How can I change my life?

[Sabth]

I just want a high quality life. 

I don't have work. I'm 28. I couldn't drive. I don't hv a good education. (Only up till high school). 

How can I do whatever I've ever wanted? 

I'm really clueless right now. 

 

Should I move to a different place? (But I didn't know how)

Should I get education? (I think it will put my life into place)

Idk what to do. I'm stuck in this country. In a home. It has been years that I'm here, but I don't go anywhere. I don't have freedom. So even though I'm here, it's all useless. 

Edited February 10 by Sabth

[thierry]

Start by accepting yourself right now as you are.

then try to incorporate productive things you like to do more and more in your life.

Be patient.

Get out of your confort zone whenever you can.

the more effort you put in yourself. The lighter your path will be.

[Sabth]

6 minutes ago, Sabth said:

Should I move to a different place? (But I didn't know how)

Should I get education? (I think it will put my life into place)

Idk what to do. I'm stuck in this country. In a home. It has been years that I'm here, but I don't go anywhere. I don't have freedom. So even though I'm here, it's all useless. 

I really, couldn't do anything. 

[thierry]

Sorry I did not see the whole post.

where are you located ? 
 

how are you surviving right now ? 
 

are you living with your parents ? 

[Sabth]

11 minutes ago, thierry said:

Sorry I did not see the whole post.

where are you located ? 
 

how are you surviving right now ? 
 

are you living with your parents ? 

I'm located in the place that I was born into. (But I grow up in different place) now I'm back. When I'm back, I have moved houses at least three times. And now I've been in this house since 2010. (Then there are five years when I'm living in a different state) but now I'm back. 

I'm not surviving. This place is a small place. I wish to live in a place where I had more freedom. 

I'm living with my parents since 2020

[Rafael Thundercat]

9 minutes ago, Sabth said:

I'm located in the place that I was born into. (But I grow up in different place) now I'm back. When I'm back, I have moved houses at least three times. And now I've been in this house since 2010. (Then there are five years when I'm living in a different state) but now I'm back. 

I'm not surviving. This place is a small place. I wish to live in a place where I had more freedom. 

I'm living with my parents since 2020

Is importat to give more context, at least about at least what State or City you are located because Geography play a lot in the matter. If you are young and life in isolated contryside you of course will have less expousure to new oportunites. I lived in the Mountains and the nature was amazing but socially I was lacking a lot so I moved to the city and next to the Beach where I can still have good ocean baths, clubs, social events if I want. 

So what you want if optionality. Options, so you will expand your soul. 

For now be very precise in you routine, diet and information consumption so you dont get distracted with unecessary bullshit that will not directly change your life. 

But again, if you want more help from people here you need to give more precise inputs of your context.

[Sabth]

1 minute ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

Is importat to give more context, at least about at least what State or City you are located because Geography play a lot in the matter. If you are young and life in isolated contryside you of course will have less expousure to new oportunites. I lived in the Mountains and the nature was amazing but socially I was lacking a lot so I moved to the city and next to the Beach where I can still have good ocean baths, clubs, social events if I want. 

So what you want if optionality. Options, so you will expand your soul. 

For now be very precise in you routine, diet and information consumption so you dont get distracted with unecessary bullshit that will not directly change your life. 

But again, if you want more help from people here you need to give more precise inputs of your context.

There is no safe beach in my state. It was an island. Last year we still go to the beach, but then they found a crocodile in that beach sometime later. So we could no longer enjoy the sea. It is not safe. 

Maybe I could go to the east or south of the island. 

The least that I wish for in this place that I'm living in right now is to have a car and being able to drive. And to be able to jog every morning . That's the least. But I couldn't. People who are my age have worked and drive around (that was a few years ago) now they must have been more experienced and evolved. While I'm stuck in my place. Still was drive by my parents.  

[Princess Arabia]

Change your story. Change your inner dialogue. Change your beliefs. Change your concept of yourself. Change the way you see yourself and the world around you. Ignore the contents of your life and see yourself where you want to be and stay there. It's the only way. The outside world is just a reflection of your inner state. 

[Yimpa]

Realize that You are God.

There are also many practical tips out there… you gotta explore what works for You.

[Sabth]

Of course I will never be able to change my life. I will be forever stuck in this city for years to come. I can't go out, I can't go back to my childhood place. I will never make money in my life and forever not have a career.  I will be stuck in this city living minimally until the day that my parents died. And God knows what happen next. There will be no change in my life. Maybe I'll grow old with my youngest brother after he came back after he finishes his studies. Who knows when . Or maybe he'll get married. 

[Yimpa]

Live your life according to your values. What are your top 10 values?

If top 10 is too much for now, start with 1-3.

Edited February 10 by Yimpa

[Sabth]

19 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Live your life according to your values. What are your top 10 values?

If top 10 is too much for now, start with 1-3.

I valued my (1)wealth 

My (2)eyes

That's all.

My (3)Peace

Maybe my (4)beauty. I will only wanna procreate with good looking men. And he has to have a good education or we'll be fu*ked. Because I don't have a good (5)education. So my child may be in a bad place. Idk. 

