How can I change my life?

[Sabth]

5 hours ago, ted73104 said:

Hi @Sabth,

It seems like you're mind is really stuck in deep emotions. There are internal conflicts within you that prevent you from moving forward. You have too big of an expectation of yourself, or maybe we should say you are too far away from where you want to be. You crave to be where you imagine you should be very badly, so bad that everytime you attempt to move forward, the slightest "failure" hurts you emotionally so much that in the end your subconcious would rather not move than allow you to try and change yourself.

No. It's not like that. I just didn't do anything. And have been doing nothing for years. 

[Sabth]

5 hours ago, ted73104 said:

Hi @Sabth,

It seems like you're mind is really stuck in deep emotions. There are internal conflicts within you that prevent you from moving forward. You have too big of an expectation of yourself, or maybe we should say you are too far away from where you want to be. You crave to be where you imagine you should be very badly, so bad that everytime you attempt to move forward, the slightest "failure" hurts you emotionally so much that in the end your subconcious would rather not move than allow you to try and change yourself.

We need to tell you that you need professional help. We cannot provide an immediate solution to your problems. So please don't think that there is anything we can say that will somehow allow you to understand the root cause of your problems and make them will disappear immediately. This idea is not realistic, it is not going to happen. You need to do a lot of work to get out of this. Of course I believe because you are stuck, the only way you can express yourself is by venting on this forum. And thankfully we're all still willing to listen to you, at least for the moment.

Although there is nothing we can say that will help you, I still want to make another attempt. Just want you to know two things, first thing is that what you to really need to change right now is not what you have, who you are, whether you're married or not, whether you're a hot confident girl or not, these surface level things. What you need to change is the basic set of beliefs you have on which every part of your identity is built upon. Let's put it this way, if your efforts are built upon sand, not matter how hard you try, your efforts will never sustain. You have to change your beliefs so you start building on a solid foundation, like a rock.

So the second thing is that everything is relative, there is no such thing as ugly or being a failure. Healthy and happy people don't compare with other people, even though they know a bunch of people who are way better than them. No matter where you are, you will always only see those who are ahead of you. So you have to learn how to stop comparing and reward yourself for every tiny improvement that you make going forward. Life does not happen to you, it comes from you. The reason you feel stuck is only because you've defined yourself to always be a failure. Although this will be hard to realize but it is you who is trapping yourself. You need to change your mind and stop believing that you can't change your situation. Why don't you see yourself in this way: "okay there are many things that I want which I don't have right now, but hey I'm already in a bad place, I've got nothing to lose right? I can go forward step by step. Each tiny step is big difference. It is not like everyone is stuck like me, I just got dealt the bad cards in life, but if I get out of this rut, I would be so much stronger and better than everyone because anyone who is in my position would just be like me right now, and not everyone like me can get out of their situation. If I can gradually change, this will be huge!"

I don't think that my life is a failure.. 

[Davino]

Change your habits

And you will change your life

What are you doing everyday? What have you done today?

There you have it

There are great episodes of Leo to help you but maybe you have watched them all, but anyway gonna share them with you

 

[Rigel]

You can change your life by wanting it. The reason you don't change is you don't actually want it. I know it hurts to hear that but it's true. If you really wanted it you would find a way. Not by asking here but by asking your own self.

What do I want to do with my life? I have 112hrs of awake time per week roughly. How do I want to spend those hours?

 If you want something that isn't doable right now you can then ask: What do I need to do in order to make that thing possible for me eventually?

Let's say you want to run a marathon. You think it's inspiring & you want to do it but you are 30lbs over weight and it's literally impossible for you at the moment. You would then ask "What needs to happen for me to be able to run a marathon?" and you would arrive at something like: "I need to loose 30lbs". Okey then how do you do that? Maybe take a walk everyday for a month or 2 then start weight lifting, eating healthy, yadiyadiydada. Being gradual and stuff.

That is a very obvious exemple, but it's like this for everything you could do in life. You could find fulfillment in anything really. If you had a mind that enjoys brushing your teeth everyday & you found pleasure in it, you would be fulfilled every time you brush your teeth. It doesn't need to be grandiose although it could be. 

Do you see where I am going with this? You pick something that would fulfill you & you do it. That's it. If you are unable, do something that'll inch you closer to it, if ever so slightly. There's already enormous fulfillment in that. How do you know what would fulfill you? Well you ask yourself again. You already have all the answers. The next step is right now if you decide to take it.

