Easing myself out of ego and letting reality work itself out

[Keryo Koffa]

This time I'm reminded of the Buddhist path or as Yoda would say: "Let go of everything you fear to lose" but then also pull the carpet of "letting go of needing to let go" from under you. "Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment: chop wood, carry water".

I really don't wanna leave my identity/thoughts/ideas/emotions behind because its kinda scary how impersonal and "sterile" reality seems without them, like a random simulation, or even a material world without a consciousness to perceive it.

But to understand anything at all, you have to transcend the system that encompasses a duality and impersonally observe what is happening without judgement, and that will dissolve a lot of previously comfortable dogma. It also encompasses the ability of accepting ideas regardless of whether they're true or not.

For example, I'd like to continue existing in some shape or form after death, whether as god realized, reincarnated, as an astral form or whatever. But all of these are concepts and I can only speculate on observations, metaphors and wishful thinking.

So I keep imagining a Buddhist master asking me why I would need certain ideas to be true. And oftentimes, I don't want to think about it because I'm scared of losing something, and I do, but at the same time as far as I know, I'd lose it anyway at death and questioning and expanding my consciousness doesn't really take anything away from me, as much as it dissolves the barriers within me. The contents still exist and are liberated because of it to take any other shape and form and I am always able to come back.

But to truly accept and entertain the notion of taking a look outside the paradigm that includes something I'm attached to, it feel like jumping off a minor cliff. It's like the idea that if I mastered everything, I could do anything, but maybe no specific thing would be worthwhile to do anymore. Like I won't be able to realize my desires because my ego holds me back but if I let go of the ego, the desire might dissipate. Though that might really just reveal the truth.

I am getting more optimistic though at allowing this process to happen. My awareness bubble of senses/feelings/thoughts is but a small subset of reality and possible experience, and although I try to solve all my problems from inside of it, I always end up at the mercy of the grander world which I am interdependent upon.

So in the end, what happens happens regardless of what I want to happen and usually for the better. My ideas are faulty due to their limitation which is by design for me to be able to exist in time and space at all. Otherwise there would be no outside to observe and interact with to ponder and wonder at, to lose myself in.

Everything is infinitely interpretable, is god materializing top down, or consciousness arising bottom up, or objects interacting middle through, psychic or material, its all united and interconnected at all layers in some shape or form, does life evolve complexity to survive better, or is survival just a step in the evolution towards a beautiful expression of experience.

In the end, nothing is guaranteed and everything operates on faith at some level. I just gotta have faith that doing my best reality works out and not to be too obsessed with outcomes but enjoy what is, and how exactly is an infinitely complex question that nobody could live if they kept thinking about it to infinite detail.

Edited February 11 by Keryo Koffa

[Ishanga]

Don't be concerned with "Understanding" Reality, its too complex and at the same time simple, paradox galore, don't try to become "Enlightened" or "Awake", drop all labels and concepts, this is a huge problem today for ppl involved with the Spiritual World, way too many labels, concepts, ppl promoting concepts and talking too much..

Just gain some Clarity, Reality will work itself out, and that might mean a car is heading Your way, you have to have Clarity to see the car is heading towards You and You make a choice (Free Will) do I want to get out of the way or stay where I am, that is all there is too it, with Clarity life becomes a game, it is lived at Ease, which doesn't mean a Easy Life, but You go Untouched by it, Your Inner Nature is now in Your hands, then see what happens to Life and Reality and How You Perceive/Experience it...