Can you help me convince myself to take a break?

[Keryo Koffa]

I started psychedelics exactly 5 months ago. I solved lots of neuroses on my first trip which opened me up to go journeying and I had 3 more trips that week doubling the dose each time. I got in tune with my body, then my heart and also reached my limits on the last trip which felt like amnesia but I learned lots there too. I came back weeks later and continued, profoundly questioning the structure of society, my capabilities and the nature of human behavior. The next trips led me to question fear, learn to surrender and epistemology. Weeks later I was more active than ever, became more athletic, present and also interested in the 60s psychedelic generation and aliens. Weeks later yet I tried hyper-heroic doses to dissolve as far as possible and that filled me with amazing ideas and eventually taught me the value of the duality of surrender to that which I can't control and at the same time of growing myself experientially to be capable of carrying ever greater burdens and weights. A week later, I explored metaphysical ideas of material and immaterial reality. And a week later I explored the consistent change of my self as I saw my body consistently materialize and dematerialize while I as the perceiver remained a constant.

And now which is weeks later after that, I got into the habit of daily psychedelic use and I feel like it would be more beneficial to integrate and space out the trips to reset tolerance and adjust my baseline to the insights and build myself up naturally. At the same time, psychedelics feel like accelerationism and I feel like I'm sprinting and throwing a ball in front of me and psychedelics are the acceleration that I do to speed up and catch that ball which has additional momentum and I run faster as a result, repeating that motion. If I could be psychedelic all the time and integrate that level of awareness, I could be doing 10 things simultaneously full of passion, my body intuitively carrying out motions and recognizing meta-patterns, handling everything like inverse kinematics.

Lately, I've recognized myself repeating the routine, of the first half of the day filling myself up with existential dread and psychic pain that feels like the lowest low and the later half of the day moving like a sinewave to immense energy, presence and appreciation. Each evening, seemingly independent of when I too psychedelics or if I even did, I am overcome with great calmness and an amazing perceptual clarity, seeing my environment in vast detail in the reflection of surfaces, the strength of colors and an amazing overarching focus of all things simultaneously.

It's like, when I take psychedelics, I recontextualize all context I have, and any next trip recontextualizes my recontextualization, leading to exponential expanding of my understanding, and because of that, it feels like I'm limiting my potential when not tripping. Though it would teach me much to gather more data and experiences before tripping anew, despite the fact that it appears unnecessary because on psychedelics insights just show themselves to be outside anything I can conceive at the time.

[Keryo Koffa]

Another part of it is the idea Leo mentioned, that the ego constructs fear to maintain a limited identity, which can manifest itself in the feeling of wanting to stop doing psychedelics. So I thought: "Okay, no matter how terrible I feel, and maybe especially when I feel the worst, that's exactly why I should trip, to feel as bad as I can feel, in order to integrate that and as a result also experience the flipside of that". But then, when do I stop? I feel like I've done this enough and I'm not afraid of doing more, but that I should leave some room for non-psychedelic integration, adjustment and reset tolerance, and also max out and break the limits that I have to the extent that I can without psychedelics and push myself towards that as hard as possible.

[Thought Art]

The integration is as important as the trip. Also important to do and learn manual spiritual practices like breathwork, yoga, and Qigong. 
 

Tripping a lot can be risky so be careful. 
 

At the end of the day sober living is the goal. Which, means living in truth which can be hard to do if you’re tripping all the time. 

I find myself often sober, crying tears of joy and love. Which, is a result of a combination of many techniques.

Edited February 23 by Thought Art

[Javfly33]

yes, take bigger breaks, with the exception of some psychedelics, most of them due end up causing tolerance

[Rigel]

You seem to be clear about the fact that you want to take a break. There is nothing more you need to know. Do it.

Addicts don't like to hear that cause they think the object of their addiction is doing it to them & thus seek an outside solution but the fact is that they are doing it to themselves. You can just stop right now if that's what you want. Addicts don't stop their behavior cause they don't want to. You have 100% responsibility for your behavior in any given moment.

Do you actually want to stop? You can either take it or not. What do you actually want? Figure that out & then do it.

(Unless it's physiological in nature where your body could shut down & die from going cold turkey. That is not the case with psychedelics & a million other subtle addictions.)

Some addicts are so far gone in victimhood that it's actually counter productive to tell them like it is. I am not saying that's you. Just throwing my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.

[CoolDreamThanks]

Lol, just look at Leo. He was in infinite love a thousand times and he's as shitty and practically at the same level of consciousness as he was when he started. Sure he has a lot of new concepts, many of them untrue, some of them true, but that's keeping him from actually going to Love, since God is reached when all concepts are cleared out. There is no integration of psychedelics, it's just a glimpse that closes down and tricks you into believing you are advancing. Drop psychadelics for a month and then see if you integrated or really improved. You'll see that you're back at square 1. 

