Leo, how much do looks influence a man's attractiveness

[Gnosis]

Just now, Yimpa said:

@Gnosis AI is surprisingly quite a helpful guide if you use it properly, just like being in a healthy intimate relationship. 

Says the one blissfully unaware of perverse economic incentives to humanize AI in order to cut corporate expenses.

[Gnosis]

I know we all want to fuck robots but I'm here to tell you that we need to fuck robots safely and that we need to fuck safe robots. Or soon it might be just robots fucking each other. This is sex education for the 21st century.

You're welcome.

[Alexop]

On 2/26/2024 at 2:55 PM, Leo Gura said:

You guys are my fanboys. Nobody else in the world treats me as special. When I am out about town I am as invisible as a ghost.

This thing is soo rare, with the amount of influence and knowledge Leo has, he could turn into a local rockstar and have all the hot girls and millions of dollars, he could create a harem of 10/10 girls just for himself, but he chose not to.  

Edited February 28 by Alexop

[bambi]

Ive slept with mahybe 600-900 girls (and some trans), and currently in recovery for sex (and porn/masturbation) addiction. I first spoke to Mystery via email before the book game was published so am an early early adopter, Im currently 36 years old. I have also built several succesful companies and am financial well off (was making $250-500k+ per year since early 20s). I am 6ft 2" and somewhat attractive, but always struggle with weight and have to work super hard and be mindful to be lean, but am in relatively good shape most of the time (12-14% bf)

Attraction is multi-faceted, and has different degrees of depth. I have several friends who are super model good looking, tall and naturally ripped. In terms of initial attention, or attraction I simply dont compete or compare. 

There are several times in my life Id be talking to girls for 30+mins and one of my friends would show up and Id instantly not exist, this is a regular occurance.

You can compensate for this by being in utter perfect state, i.e. feeling amazing, funny, cofident, non reactive etc, but ultimately the initial surface level attraction is more or less the same for both sexes: more symettrically beautifully looking people are simply more attractive and valuable, and look more healthy.

However having money and character definately helps too, and anyhting past a one night stand your character, personality, financial freedom and interpersonal compatibility is going to come into play.

Jungian depth psychology and ennegram tri-type are great models for explaining pyschological/personality compatibility, for example Im the same ennegram as Andrew Tate/Kanye West, Im very intense and ambitious, so I get along well with chill and easy going girls much better compatbility, then say an intense domineering girl - it would not work out at all for me. But several of my really good looking male friends are super easy going and chill (probably why we are friends), and they always end up with average looking dominant girls (but not a hard rule).

 

Ultimately sexual and romantic attractiveness is complex and multi-faceted, and you need to figure what your ultimate goal is, whilst coming to terms with the reality of your situation, Alot of times its much easier to heal the trauma, then spend years fighting the reality that your never going to have supermodel girls regularly throw themselves at your feet.

 

Its utterly possible for most men to work on themselves to the point they can date attractive AND compatible girls, and have fun healthy sexual relationships.

The key is to narrow the pool of girls down and to focus on the ones who are compatible with what your USPs are, and not beating or dwelling on the cohort of girls you would want to be with anyway

Sleeping with tons of girls just for sexual pleasure (sex as a drug) is toxic, and is self-destructive, out of all the girls I slept with 5-10 to 15 max I actually genuinely had good sex, good compatbility, enjoyed hanging out with them, was good in all the ways. And 1 girl like this is worth 10,000 cheap one night stands.

God speed to you all

[Vrubel]

@Leo Gura What's the main thing that makes you attractive to women? It sounds to me like you don't have much charm and charisma in life. Like do you have standard goofy American energy or do you have some serious authentic masculine vibes?

[Buck Edwards]

2 hours ago, Gnosis said:

Thanks for actually specifying what the warning was for. I swore a guy when I could've just told him that I read him like a book.

It would've otherwise confused me, because in all frank honesty I currently have little to no regard for how I come across on the internet due to past experiences of being arbitrarily moderated elsewhere. At some point you just accept that internet communities are functionally dictatorships. I'd rather just be genuine, say what I want and bite the bullet because I'm not going to prevent arbitrary bans either way.

In actuality I suspect half of the bans have happened because of a value-misalignment between the owners of an online community and myself. You gotta love it when people start bringing out the wheelchair emote because you quoted Socrates. Or here's a good one, specifying a moderation with "behave yourself" after you swore at nobody but an AI. I remember every instance of highly questionable moderation and internet stupidity, so thank you for not contributing to my archive.

You got a warning? 

[Consept]

44 minutes ago, bambi said:

The key is to narrow the pool of girls down and to focus on the ones who are compatible with what your USPs are, and not beating or dwelling on the cohort of girls you would want to be with anyway

Sleeping with tons of girls just for sexual pleasure (sex as a drug) is toxic, and is self-destructive, out of all the girls I slept with 5-10 to 15 max I actually genuinely had good sex, good compatbility, enjoyed hanging out with them, was good in all the ways. And 1 girl like this is worth 10,000 cheap one night stands.