I valued all the good things. (6)Integrity, etc. basically, I think an Arab have it all. So I may want to move towards that direction. 

(7)Chivalry. 

(8)Nobility. 

 

9.God

10. Freedom (this will require a lot of money. Think of an open field. ) 

Stay

 

[Schizophonia]

The Sabth loop. 

Stop coming here and posting this. To act.

[Bobby_2021]

1. I don't think going to college is really worth it. I suggest you strike off this possibility. Most likely it going to take you further back and the opportunity cost of the time you put in will not be worth it. 

2. Get some job if you can for the short while to stack some cash and get out of the comfort zone. It doesn't have to be the best job. And don't spend away all that money. You need some capital for your business. I assume you are from America. There are plenty of jobs out there if you are willing to work as far as I have heard. Actively look for it. Also get your drivers licence in the meantime. 

3. Build a business. Preferably online business. Sell something. Build something. Search for possibilities online. Monetize any skills you have. Don't worry if you don't have skills. You will learn it along the way. That's how everyone does it.

---

There is no easy way or fast way. Wanting everything to happen fast will only mean that it will take even more time than usual. If you are diligent enough, you could turn your life around in 4 years. (Almost the same time req for a college degree)

If you need some guidance feel free to DM. I am no expert. I am struggling in my own journey. But if you are persistent and make the right decisions, you will be rewarded. 

Edited February 11 by Bobby_2021

[Bobby_2021]

3 hours ago, Sabth said:

Of course I will never be able to change my life. I will be forever stuck in this city for years to come. I can't go out, I can't go back to my childhood place. I will never make money in my life and forever not have a career.  I will be stuck in this city living minimally until the day that my parents died. And God knows what happen next. There will be no change in my life. Maybe I'll grow old with my youngest brother after he came back after he finishes his studies. Who knows when . Or maybe he'll get married. 

Listen, you need to stop this negative self talk right now. You are shaping your identity by talking like this and such kind of identity will never make anything happen in this world.

And you need to put in even more work to undo the damage that you are doing to yourself right now.

STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK. 

Think of yourself as an autonomous individual capable of changing the world. You simply took a break to relax. That's okay. Now you have to get back to work. Think of yourself as capable of making an impact in this world. Them act from that. Take action.

You can take action only as far as your identity allows you to. You can choose to have an identity of your choosing. Make wise decisions Sabth

[hyruga]

You can take Leo Gura 's life purpose course. Or read some books to change your mindset.

 

[Sandhu]

She needs professional help. Her mental state  can't be helped with advice. 

She must seek professional help. She is in very bad perpetual victim and helpless state.

[Sabth]

I'm scared for my future. 

 

Edited February 13 by Sabth

[meta_male]

She will not stop the negative self-talk, it's a vicious cycle (and it's not her fault). Negative thoughts create negative environment which then again confirms negative worldview. What she needs is for someone to pull her out of this. This isn't gonna happen on this forum.

[ted73104]

Hi @Sabth,

It seems like you're mind is really stuck in deep emotions. There are internal conflicts within you that prevent you from moving forward. You have too big of an expectation of yourself, or maybe we should say you are too far away from where you want to be. You crave to be where you imagine you should be very badly, so bad that everytime you attempt to move forward, the slightest "failure" hurts you emotionally so much that in the end your subconcious would rather not move than allow you to try and change yourself.

We need to tell you that you need professional help. We cannot provide an immediate solution to your problems. So please don't think that there is anything we can say that will somehow allow you to understand the root cause of your problems and make them will disappear immediately. This idea is not realistic, it is not going to happen. You need to do a lot of work to get out of this. Of course I believe because you are stuck, the only way you can express yourself is by venting on this forum. And thankfully we're all still willing to listen to you, at least for the moment.

Although there is nothing we can say that will help you, I still want to make another attempt. Just want you to know two things, first thing is that what you to really need to change right now is not what you have, who you are, whether you're married or not, whether you're a hot confident girl or not, these surface level things. What you need to change is the basic set of beliefs you have on which every part of your identity is built upon. Let's put it this way, if your efforts are built upon sand, not matter how hard you try, your efforts will never sustain. You have to change your beliefs so you start building on a solid foundation, like a rock.

So the second thing is that everything is relative, there is no such thing as ugly or being a failure. Healthy and happy people don't compare with other people, even though they know a bunch of people who are way better than them. No matter where you are, you will always only see those who are ahead of you. So you have to learn how to stop comparing and reward yourself for every tiny improvement that you make going forward. Life does not happen to you, it comes from you. The reason you feel stuck is only because you've defined yourself to always be a failure. Although this will be hard to realize but it is you who is trapping yourself. You need to change your mind and stop believing that you can't change your situation. Why don't you see yourself in this way: "okay there are many things that I want which I don't have right now, but hey I'm already in a bad place, I've got nothing to lose right? I can go forward step by step. Each tiny step is big difference. It is not like everyone is stuck like me, I just got dealt the bad cards in life, but if I get out of this rut, I would be so much stronger and better than everyone because anyone who is in my position would just be like me right now, and not everyone like me can get out of their situation. If I can gradually change, this will be huge!"