My deepest awakening experience

[TheGod]

I force myself to do this last hit. I pull my 5MeO-DMT for a few seconds (I've been vaping it slowly for a few hours). 

I'm dead. I'm still seeing shapes and colours but I can't distinguish them from myself. I look at my hands and even though I see "hands" I'm conscious that I'm looking at nothing. I'm not feeling any boundaries whatsoever. I'm ghost. I'm trying to grasp where are my boundaries and I realise that I don't have any. I'm aware that all this time I've been constructing life from scratch. I've been doing it intentionally. I understand why I was doing it. My desire to awaken was part of the dream. I only imagined that I wasn't awake. I'm always awake. Nothing is happening. All that happens is nothing. I'm in heaven. I've always been in heaven. Now that I'm awake there is nothing else to do. All doing looses its meaning. Meditation, eating, sleeping, talking, walking, working, reading, etc - has zero importance. This is the end. Everything is equally perfect always. Raping and torturing people as good and as perfect as saving animals for example. All of my biases are gone. I'm pure formless magic. I really really get why I'm dreaming life. I want to go back, but I'm afraid that it's too late because i'm too conscious for time and for self-deception. I start panicking. I'm down on my knees with my eyes closed. I'm terrified by possibility of loosing my ability to imagine life. From the bottom of my being I desire to incarnate again. I remembered how I came into existence in the first place. I made a conscious decision to incarnate. I'm back to life. Thanks God that I'm God.

[Princess Arabia]

54 minutes ago, TheGod said:

My desire to awaken was part of the dream. I only imagined that I wasn't awake. I'm always awake. Nothing is happening. All that happens is nothing

This is what I've been trying to say all along. I don't need psychedelics to tell me this, it's obvious from just looking at what's happening in Reality. It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense. We give it meaning. Nothing is happening. Only what the mind is creating. There is only mind. It is the dream. 

Then again, the dream is real. And I'm stuck in it until.......I awaken. Which never happens because I'm already awake. That's the fucking trick. It's obvious because none of us gets out "alive". NONE.

Edited March 4 by Princess Arabia

[Soul Flight]

14 hours ago, TheGod said:

 I'm terrified by possibility of loosing my ability to imagine life. From the bottom of my being I desire to incarnate again.

I often feel this on large dose shrooms. I escape reality and I am desperate to be inserted back into reality. I fear being god and knowing I am god. Apparently I prefer this delusion of reality Lol! Being god feels like going insane.

Edited March 4 by Soul Flight

[Grateful Dead]

 

[Ishanga]

@TheGod This is why we are not born this way with this sort of intense experience, how would humanity survive is nothing has a fundamental meaning or value.. As You said "Everything is equally perfect always. Raping and torturing people as good and as perfect as saving animals for example", having an experience of perfection in everything, its good, but it has to have a context otherwise life as we know it here, on this dual material planet with diverse life won't happen well, life in this way, on this level of existence won't be empowered. Now in the normal context of Life, your statement is nuts, its just the drug making You feel an overwhelming experience of Oneness, imagine saying what You say to a person that just lost their child to torture, would You do it? I doubt it, because now that the drug has worn off survival sort of consciousness or a level that is not at the level of Your experience is now within your feeling.. So we have to have context and realize that existence is on many levels, there is the one that is what You experienced, then there are higher ones and lower ones...We need stable platforms within Us to manage it while embodied, otherwise chaos (which is what is happening in the world) will rule...

[Davino]

@Ishanga you desperately need to grow up from green stage Spyral Dynamics personal development to Stage Yellow.

Everything can be added to stage yellow don't worry, nothing has to be relinquished. 

Till stage yellow doesn't come and you enter into Tier 2 you will keep getting into trouble with yourself and the world.

Really study what I'm saying, this is the most transformative personal advice you will receive here. 

It's a maturity of the ego and mind that is missing for you, particularly this stage change (not state) in the way you cognise and handle yourself.

Leo has plenty of material about this.

Edited March 4 by Davino

[TheGod]

18 hours ago, Soul Flight said:

I often feel this on large dose shrooms. I escape reality and I am desperate to be inserted back into reality. I fear being god and knowing I am god. Apparently I prefer this delusion of reality Lol! Being god feels like going insane.

Bro I once did 5 grams of Enigma mushrooms and I was stuck in God mode for 5 hours. It was so intense I was damn sure that I would never get back to normal life. The worst trip I ever had. Ever since I don't fuck around with mushrooms, especially Enigma.  

This illusion is perfect. It's a wonderful game full of drama, problems, cruelty and basic human pleasures. 

[Jowblob]

On 4-3-2024 at 4:42 AM, Princess Arabia said:

This is what I've been trying to say all along. I don't need psychedelics to tell me this, it's obvious from just looking at what's happening in Reality. It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense. We give it meaning. Nothing is happening. Only what the mind is creating. There is only mind. It is the dream. 