I think the whole post had some great insights so thanks for sharing! I agree as well, i think as men we often judge ourselves on how many and how attractive the women we get are, not taking into account our own attraction to them as an individual. There will be certain women we're with where it just feels smooth and easy and these always lead to more satisfying relationships, short or long term. So i think as you say, its really about working out what you want and what suits you. 

[Thought Art]

4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It is funny how this forum claims to have uncovered the deepest truths while we don't even understand a f-ing woman.

People on here are all different. Most of us are full of shit to some degree and lack experience in many areas of life. Awakening is one line of development. There are different lines of development and types of development.

[Leo Gura]

10 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

To chase truth you don't need genetics.

Yes, you do.

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

I am still curious about what women are really looking for in physical attraction.

Just the inverse of what you're looking for: masculine features and health features.

[ZenAlex]

19 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, you do.

Agreed. You cannot chase truth if you're so mentally disabled you don't even know what is going on in the room around you.

[Buck Edwards]

40 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Just the inverse of what you're looking for: masculine features and health features.

A girl told me that she looks for emotional safety in men.

42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, you do.

How?? 

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

A girl told me that she looks for emotional safety in men.

That's what she wants from a relationship. That is not what creates attraction.

Edited February 28 by Leo Gura

[Yousif]

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Between 70%-90% of women don't reach orgasms with penetration alone. So a 2 incher still has potential to make a woman cum if he knows how. 

You all keep getting stuck and emotional about the content, while I’m trying to explain the structure of the situation of genetics and how it can limit you and there’s basically nothing you can do about it. 
 

like my other example of I would probably never make it in the NBA if I was 5’5. 

[Yousif]

My whole point was that my dog , no matter how hard he tries to talk, chances are he’ll never be able to, the examples were just examples of this, don’t take it to personally it was just to show this point, I know it could be hard to accept one’s own genetics and abilities that one has in this life time but guess what, knowing the truth of the matter instead of lying to yourself about it or not accepting that as a human you’ll never grow wings and fly like a bird, don’t give these truths a negative connotation and get mad about it, it is what it is and it’s better to know your limitations and work with them then delude yourself into thinking that even if you’re 5’5 with enough hard work you’ll make it in the NBA, can you see how knowing this can save you on a lot of time and suffering???! 

[Girzo]

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Between 70%-90% of women don't reach orgasms with penetration alone. So a 2 incher still has potential to make a woman cum if he knows how. 

What if it's because 70-90% of dicks are insufficient for that or their users very bad at using them?  That's an exercise in recontextualisation for ya.

If a man is somehow lacking in that regard, then obviously it's time to put one's shoulder to the wheel and learn how to use fingers or toys. Being great at dirty talk can also compensate for things. No need to make oneself a victim for having a less than average dick.

Edited February 28 by Girzo

[Thought Art]

1 hour ago, Bandman said:

How about no.

Go out and meet a girl. Go meet a bunch.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Girzo said:

What if it's because 70-90% of dicks are insufficient for that or their users very bad at using them?  That's an exercise in recontextualisation for ya.

If a man is somehow lacking in that regard, then obviously it's time to put one's shoulder to the wheel and learn how to use fingers or toys. Being great at dirty talk can also compensate for things. No need to make oneself a victim for having a less than average dick.

you are missing the point just like many men do. It is not the inadequacy of the external male's genitalia, but more about how most women cannot have orgasms just through penile penetration alone. Most need clitoral stimulation which thrusting alone cannot achieve. Only a small percentage are able to achieve this. 

Why does it have to be a matter of lacking or feeling like a victim or thinking that men are the problem, it's none of these things. It's about the structure of the vagina. Some can achieve orgasms through penetration alone, but most do not. Has nothing to do with a man's inabilities. If you need to do a Google search on this to understand what I'm saying here because I just did (not for confirmation, but just to see what is being said about this). If you have a week to spare, you can go ahead and take a look and probably learn a thing or two because it's all over on numerous platforms and quite a few websites.

The problem with most men is they don't take the time to learn about the women they're so adamantly chasing and wanting so bad to get laid with, they just take it for granted that we're just simple beings biologically and that as long as the guy has a big dick everything should be fine and dandy unaware of the fact that most times it's only good for letting us scream and moan but when it comes to having an orgasm it's an entirely different story. 

You guys can go ahead and keep blabbering about attractiveness and genetics and whatever else, but the real issue is how well do you know a woman's body. Not too many, and of course, not too many care to. Most are only concerned with how many hot chicks they can get and their own sexual gratification. I've met a few guys who genuinely cared about giving a woman pleasure how she liked it and asked what made her cum, but not many do as it's not their prime concern and most don't even know how. A woman can fake being pleasured by a big dick and even fake her orgasms, and many do, so don't be fooled into thinking that you have satisfied her all the time by a few moan and groans because of your big dick, even though it may feel good at times depending on if the guy knows what he's doing but a far cry from actually making her cum with just penetration alone.

