Help leaving addictions

[sleep]

Im a pretty heavy user of drugs, the main ones being alcohol, weed and cigarettes. I think the main one is cigarettes, though. There is just something so soothing about the act of smoking for me. Guess im stuck in the oral phase. 

Ive tried leaving cigarettes many time and have succeeded for a few weeks a couple of times, but I always end up coming back to it. If I dont control myself I end up smoking a pack a day. Its gotten to the point where I have trouble breathing and my body hurts. 

Rn im using an app called "I am sober" which is supposed to help leave addictions, and it helps somewhat, but I cant seem to quit completely. I thinkt he reason is that I dont have many things I enjoy and smoking is one of the few ones I like. Im not even sure I want to quit, even though I know its the rational thing to do and im starting to suffer the consequences. Anyone here has had any luck with addictions? Any tips you could offer are much appreciated. 

[Paradoxed]

You need to deconstruct your addiction to these substances and realize you are deeply unhappy because you are doing them. You are doing them because you think they help the exact thing they are causing. Cigarettes and alcohol give you something to turn to, something to "do" about emotional stress. So in a sense it gives you a sense of certainty- every time I feel any emotion, positive or negative, I can smoke a cigarette to either enhance that moment or escape from a negative emotional state. Self development will stimulate the same mental high that smoking gives you. Smoking actually makes you feel horrible. Same with alcohol. You have to full deconstruct your addiction and realize that these substances are the biggest cause of your turmoil.

Before you quit, you have to see yourself as a non-smoker. Same with alcohol. You have to fully believe and become obsessed with the idea of being free from these substances.

The idea of being a non-smoker or non-drinker has to make you feel good. You have to believe it is possible to quit.
 

Don't fall into the illusion that it will  be difficult to quit. If you believe this, it will be true. Once I accepted that I wanted to quit, and accepted that it would be easy to quit when I was ready, I just stopped one day without any issues. And I had been smoking since I was 15 and struggled many times to stop.

Listen to Allen Carr's easy way on tape or read the book. It is suggested that you keep smoking and enjoying the practice of smoking while reading. By the end of the book you will not want to smoke as it will help you deconstruct why you are doing it. Once you understand why you are doing it, you don't want to do it anymore. It feels stupid. This happened to me halfway through the audio book. I knew that I wouldn't go back and I had quit for good.

[Yimpa]

To treat drug addiction, use drugs

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/media/releases/magic_mushrooms_help_longtime_smokers_quit

[mmKay]

@sleep

It feels to me you're using these substances as an emotional coping mechanism to compensate for needs that aren't being met.

I would recommend being compassionate and understanding with yourself. It's self medication and you're doing what you can.

 

The things that make a psychologically healthy individual are very definable , and if some pillars are missing , and the person doesnt possess the mental tools necesarly to cope with the situation , he will turn to distractions ( what I call self medication) as an emotional band aid to deal with the confusion, pain , anxiety or whatever the case is.

It's helping yourself however you are able to.

My point is that you first have to identify why do you need a crutch in th  first place before trying to kick it, and then wonder why you limp and feel the need to go to the crutch.

What do you have going on for you? 

What do you wish to have going on for you?

What specifically do you not have going on for you that you desire or feel a lack of?

 

Feel free to provide any extra context that you may find relevant 

Edited February 22 by mmKay

[Yimpa]

11 minutes ago, mmKay said:

It's self medication and you're doing what you can.

This is important. For those with addictions and mental health conditions, self medication can only get you so far with your recovery. In fact, it can actually make your conditions worse. Best to seek professional help when using medication / substances. I am glad that modern society is becoming more open to using psychedelics and cannabis as serious tools for healing.

[Raze]

Read the easy way to stop drinking and recovery by Russell brand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3JLaF_4Tz8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_dawQLA-mA

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf

[Ishanga]

The only way to really beat Addictions is the make Yourself in a way where Your natural Bliss is more powerful than the feeling You get from the drug or whatever it is your Addicted to, the problem is your body and mind are wired to that thing.. So it takes allot of work to get that natural Bliss, but it is possible.

Don't try to think or analyse your way out of it, just start some simple practices and lower your usage then go from there, replace natural bliss for the drug, but make it slow and steady! Good Luck:)

 

[Javfly33]

@Ishanga I literally watched that video of sadhguru when he uploaded it and after 4 days I completely dropped smoking lmao what a guy.

However if the OP is smoking a pack a day he should really try to at least minimise it. That amount each day is really dangerous for you @sleep Quitting smoking completely can be tricky, but reducing the amount shouldn´t be very difficult. Unless you are going through an intense emotional/thought crisis though. As an ex smoker, Is the only moments when I couldn´t stop smoking. But unless you are in constant survival/stress mode, there is no excuse for you to at least reduce it to 10 cigs a day. 

Edited February 25 by Javfly33

[Princess Arabia]

It's important to note that addiction can be hidden and is not subjected to smoking, alcoholism and drug use. So just telling OP it's a coping mechanism or to just try and quit or to seek help, which is all good advice, will only lead to another addiction of some sort.

We are all being distracted in some way shape or form and are all using coping mechanisms in some way shape or form. Do you not think excessive shopping, excessive need for sex, excessive need to always be working, excessive eating, drinking soda, eating junk food, excessive talking, excessive use of this forum,,.....i mean we are all distracting ourselves from ourselves. It's just cigarettes and drinking and drug use are the most noticeable. 

Life itself is a distraction and a coping mechanism. We have separated ourselves from our SELF and are finding ways and means to get back to the SELF. That's all that life's about.

Edited February 25 by Princess Arabia

[Paradoxed]

21 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's important to note that addiction can be hidden and is not subjected to smoking, alcoholism and drug use. So just telling OP it's a coping mechanism or to just try and quit or to seek help, which is all good advice, will only lead to another addiction of some sort.

