have an opinion. But it seems like you're asking for a license to behave bad with people. 

Just now, mr_engineer said:

Manners are well-defined, 'creepiness' is not. 

It's context dependent that's why. Staring at a stranger can be considered creepy  in one country whereas friendly in some other. You have to see what is considered creepy in regards to the cultural norm that you're a part of. People have to learn cultural signals, norms and perceptions when they travel to other countries. For example you must have seen popular celebrities covering themselves up in Islamic countries because they don't want to dehumanize the norms of that culture. 

Just now, mr_engineer said:

How do you regulate it, then, in a way that's not hypocritical? Is there a systematic way to regulate it? Because if there isn't, you're telling someone that their authentic personality is unlovable. Is that okay to you? 

Completely okay. You're calling it unlovable. It's about social calibration though. If you lack social calibration you'll see everything "socially appropriate" as threatening to your ego. It's a matter of perception rather than regulation. You can be ill mannered if you want to be because there is no legal notice to be sent if you don't have the right manners, at the same time don't be surprised by the reactions people give. 

Just now, mr_engineer said:

If you have a fear of heights, this is your problem, right?! Are you going to blame the builders for building high-rise buildings, for 'invoking that fear in you'? No, right?! You're going to learn to deal with it, right?! Same thing here. 

No it's not the same thing. Building is an inanimate object. It does not have an intent to harm me. However most criminals start off with creepy behavior. So there's a cause for concern when someone feels alarmed because you give them the vibe of a potential criminal or foul person. And nobody wants to deal with something abusive or toxic. 

[StarStruck]

22 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I'll tell you why this word should become a taboo. 

It's because 'creep' implies 'scary individual' or 'unlovable individual'. Because fear is the opposite of love. 

So, in the name of love, let's taboo this word! 

This will also promote true femininity, which stands for love, not fear. 

Why should women toot your horn?

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Buck Edwards said:

It means you aren't experienced enough. Also it's not their job to teach ya. 

Or, it means they aren't experienced enough. 

Just now, Buck Edwards said:

Those people aren't making someone personally uncomfortable. You're conflating two things. One is having an opinion and the other is being creepy to someone. Nobody tells you that you can't have an opinion. But it seems like you're asking for a license to behave bad with people. 

No, I'm not conflating anything. 

In relationships, your comfort-levels are your responsibility. If you feel uncomfortable with something in the relationship, are you going to demonize the other person and call them 'unlovable'? 

2 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

It's context dependent that's why. Staring at a stranger can be considered creepy  in one country whereas friendly in some other. You have to see what is considered creepy in regards to the cultural norm that you're a part of. People have to learn cultural signals, norms and perceptions when they travel to other countries. For example you must have seen popular celebrities covering themselves up in Islamic countries because they don't want to dehumanize the norms of that culture. 

Right, it's not well-defined. 

This is why I think we need to stop using a word that tells people that they're unlovable. 

3 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Completely okay. You're calling it unlovable. It's about social calibration though. If you lack social calibration you'll see everything "socially appropriate" as threatening to your ego. It's a matter of perception rather than regulation. You can be ill mannered if you want to be because there is no legal notice to be sent if you don't have the right manners, at the same time don't be surprised by the reactions people give. 

But, if those reactions involve calling someone unlovable, that's a red-flag, right?! 

3 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

No it's not the same thing. Building is an inanimate object. It does not have an intent to harm me. However most criminals start off with creepy behavior. So there's a cause for concern when someone feels alarmed because you give them the vibe of a potential criminal or foul person. And nobody wants to deal with something abusive or toxic. 

I talk about the projection of 'uncommunicated intent' on this thread: 

 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

Why should women toot your horn?

If men start standing up for themselves and stop putting up with being called 'unlovable', they will stop marrying unloving women. That's why. 

[Buck Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

But, if those reactions involve calling someone unlovable, that's a red-flag, right?! 

You're gaslighting vulnerable folks. Nobody called someone unlovable. Creep means a person who has no concern for others. It seems you like to invoke victimhood out of it. At least incel is part victim. Creep is not.