Then again, the dream is real. And I'm stuck in it until.......I awaken. Which never happens because I'm already awake. That's the fucking trick. It's obvious because none of us gets out "alive". NONE.

Yup , nothing makes sense. The more conscious you become the more you see how the world acts around you doesnt make sense. You enjoy the structure so you try to give it sense so it stays structured. Everything is part of your mind and your dream, you're always safe. The reason you give your authority away is because otherwise you wouldnt enjoy life and life would be just an empty shell. 

The only thing we can do is pray and imagine in the future that we will have a smooth transition to oneness so we can construct and choose the next reincarnation. But i don't even know if it works like that and the only option might be imagining our own death to loose the ego body and make everything restart.

 

When i was 4 years old i had the same dream like 10x @Princess Arabia . In the dream i saw that i jumped down from a high roof building, while flying down i felt the same cold as from lsd when transitioning to high consciousness and when i almost touched the ground the screen went black and i alwayse woke up. So i transitioned from one dream to another dream by getting rid of my ego. I believe since you're nothingness it is essentially almost not possible to get rid of your ego since it is all you remember since you're nothingness, and you're constructing evrything on the go and i have seen it with my own eyes how i construct evrrything on the go in the present

[Princess Arabia]

5 hours ago, Jowblob said:

Yup , nothing makes sense. The more conscious you become the more you see how the world acts around you doesnt make sense. You enjoy the structure so you try to give it sense so it stays structured. Everything is part of your mind and your dream, you're always safe. The reason you give your authority away is because otherwise you wouldnt enjoy life and life would be just an empty shell. 

The only thing we can do is pray and imagine in the future that we will have a smooth transition to oneness so we can construct and choose the next reincarnation. But i don't even know if it works like that and the only option might be imagining our own death to loose the ego body and make everything restart.

 

When i was 4 years old i had the same dream like 10x @Princess Arabia . In the dream i saw that i jumped down from a high roof building, while flying down i felt the same cold as from lsd when transitioning to high consciousness and when i almost touched the ground the screen went black and i alwayse woke up. So i transitioned from one dream to another dream by getting rid of my ego. I believe since you're nothingness it is essentially almost not possible to get rid of your ego since it is all you remember since you're nothingness, and you're constructing evrything on the go and i have seen it with my own eyes how i construct evrrything on the go in the present

Nice. The illusion is deep. May I ask, can you ever die in your dream. You know, when you dream at night. I never do; always wake up when I was about to be shot or something like that. 

Edited March 5 by Princess Arabia

[Jowblob]

On 3/5/2024 at 6:13 PM, Princess Arabia said:

Nice. The illusion is deep. May I ask, can you ever die in your dream. You know, when you dream at night. I never do; always wake up when I was about to be shot or something like that. 

@Princess Arabia  You wake up because you imagine death in the dream/get shocked. So you constructed this boundary in the dream that's why you wake up. Have you noticed that almost everything in life is always about death? But when you're there as god you realize you're eternal and there is no such thing as sleep and so on, you're always awake in the eternal and flowing. Since god is aware that he is conscious in the nothingness and doesn't understand himself how that's possible, you imagine death/low consciousness/sleep and so on just to be out of there.

I have been 2 times in awake states where i was too conscious for sleep or to fall asleep, it wasnt nice.

When you know that you can sleep and not exist for some time is actually a remedy that you're using right now as god to deal with the eternal. Just like ananda has said

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Jowblob said:

@Princess Arabia  You wake up because you imagine death in the dream/get shocked. So you constructed this boundary in the dream that's why you wake up. Have you noticed that almost everything in life is always about death? But when you're there as god you realize you're eternal and there is no such thing as sleep and so on, you're always awake in the eternal and flowing. Since god is aware that he is conscious in the nothingness and doesn't understand himself how that's possible, you imagine death/low consciousness/sleep and so on just to be out of there.

I have been 2 times in awake states where i was too conscious for sleep or to fall asleep, it wasnt nice.

When you know that you can sleep and not exist for some time is actually a remedy that you're using right now as god to deal with the eternal. Just like ananda has said

Oh. There are clues and glitches everywhere. Just have to know how to spot them, I guess.

[Breakingthewall]

Openings with psychedelics always have a component of deception, since the psyche is not really prepared to move away and you are forcing it away. It will always find a loophole to grab onto. Nothing happens as long as you are aware that your realization is partial and do not make the common mistake of believing in it as if it had been an absolute revelation. Its usefulness is not that but to show you the way, to highlight the points in your mind that are holding on.

you have to be smart and use psychedelics to understand and work on your mind so that it can open spontaneously and soberly in a regular, normal way, and not be stupid and believe in your psychedelic experience and conceptualize it

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

The first post on this thread sounds like some sort of an ego death? A question… Do you think that true and the deepest awakenings, only happen through ego death? I ask this because the only awakenings that really shook me into really deeply understanding had this component of ego death. Even awakenings in real life appear after some kind of suffering. 

