Advice regarding my recent approach

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Men can be cruel, women can be cruel, cats and dogs can be cruel, animals in general can be cruel, the weather can be cruel, certain jobs can be cruel, politics can be cruel, Hollywood can be cruel, the entertainment industry can be cruel, murderers can be cruel, small kids can be cruel, life can be cruel...i could go on.

The only thing that seem to never be cruel is Mr Engineer here. So no point in even saying what or who can be cruel because just about everything can be cruel.  

Trying to water down/trivialize the point that was made. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

Trying to water down/trivialize the point that was made. 

There was no point, just like there's no point in yours.

[Yimpa]

Let’s cut back on the personal attacks y’all. Thank you 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

There was no point, just like there's no point in yours.

No, there was a point. The point was that the creep-shaming has gone too far. And it was made sense of in a wider context. 

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

No, there was a point. The point was that the creep-shaming has gone too far. And it was made sense of in a wider context. 

Is it creep-shaming or presumed creep-shaming or assumed creep-shaming or they think I am a creep- shaming, because if you are a creep like you're so obviously calling yourself or we wouldn't even be having this discussion, then you probably deserve to be shamed. 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

Is it creep-shaming or presumed creep-shaming or assumed creep-shaming or they think I am a creep- shaming, because if you are a creep like you're so obviously calling yourself or we wouldn't even be having this discussion, then you probably deserve to be shamed. 

There we go. 

If someone makes you feel 'creeped out', why is that their fault? Why are you blaming them for your feelings?! Your feelings are your responsibility, right?! 

[mr_engineer]

Do you honestly believe that the world should revolve around your feelings?! Cuz if you do, that's the textbook definition of 'narcissism'. Which is the opposite of 'being feminine', because femininity is all about being loving, not being narcissistic. 

This is why this is an important topic of discussion for men who are looking for a feminine, loving woman. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

There we go. 

If someone makes you feel 'creeped out', why is that their fault? Why are you blaming them for your feelings?! Your feelings are your responsibility, right?! 

Yeah, but back to the original post, she didn't blame the guy she took the responsibility to do something about her feelings and you're still having a problem with it because YOU didn't like how she did. C'mon you can't have it both ways. 

Edited March 1 by Princess Arabia

[Quader]

@Princess Arabia there is something to be said about expressly validating someone's point (women can act cruel) even when that point could be argued for anything (sharks are cruel). It's because he feels hurt, and further more I can sympathize with how he feels, I wish (everyone) but woman especially (as I'm a heterosexual male) would not view people as threatening or creeps but with tolerance, understanding and a willingness to engage. It's all just an idealization, it's like saying I wish men stopped trying to steal my girl. Not all men do this, and it's not fair to paint them in that light. But if I did paint them in that light, my initial anecdotal experience was still valid. The conclusions and trauma is an unfortunate distortion, but validation can be a first step to healing and an awareness of other possibilities

 

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

Yeah, but back to the original post, she didn't blame the guy she took the responsibility to do something about her feelings and you're still having a problem with it because YOU didn't like how she did. C'mon you can't have it both ways. 

When you cut contact with someone because they 'make you feel' a certain way, that's not you taking responsibility for your feelings, that's you blaming them for your feelings. 

If you're taking responsibility for your feelings, you can deal with them on your own time and have a completely different attitude towards the same person! 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, Quader said:

I wish (everyone) but woman especially (as I'm a heterosexual male) would not view people as threatening or creeps but with tolerance, understanding and a willingness to engage.

Go tell that to a rape victim or a person being stalked or spied on or threatened.

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Princess Arabia said:

Go tell that to a rape victim or a person being stalked or spied on or threatened.

All of those are crimes under the law. Which is a completely separate conversation from the one about your 'feelings' of being 'creeped out'. They may or may not have a good reason and you don't know unless you investigate them yourself. 

[Quader]

I'm sure they wish they could be kinder, even to the most evil ones. Thats why it's only an idealization, or wishful thinking. The world isn't that tidy. But it's okay to spin parables that may soothe a wounded spirit. 

[mr_engineer]

When you say that someone deserves to be shamed because they trigger certain feelings in you, that's very narcissistic and self-righteous of you. You honestly think that the world should revolve around your feelings, don't you?! 

It's just a matter of time before men wake up to this. That's what we have to do right now. Being a woman does not automatically make you more compassionate/have higher EQ. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer Because you approached her while she was minding her own business ,so own up to the accountability as a man or remain a boy.

Guys stop arguing for this long 😆

 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@mr_engineer Because you approached her while she was minding her own business ,so own up to the accountability as a man or remain a boy.

Guys stop arguing for this long 😆

 

Yeah, so what?! We're having a different discussion here. 

This discussion is about how you tell whether she's worth approaching or not. That's the advice I gave to the OP. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

If there's anything this discussion shows, it's that truly feminine women are worth their weight in gold. Because they take responsibility for their feelings and they can be truly loving. 

So, OP, find them and approach them. They won't ghost you. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[NoSelfSelf]

@mr_engineer its not a discussion its emotional drama that i can only experience on here, i watched too many korean drama recently to see the difference between good and bad  😆

Edited March 1 by NoSelfSelf

[Princess Arabia]

16 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

When you cut contact with someone because they 'make you feel' a certain way, that's not you taking responsibility for your feelings, that's you blaming them for your feelings.

Why are you refusing to look at the contents of the original post instead of generalizing. Asking for a friggin pic of inside your home is asinine and will evoke a response that's not in your favor. Cutting ties with someone because they made you feel a certain way is not blaming them for your feelings, it's called taking responsibility in removing yourself from the conditions that caused those feelings. You're implying that one doesn't have the right to invite or un-invite whatever it is that they presumably regard as a threat to their safety without causing any outside disturbance and retreat within to protect their unwanted feelings. 

The OP certainly felt some type of way himself or he wouldn't have made the post himself even though not once did he condemn her, but you're not saying to him he is ALSO responsible for his own feelings and that he shouldn't have blamed her for how he felt after she blocked him from Instagram. 

You're very one sided in your arguments and it's screaming with your own personal biases and projections.

Edited March 1 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

I'm finished with this conversation, so no worries about how much longer it will take on my end.