Is There a Way to Unwire the Need For Socialization?

[Insightful27]

Recently, I've been interested in unwiring the need for socializing because I think that it is reducing my happiness and holding me back. Logistically, it is hard to find people who share the same values and interests as I do. In my mind, the ideal situation is that I would be totally content with myself at home working on my Life Purpose, but in reality, that very quickly leads to loneliness and boredom. I know people who have such a low tolerance for socializing that they can do exactly what I just described, and I am wondering if any of you have found a way to grow this ability and not be lonely while being alone. It is easier to be happy when you don't have desires and needs, like socializing. Even though this seems like a personality problem, I'm hoping there is a solution. 

 

A couple of caveats to get out of the way: 

-Yes, I understand that socializing is an important part of life, and I'm not talking about isolating myself or abandoning social life

-The word "need" is significant; I want to relinquish the "need" for socializing in the same way one might relinquish the "need" for approval

-I understand that we are social animals, but in all other aspects of our "animal" nature, we seem to be okay attempting to unwire those desires. Why can't we do the same for socialization? 

 

[Miguel1]

I understand how you feel. I used to be very similar. I tried very hard. I tried 3 months of purely meditation and limited human contact.

But eventually I had to come back. I then just came to accept it as necessity part of the adventure of human life, which includes the need for food, sleep etc. as well.

I’m sure there are a rare few who can actually skip or limit socialization very much.

But I would also argue that some people who supposedly ”dont need socialization at all / need just a bit”, are just very unskilled at it and it’s easier to accept it than go through the pain of learning the skill.

And the same case was with me. I had periods where I was very against socialization but looking back, mostly it was simply because I didn’t know how to have fun, be charismatic and make friends.

And so, perhaps if you also had a ton of fun (it’s a skill to let go of our seriousness, and tap into the fooling around part of ourselves - especially since we are so serious and logical on actualized), while socializing - maybe you would also enjoy it much more 😊

[meta_male]

Same as @Miguel1 I went months without socializing and eventually had to come back. I did find a way for me to not feel lonely but it leads down a rabbit hole.

I think that if you were surrounded by people who do share your values you weren't interested in unwiring the need for it, right? Also, where do you intend to stop? What about the need for sleep? Or food?

[Applegarden8]

I am pretty far down in the bat cave. I have a long way to go in order to truly sit alone and some instincts and forces of society play aginst me, meanwhile I also find socializing pretty boring, however that might also not be true in reality and it's just my inability to authentically communicate, but then I see how transactional, inauthentic and manipulative a lot of relationships around me are and it makes me sad.

I have done the groundwork for that loner lifestyle and I plan to live it, because I feel there is nothing better to do than contemplate and meditate. Life in general and life purpose takes most of my energy anyway so I have to figure how to make myself most healthy and minimalistic and to really build that base for the future, knowing very well that I can die any day, it's quite an interesting paradox.

But I want to face my traumas, self-destructive patterns, life-negative assumptions so that I am truly not an issue in my life because of my lifestyle. Accidents or me being killed even is not that much of a problem but if I robbed my life, it's something that's hard to not regret because I have the tools to do it now.

I think there are ways to really do it, if you touch some siddhis of the human body or your awakening is just a little too imbalanced that you just disregard certain aspects of your life and probably the people who did it successfully are not on this forum.

Edited February 13 by Applegarden8

[Yimpa]

Instead of avoiding socialization altogether, learn to socialize in ways that work for you. There isn’t just one or two ways to develop new connections, just like how fitness doesn’t mean just bodybuilding or jogging. 

[CoolDreamThanks]

Yes, meditation.

[mmKay]

I don't think you can unwire the need for socialization. It's one of the basic human needs.  What you can do is meet your needs in a more conscious way that you enjoy more.

 

 

Or get a disabled dog to take care of

[Dauntment]

Yes, Insanity. If you're actually serious & interested in "forfeiting socialization", you should start dabbling with Insanity and enter Madness. From here, you will be exploring Infinite Consciousness.

You probably want to continue occupying The Social Matrix/"Humanity" lol.....

[Creatorbeing]

Most of the time I'm alone in my room ,doing whatever I wish to do,study and experiment with freedom...

10 years have passed ..

I never felt lonely...

Even if no one existed ,I don't think it may have effected me...

But I do look for certain things like tasty food supply, movie supply ,video games supple ,new music supply ..

And infinite open world with only me...

That would be fun..

The characters of movie will be fictional made by Advanced technology...

Computers maybe...

I like it alone because no argument, no fights,no wars,no jealousy ..

No ego fights...

No pain...no drama of human relationships..

All gone,only one person in mirror-Self and everything rocks...

I like it u know...