I had an experience of slow motion ego death once. I had fore knowledge of what an ego death is, so as it was happening I could really study the process as it unfolded and surrender to it. When I reached the peak of it… I forgot who I was, it was like amnesia, I didn’t remember anything and it was so total that time also stopped, or I didn’t have any understanding of what time even was…

Just after the peak, an inner dimension of infinite spaciousness opened along with depth and clairity… and a kind of tranquility and peace that I’ve never known before… then floods of information came, layers upon layers… It felt like huge chunks of time passed, lifetimes had passed, or atleast tens of years, but when I came back, only about 20 minutes passed. This blew my mind. The experience really stayed with me, and I thought about it probably everyday for months.

I seriously wanted to understand what exactly happened there. They say Psychedelic awakenings don’t last… This one did. It changed my whole everything, its why I’m here now. This caused  me to start a serious daily meditation regime, it definitely was very different from other experiences I’ve had, and it was just the right thing for me and at the right time. I believe if it happened earlier in my life, I would have just passed it off as just a strange experience, a weird effect on the mind from a psychedelic.

I think now that I probably went into the void, after tons of research trying to unravel the significance of that experience, especially the time factor.

On 3/12/2024 at 11:59 AM, Breakingthewall said:

you have to be smart and use psychedelics to understand and work on your mind so that it can open spontaneously and soberly in a regular, normal way, and not be stupid and believe in your psychedelic experience and conceptualize it

This 👆… I believe is key. If you aren’t learning about the self, higher lower self and spirituality… The psychedelic experience won’t make any sense and you’ll pass it off as just a novelty. Same thing for true awakenings in regular life.

Edited March 13 by Cosmic-Resplendence

[Thought Art]

Remembering my infinite kingdom of heaven is my fav 

[OBEler]

On 13.3.2024 at 3:18 PM, Cosmic-Resplendence said:

The first post on this thread sounds like some sort of an ego death? A question… Do you think that true and the deepest awakenings, only happen through ego death? I ask this because the only awakenings that really shook me into really deeply understanding had this component of ego death. Even awakenings in real life appear after some kind of suffering. 

I had an experience of slow motion ego death once. I had fore knowledge of what an ego death is, so as it was happening I could really study the process as it unfolded and surrender to it. When I reached the peak of it… I forgot who I was, it was like amnesia, I didn’t remember anything and it was so total that time also stopped, or I didn’t have any understanding of what time even was…

Just after the peak, an inner dimension of infinite spaciousness opened along with depth and clairity… and a kind of tranquility and peace that I’ve never known before… then floods of information came, layers upon layers… It felt like huge chunks of time passed, lifetimes had passed, or atleast tens of years, but when I came back, only about 20 minutes passed. This blew my mind. The experience really stayed with me, and I thought about it probably everyday for months.

I seriously wanted to understand what exactly happened there. They say Psychedelic awakenings don’t last… This one did. It changed my whole everything, its why I’m here now. This caused  me to start a serious daily meditation regime, it definitely was very different from other experiences I’ve had, and it was just the right thing for me and at the right time. I believe if it happened earlier in my life, I would have just passed it off as just a strange experience, a weird effect on the mind from a psychedelic.

I think now that I probably went into the void, after tons of research trying to unravel the significance of that experience, especially the time factor.

This 👆… I believe is key. If you aren’t learning about the self, higher lower self and spirituality… The psychedelic experience won’t make any sense and you’ll pass it off as just a novelty. Same thing for true awakenings in regular life.

What do you think should be learned to make sense of psychedelics (especially mystical states like ego death)

[Cosmic-Resplendence]

With ego death… Just learn to recognize that experience for what it is, while its happening, like to really know it, so when it happens, you aren‘t caught off guard and become completely lost over fear. So you will surrender into it without any hesitations. Sounds easy but if you really think you’re dying, that’s easier said than done.

If you didn’t realize what was happening, its probably more likely to cause escalating fears… turning the experience from what could have been a massive breakthrough and spiritual growth, instead into some kind of a psychological setback. Theres probably infinite variations of ego deaths though, some may be more difficult than others.

But this isn’t anything new really, just the old thinking that one should go with the experience, not to fight it, or else will cause a bad trip.

Unfortunately the most spiritual growing psychedelic experiences usually need to be powerful and life altering, often involving some kind of ego death… I think.

Edited March 14 by Cosmic-Resplendence

[ExplorerMystic]

@TheGod"LOVE" is infectious once you taste it. The only thing holding you back is called sanity by human standards which by triggering of personal self (ego) in between takes you back to this dream. It is nothing but the compassion of that "LOVE".

It has infinite depth. It's the ego that stops at a certain depth, comes back to the top, and proclaims this is it. Not comprehending its infinitude. Well, that's what is called dogmas, Institutionalized religion, Cults, etc.