Nothing I said here was pertaining to you personally, only the first two paragraphs which was in response to your original comment. The rest was just me blabbering on.

 

[Consept]

Ive had some thoughts about this, so I want to break down this topic -

Everyone is born with particular genetic advantages and disadvantages, if we use a rating system, imagine on a game, you would have a score out of 10 for each category. In this case we'll focus on categories that are important for a man to attract and keep a mate, so lets say the following (I know I will miss out some)

-Looks

-Ambition 

- Masculinity

- Athleticism/Aesthetic Body 

-Emotional Intelligence  

-Intelligence 

- Social ability 

- Confidence 

-Sense of Humour 

-Style

-work ethic/mindset

Now we all have these attributes to different degrees, the genetic (although some of these can come through nurture) component is your potential level these can go up to. So for example you might have great genetics for intelligence, so naturally your a 6 without much effort, but if you work on it you could be a 9, however you may not work on it or may not get the necessary coaching you needed to get there and so you will stay at a 6. Whereas someone not as gifted as you, whos top level of potential is only a 7 from a starting point of 4, could overtake the genetically gifted 6, if they work really hard, essentially the old saying - 'hard work beats talent, when talent doesnt work hard'. 

So this brings us to looks, because they are the first thing people see they are a big factor in terms of attraction, so they can definitely get your foot in the door. However, if you are low on a lot of the other factors, it will still be very hard for you to attract someone. Lets say you were good looking but really low on masculinity or confidence, you would still have trouble, if not initially, definitely in a long terms relationship. 

Looks are also notable because there is only so much you can do with your looks, so the increase in score for that category is not that high. If you made sure that you had a good haircut, good skincare, teeth etc it still wouldnt boost your looks up that much, maybe a point at best. So the payoff is not great. However if you worked on say your body, you could go from skinny to a good, muscular size which would then boost that ranking up a few spots in terms of attraction. Same with confidence, if you worked on that it could make you a lot more attractive. 

The problem is, people tend to focus on looks because that is the first thing people see but its actually not even the most attractive. Something like ambition which could lead to status would actually be more attractive if you get there. Also there is more emphasis on looks because of social media and dating apps where looks are everything, they have always been important but the current landscape has supercharged them. So if youre not ranked high for looks it is very detrimental for you to be on apps. You may get away with it if youre able to properly demonstrate your higher ranking criteria, so if you can get across how ambitious you are or your sense of humour. What guys miss is that they only show off their looks which puts them in direct competition with guys higher ranked in looks. 

Regarding the ranking system as well, most people will get to a point where they are 'good enough' and stay there. Meaning if you get to say a 7 for athleticism, you will start seeing results for that, so your motivation to get to a 9 or 10 will most likely not be there. Usually if you are genetically strong in one area it takes away your motivation to get better in that area because you may see yourself as gifted. Whereas someone who is lower in athleticism will be more motivated to work harder. But there are very few that are both genetically gifted and incredibly hard working, these are real outliers who are at the top of their field, if you think football, someone like Ronaldo who was probably a 7 at football genetically got up to a 9 or 10 through hard work, most at a 7 would have a great career anyway and dont get to those levels Ronaldo set.

So the best thing is to work out what your strength's and weaknesses are, you want to be at least average in all and then excel in as many as you have a genetic proclivity for. So for example i might double down on Athleticism and emotional intelligence, which then gives me a usp with potential partners that they wouldnt get elsewhere. But I also need to work hard to be more social and confident, because without those I wouldnt have a chance to show my strong points.

 

[Timur]

It is a very interesting discussion and sensible topic. 

People do usually not like to talk about genetic advantages. The majority of people would rather live in denial rather than accepting that a tiny fraction of humans have won the genetic lottery and are highly privileged in that regard.

I would like to give you two of my personal experiences with genetic advantages and disadvantages.

During my last three years of high school I had a very disciplined lifting phase. I lifted four to six times per week, had the right diet with a caloric surplus and gave my best. After three years I looked better than the average person who does some sports in his life. But guess what, there were some guys who looked better than me after one year of lifting. I never understood why, till I came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with my diet not being good enough or my training not being hard enough. It was simply my genetic disadvantage in building muscle.

After finishing high school I started my studies in chemical engineering in one of the best universities in Germany. In the first semester there were almost a thousand college students sitting in the lecture hall and listening to the advanced maths I course. Guess what, in the second semester over the half was gone, even though a lot of them studied non-stop. To be honest I studied less than half than the average college student and I still got my Masters of Science in eleven semesters and got straight B‘s, while gaining 1,5 years of internship experience. Did I achieve these results because of my time management skills and productivity. Yes, that was sure an important parameter to success in my university days. But ultimately it came down to one thing…Genetic advantage.

 

 

Edited February 28 by Timur