How Do Deal With Judging And Condemning Yourself

[Jesper]

Here's a scenario that often happens to me when I take something new on.

• I see a new possibility for myself and I'm eager to learn, so I invent some exercise to do and I promise myself that I'll do it at a certain moment in time.
• The time passes, and for whatever reason I don't do it (for example, I let myself be stopped by fear or distractions).
• I condemn myself for not doing it and make a new promise: "I'll do it tomorrow!".
• Tomorrow comes and again I don't do it and condemn myself again.
• After this repeats a few times I loose trust in myself and give up.

This judging and condemning myself doesn't help, it just reinforces my negative idea that I can't do it and it makes me quit.

But it's hard to learn to not do that anymore.

How do you deal with this and what's an effective way to stop condemning myself and not quit?

[Walter B]

3 minutes ago, Jesper said:

Here's a scenario that often happens to me when I take something new on.

• I see a new possibility for myself and I'm eager to learn, so I invent some exercise to do and I promise myself that I'll do it at a certain moment in time.
• The time passes, and for whatever reason I don't do it (for example, I let myself be stopped by fear or distractions).
• I condemn myself for not doing it and make a new promise: "I'll do it tomorrow!".
• Tomorrow comes and again I don't do it and condemn myself again.
• After this repeats a few times I loose trust in myself and give up.

This judging and condemning myself doesn't help, it just reinforces my negative idea that I can't do it and it makes me quit.

But it's hard to learn to not do that anymore.

How do you deal with this and what's an effective way to stop condemning myself and not quit?

Realize what makes you think it even matters if you do it. Then you can work on determining if it does matter.

Then doing or not doing will get easier.

[Rito]

I feel that the cause of this problem is more deep than we think it is.

Let me illustrate this to you by means of an example.

One fine day I say to myself "I need to learn and master the piano".The moment I say that to myself I am actually unconsciously making several changes to my sub-conscious mind.First of all I am setting a standard for myself that I now need to live up to.This is creating a pressure on myself.But maybe I dont want to do it just yet due to some factor.So I start hating myself for it.This causes more tension and inner conflict when I keep on brooding upon the things I am missing out due to this.I hate myself some more.Then I see others and keep comparing.More useless mental exercise ensues that ultimately leaves me exhausted.My sub-conscious now holds the belief that I am lazy and learning the piano is now a herculean task for me.

On the other hand if I say "Piano is a a great instrument to learn.It would be great if I could play it.Lets find out the piano classes near me and enlist it".That is I take small baby steps from the moment I conceived the idea,it becomes relatively easier to follow through.Plus I am not making it a "must-do" for me that is lessening the pressure,so even if I miss out the next day,I will not hate myself but make a positive effort to follow it throught the next day.

This my two cents in addition to what Leo has to say in his video on how to deal with procastination

[CirclesofMastery]

47 minutes ago, Jesper said:

Here's a scenario that often happens to me when I take something new on.

• I see a new possibility for myself and I'm eager to learn, so I invent some exercise to do and I promise myself that I'll do it at a certain moment in time.
• The time passes, and for whatever reason I don't do it (for example, I let myself be stopped by fear or distractions).
• I condemn myself for not doing it and make a new promise: "I'll do it tomorrow!".
• Tomorrow comes and again I don't do it and condemn myself again.
• After this repeats a few times I loose trust in myself and give up.

This judging and condemning myself doesn't help, it just reinforces my negative idea that I can't do it and it makes me quit.

But it's hard to learn to not do that anymore.

How do you deal with this and what's an effective way to stop condemning myself and not quit?

Take action immediately and commit to whatever it is you have decided to do. 

[DildoMaster]

Forgive yourself. If you don't do the things that you want to, first off relax. Don't worry about it. It's important to not stress yourself out about it. Then get into a clear minded attitude. This clear mind will get rid of the obstructin g voices in your head that say "but I don't wanna" or "I'm too lazy". Doubt your thoughts. Then ask yourself, would you rather be doing what it is that you are doing right now? Or would you rather be doing something else? When it comes to productivity, it's important to be motivated, and go at your own pace. But be real and be honest with yourself. As well as be flexible. Your going to stress yourself out if you have to get "this" "this" and "this" done by whatever time. Just go at your own changeable pace.