confused people

What was your next breakthrough after starting to approach/becoming more social?

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So so far on my dating journey I've had one or two major breakthroughs. By far the biggest one was when I started approaching (or rather "asking out people I found attractive" which I hadn't done almost at all before). Suddenly there were all these women who were clearly interested in/attracted to me which I had no idea existed, all that was required of me the whole time was the tiny push of asking for a date. I felt so silly afterwards. The other possible breakthrough came before that and was becoming more social/outgoing. You wouldn't be in a position to ask out anyone if you don't go out, but it didn't really feel like one at first, since it alone (without asking people out) wasn't enough. Until it was and I lucked out and got laid for the first time basically without doing any approaches. Anyways, after a first relationship I'm trying to continue the journey, but I'm feeling like I've hit a plateau. For one thing, one of the things that gave me confidence before was that I was looking for a relationship and believed I would be a great boyfriend (which is true, I was), but now I'm not exactly looking for a relationship and so don't have this visceral belief that I'm exactly right for the person I'm approaching. I didn't let that stop me, though, and kept going, but I dunno, something feels missing. It might be, I just need to stick to it and it'll solve itself eventually, perhaps when I'm in a position where I fully stop feeling like I *need* anyone and am just my own person or when I start not giving a shit what people think of me, but this is just me speculating (also, still living in a rather small city, so there is one obvious "breakthrough" that could happen). What's been your experience? What were the changes in your personality/strategy/style/etc. that made a palpable difference in the results?

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Whats missing is you doing this for a resault and a relationship, missing all the heavenly glorly(-Bruce lee 😆) that is inner journey of yourself.

Palpable difference is when the resault is not women but me doing the move i originally created and nobody made it but me, putting it into action as my authentic expression that's biggest sucess there is.

Edited by NoSelfSelf

There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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Are you talking about a dance move or what? 😂 Jk, I agree with you actually, but that's where I am, my authentic self is the need for a result and I know that's not helping my case, so I'll take your comment as advice to get out of that mindset… but to talk about the inner journey for a sec, it's hard for me to make progress on myself (as I define it) and relate to many people based on that. I have become more social, less awkward and more socially calibrated, but what I truly care about has little to do with these things or what other people care about en masse. On the other hand there are a lot of game-related things that would help me directly as well, so maybe it's wise to focus on those first. Still, I'd be lying of I claimed I'm not interested in just getting laid (assuming there is connection, etc., etc.). The majority here are.

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@confused people You dont know what your authentic self is until you unlock your mind,now your mind is doing everything to keep you away from yourself, with statements you made 1.my authentic self is resault oriented

2.Focusing on what others are doing

3.Main focus is getting laid and not you

Its deeper than that but game is deep.

Edited by NoSelfSelf

There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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