[Javfly33]

54 minutes ago, CoolDreamThanks said:

 There is no integration of psychedelics, it's just a glimpse that closes down and tricks you into believing you are advancing. 

Spot on. Hard words but true. @CoolDreamThanks

At least in my experience it was like that.

It came a point where I realized, no, im just hamster wheeling myself with psychedelics, im actually not going anywhere.

Took me 6-7 years to see the 'trick'! (Although im not saying the trips were worthless. They had their usefulness in opening up other more stable possibilities)

 

Edited February 23 by Javfly33

[Yimpa]

5 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Took me 6-7 years to see the 'trick'! (Although im not saying the trips were worthless. They had their usefulness in opening up other more stable possibilities)

Intriguing, it took me that long to get off of daily stimulant medications.

[Javfly33]

2 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Intriguing, it took me that long to get off of daily stimulant medications.

addys?

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

addys?

Vyvanse, and I did use addy on and off. All done legally.

Just cus it’s legal doesn’t mean it can’t have consequences!

[Jehovah increases]

Time for a break then decide? Surely with all the insights from your trips and watching Leo's work you should already know the answer.

[Leo Gura]

Daily use can lead to some serious problems after a while.

If you feel you need a break, then you need a break.

Better to go slow and steady than fast and reckless. It's too easy to overdo psychedelics.

Edited February 24 by Leo Gura

[Javfly33]

10 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Vyvanse, and I did use addy on and off. All done legally.

Just cus it’s legal doesn’t mean it can’t have consequences!

My consecuences were that at the comedown i would spent 6 hours looking at porn lmao.

I cant handle stims 

[Girzo]

@Keryo Koffa What substance exactly are you taking every day?

[Starlight321]

15 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Spot on. Hard words but true. @CoolDreamThanks

At least in my experience it was like that.

It came a point where I realized, no, im just hamster wheeling myself with psychedelics, im actually not going anywhere.

Took me 6-7 years to see the 'trick'! (Although im not saying the trips were worthless. They had their usefulness in opening up other more stable possibilities)

 

Hehe, I had exacly the same insight after using them for almost a year twice a month. I realized that I still suffer and had to work on myself. Then the real deal began. Later psychedelics a few times a year were really helpful for healing and afterwards the integration was important.

[Paradoxed]

Psychedelics can become a complete trick. You are constantly having insights with a never-ending pursuit of spiritual truths. This paradoxically becomes a huge distraction from spiritual truth. It's antithetical to what you need, which is deep acceptance and appreciation for life and God without the constant use of drugs. When I behaved this way, I felt disconnected from "normal" people (people who didn't rely on psychedelics to be happy) and was really just addicted to drugs, wanting to escape my responsibilities. I even justified this, saying things to myself like "I've dedicated my life to the psychedelic journey and exploring different states of consciousness". Lol

I would behave this way so often that I didn't even feel like a person. I would overthink everything and constantly relate everything back to traumas of my childhood or societal constructs. Everything is normal life was bullshit to me. My anxieties worsened. There was nothing natural about my behavior, everything I did I was being so psychoanalytical  in such a weird unhealthy way. And I was constantly trying to go deeper and deeper, to try to gain more and more insight. This is just a recipe for disaster, its a trick. I was just addicted to the psychedelic headspace I found myself in and justified my addiction by claiming to be some sort of truth seeker.

Depending on what substances you are taking regularly there are just pragmatic mental health reasons to stop, like developing HPPD, de-realization, de personalization, developing antisocial tendencies, etc.

I have realized how badly I need sobriety and to know God with a clear mind. So I have quit the constant mushroom chocolate intake, doing LSD all the time, constantly smoking weed, DMT or 5meo. I've been sober from psychedelics for a few weeks and have quit smoking weed just recently, 3 days completely sober from that. Weed is the hardest to stop. So don't be like me and justify all this behavior. Get on the sober bandwagon. It will seem silly what you are doing once you remove yourself from it.

Edited February 24 by Paradoxed

[Yimpa]

I don’t take strict breaks. I let my intuition be my guide. Nonetheless, don’t take breaks for granted. 

Newbies don’t have a good grasp at this, hence why starting slow and small is even more critical for them.

Edited February 24 by Yimpa

[Davino]

@Keryo Koffa mmm

This point was inevitable for you. I have been telling you for months now that your psychedelic journeys were too long, deep and consistent over time. 

You surprised me in that honestly, haven't seen such psychedelic dedication in a long time here.

The moment has arrived to forget psychedelics for a while, take some holidays!

When you swing the pendulum one side it will go to the other side sooner or later. Be VERY careful with the ego backlash that will come when you stop using. It's gonna be an intense integration. If you succeed and complete this process, when you return back you will be amazed how much better your trips have become. Hopefully you listen to this message. I feel a connection and sympathy with you, I know you have to live these things for yourself to really learn, but wiser is the one who can learn from the experience of others