It makes me happy....

With no human, no slaves,no control...

Laws,crime....

Population and resources exploitation problems..

All vanish...

Haahaa, very beautiful....

No one will decide u what to do..

Because u are alone ...

So beautiful..see...

Being alone isn't negative...

Not socializing isn't negative if u change the way u see it...

Simply a change perspective  worldview...

I AM ....

Being alone is power...

It has spiritual power as well because if u can be alone u have mastered an aspect of absolute reality not everything, an aspect...

Alone

[Princess Arabia]

39 minutes ago, Creatorbeing said:

Most of the time I'm alone in my room ,doing whatever I wish to do,study and experiment with freedom...

10 years have passed ..

I never felt lonely...

Even if no one existed ,I don't think it may have effected me...

But I do look for certain things like tasty food supply, movie supply ,video games supple ,new music supply ..

And infinite open world with only me...

That would be fun..

The characters of movie will be fictional made by Advanced technology...

Computers maybe...

I like it alone because no argument, no fights,no wars,no jealousy ..

No ego fights...

No pain...no drama of human relationships..

All gone,only one person in mirror-Self and everything rocks...

I like it u know...

It makes me happy....

With no human, no slaves,no control...

Laws,crime....

Population and resources exploitation problems..

All vanish...

Haahaa, very beautiful....

No one will decide u what to do..

Because u are alone ...

So beautiful..see...

Being alone isn't negative...

Not socializing isn't negative if u change the way u see it...

Simply a change perspective  worldview...

I AM ....

Being alone is power...

It has spiritual power as well because if u can be alone u have mastered an aspect of absolute reality not everything, an aspect...

Alone

I guess you're alone here too. Why bother write anything. 

[Creatorbeing]

Princess Arabia....

Because I'm happy to join this forum...

I was excited to be Part of a spiritual community with which I can share my understandings and experiences...

Mostly my understandings and experiences are individual path. .got alone no one to talk to or share to,religious family ...so u can't say these things...haahaa 

So finally I got in Mr.leo gura forum and got accepted ,It makes Me excited...

Now even though in reality they say u are alone ,on your own...

It's fun to play this game of life....

It's like willing participation...

 

I wish to participate in these activities Because I'm excited to do so...

One grows and evolves with interaction with others ..so it's all evolution...

And experience of others is my experience of myself...

So ,I think both are true ...

Whether u wish to socialize or not ,both are valid based on how u see it...

I have my friends based mostly they are busy in studies engineering....

But I have social contact...

Those friends are very loyal and rare...

They are like gems I found...That's all I feel to say ..for now..

 

[Raze]

If you get into location 4 of the finders course

[Yimpa]

No need to when you fully realize how  ridiculous humans are 

Humans can be very entertaining. 

Edited February 14 by Yimpa

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

No need to when you fully realize how  ridiculous humans are 

Humans are beautiful, I like humans, overall.

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Humans are beautiful, I like humans, overall.

I love to observe human behavior while I do my DoorDashing job. Observation is a priceless asset. 

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I love to observe human behavior while I do my DoorDashing job. Observation is a priceless asset. 

lol, the first thing i found on google is that :

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Doordashing

"The best place to order any food by you, at any time. Employees/your bitches come to your door and bring you food. Usually the customers have the name Nicole or Jill."

"A food ordering app that's likely exacerbating the obesity epidemic."

"An app that fat, lazy, entitled people use to order food so that a disgusting bum can go into a restaurant, get your food, put it in his van full of trash and an aroma of cat urine, and munch on some of your fries while driving around in circles pretending to find your home because their boss can probably track them. All for a restaurant that probably does delivery on their own. That’s what you get for stealing money from a business."

[Insightful27]

@Miguel1 Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I really resonated with a lot of what you said. I have been skeptical of myself not wanting to socialize because it is emotionally more comfortable. 

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, Insightful27 said:

I have been skeptical of myself not wanting to socialize because it is emotionally more comfortable. 

You may be simply used to socializing with the wrong crowd. Like being a square peg (you) trying to fit into a circle hole (places/people you’re used to socializing with).

[puporing]

I have almost no social needs now, just the rarest of "persons" who might be on a similar level of consciousness that I talk to from time to time, or posting stuff here for instance. Or you know, connect with some stranger/store owner. But I really don't have much interest otherwise. Most people are a pain in the butt to deal with , and likewise that's prob how they think of me.

Edited February 15 by puporing

[Insightful27]

On 2/14/2024 at 11:55 PM, Yimpa said:

You may be simply used to socializing with the wrong crowd. Like being a square peg (you) trying to fit into a circle hole (places/people you’re used to socializing with).

The question is how do I find the places and people like me.... Have you had success doing this?