We are all being distracted in some way shape or form and are all using coping mechanisms in some way shape or form. Do you not think excessive shopping, excessive need for sex, excessive need to always be working, excessive eating, drinking soda, eating junk food, excessive talking, excessive use of this forum,,.....i mean we are all distracting ourselves from ourselves. It's just cigarettes and drinking and drug use are the most noticeable. 

Life itself is a distraction and a coping mechanism. We have separated ourselves from our SELF and are finding ways and means to get back to the SELF. That's all that life's about.

Some coping mechanisms are better for you than others.

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Paradoxed said:

Some coping mechanisms are better for you than others.

Depends on who is coping and what from. A drug addict can recognize, go to therapy and quit, while a shopping addict can go on shopping and becomes a broke ass ex shopping addict till they die. Just an example. Which one was better off.

Edited February 25 by Princess Arabia

[Javfly33]

29 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Depends on who is coping and what from. A drug addict can recognize, go to therapy and quit, while a shopping addict can go on shopping and becomes a broke ass ex shopping addict till they die. Just an example. Which one was better off.

How about those losers that get hard sending money to women 🤡 That´s quite the addiction too 👁️

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

How about those losers that get hard sending money to women 🤡 That´s quite the addiction too 👁️

The addiction isn't in the sending money to women and more of the feeling that one gets by doing that. Could be an addiction of feeling self-importance, self-worthiness, an addiction to a certain emotion. Those can become addictions too. It's not a matter of the $$ nor the women. If that person felt a sense of completion doing something else, it would be that something too. Take the contents out the equation. They mean nothing, only what you give it. It's the underlying need for the need to feel fulfilled that drives the addiction. All addictions are rooted in the same thing. No need to demonize those men.(not saying you are, just in general). It's a feeling they are looking for that they are unaware of how to generate from within. We all do that. It's the content of our addictions that's different.

[Javfly33]

54 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The addiction isn't in the sending money to women and more of the feeling that one gets by doing that. Could be an addiction of feeling self-importance, self-worthiness, an addiction to a certain emotion. Those can become addictions too. It's not a matter of the $$ nor the women. If that person felt a sense of completion doing something else, it would be that something too. Take the contents out the equation. They mean nothing, only what you give it. It's the underlying need for the need to feel fulfilled that drives the addiction. All addictions are rooted in the same thing. No need to demonize those men.(not saying you are, just in general). It's a feeling they are looking for that they are unaware of how to generate from within. We all do that. It's the content of our addictions that's different.

💙I know. Wise message, totally agree. 

[Yimpa]

Treating addiction long-term requires forgiveness and self-acceptance, both of which take time to develop. 

This does not come from an act of punishment, but rather, from a place of maturity and wisdom.

Edited February 25 by Yimpa

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@Ishanga I literally watched that video of sadhguru when he uploaded it and after 4 days I completely dropped smoking lmao what a guy.

However if the OP is smoking a pack a day he should really try to at least minimise it. That amount each day is really dangerous for you @sleep Quitting smoking completely can be tricky, but reducing the amount shouldn´t be very difficult. Unless you are going through an intense emotional/thought crisis though. As an ex smoker, Is the only moments when I couldn´t stop smoking. But unless you are in constant survival/stress mode, there is no excuse for you to at least reduce it to 10 cigs a day. 

Some people are immune to the effects of smoking. Crazy huh? https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-aged-112-says-secret-7246844

It's all relative.

[Butters]

I did nicotine patches, worked for me. 

1. Take shower in the morning

2. Put patch on right after

3. Do your day, slowly you will feel the nicotine

4. Don't smoke 

You can do Wim Hoff breathing for good breathing and enough oxygen to your blood. Keep doing the patches and slowly reduce the dose (they go in steps 3, 2, 1). You can do patches for as long as you need, they're good for you. 

But if you still drink and smoke weed you're probably gonna fuck up through that anyway, so try to trim those down as well. You can do it, so many people have, you just need to make the commitment with no other possibility. 

Edited February 25 by Butters

[Yimpa]

@Butters congrats! How long have you been off cigarettes?

[Daniel123]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

All addictions are rooted in the same thing. No need to demonize those men.(not saying you are, just in general). It's a feeling they are looking for that they are unaware of how to generate from within. We all do that. It's the content of our addictions that's different.

I feel this needs to be underscored, as it is such a valuable insight to have.

It absolutely does not matter, what you are addicted to, be it drugs, sex, gambling, or subtler things like affection or pleasing people. You are not really addicted to those things, but to the sensations and emotions they evoke. It is often a combination of craving pleasant sensations as you anticipate the relaxation after smoking the cigarette combined with an aversion to the jitteriness and anxiety  you feel when you haven't smoked in a while.

A very conscious approach to tackling this issue would be to just sit there very attentively and let every emotion come up and look at it without resisting, knowing it will pass away as any sensation always does. And eventually it will become weaker and weaker.

Problem is, it's often not that easy, as you are in the habit of generating resistance to it and with resistance comes suffering along the way. Also the mental pattern will change and suggest it is the best course of action for you to have a smoke.

So as a more practical approach, aside from trying nicotine gum and patches and slowly weaning yourself off, you could try this: Look at the emotion as described above and whenever a point comes where you just cannot take it anymore, be kind to yourself and allow yourself a cigarette. BUT as you do it, don't beat yourself up for it. Don't distract yourself as you unwrap the cig and light it. Smell it with all your attention. See how it tastes and feels when you inhale each puff. Make it conscious, don't distract yourself, don't resist it, don't beat yourself up for "failing". You will most likely find that after a while, your body will reject the cigarette naturally and the desire will fade away.

Good luck!

Edited February 25 by Daniel123