Edited February 12 by Rigel

[universe]

The person you have been in the past has materialised this life situation you are in right now.

What kind of person is required now to change it?

❤️

[Sabth]

3 hours ago, Rigel said:

You can change your life by wanting it. The reason you don't change is you don't actually want it. I know it hurts to hear that but it's true. If you really wanted it you would find a way. Not by asking here but by asking your own self.

What do I want to do with my life? I have 112hrs of awake time per week roughly. How do I want to spend those hours?

 If you want something that isn't doable right now you can then ask: What do I need to do in order to make that thing possible for me eventually?

I think I want to work now. I never work 

[Bobby_2021]

18 hours ago, Sabth said:

I'm scared for my future. 

 

You should be doing something about it. Take action right fucking now. But you have wrecked your psychology and convinced yourself that you are a victim. Nothing good will ever happen with this kind of thinking. 

Watch videos on how to get out of the victim mindset. Take small action for the moment. Whatever it takes to get out of the rut that you are in right now. Find the video on watch it.

Edited February 13 by Bobby_2021

[Yimpa]

11 hours ago, Sabth said:

I don't think that my life is a failure.. 

How do you feel?

[hyruga]

7 hours ago, Sabth said:

I think I want to work now. I never work 

You can listen to Linda Raynier on YouTube. She teaches you on how to pass job interview and how to advance in your career.

[Sabth]

10 hours ago, universe said:

The person you have been in the past has materialised this life situation you are in right now.

What kind of person is required now to change it?

❤️

I agree with this a lot. 

[Buck Edwards]

You do a lot of negative self talk. Try being an optimist for a change. I have been there. I know it's tough.

[Sabth]

Looking at the things I wanna buy , I really want to work and buy all those

.

But well I don't know where to start. 

[Rigel]

1 hour ago, Sabth said:

Looking at the things I wanna buy , I really want to work and buy all those

.

But well I don't know where to start. 

That's ok. Just start anywhere. You'll figure it out. Don't stall the clock. Print 100 resumes & give them all over town.

[Sabth]

6 hours ago, Rigel said:

That's ok. Just start anywhere. You'll figure it out. Don't stall the clock. Print 100 resumes & give them all over town.

Help me write a resume , I wonder

I don't have much to write on my resume. I literally don't have any experience in working. Working experience. Maybe selling something in a university club. 

Should I write my school or where I live since I was young? I can't create a proper resume because I don't complete my degree. 

There was a job who take your high school certificate but I can't locate it any longer. My pre university certificate was stolen/taken. So I no longer had anything. I don't have proof or the copy of my high school certificate. It's been too long and after using it to get into a public university I don't think I need it for any other use so I lost it. If you want to be a stewardess they will use this high school certificate. But I can't locate it anymore. 

 

This is what I did last year. Idk what to do. 

 

I don't even know what I can do

I need training I need a university. 

Edited February 14 by Sabth

[Ash55]

i noticed something about you, if you wanna start with something start with your emotions watch teal swan on youtube
work on your emotional mastery read books about that, id say that what will make a huge difference for now
 

there is a great book called emotional intelligence, if you want a job you need 80% networking 20% skills 
and you build your cv by taking internships, volunteer work, any freelance work

for you education is a good idea you can start there for sure

edit: few emotional problems can make you stuck in your place taking actions to change that is a huge step forward for success i struggled with that

Edited February 14 by Ash55

[Yimpa]

46 minutes ago, Sabth said:

I don't have much to write on my resume. I literally don't have any experience in working. Working experience. Maybe selling something in a university club. 

I have little to no skills when it comes to negotiating with businesses. Yet, I used this GPT called The Negotiator a couple days ago and struck an amazing deal with a company. Something I would have never been able to do prior.

The moral of the story is if there is a will there is a way. Find what works for your own unique needs.

Edited February 14 by Yimpa

[Sabth]

48 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I have little to no skills when it comes to negotiating with businesses. Yet, I used this GPT called The Negotiator a couple days ago and struck an amazing deal with a company. Something I would have never been able to do prior.

The moral of the story is if there is a will there is a way. Find what works for your own unique needs.

My will is.....

Edited February 14 by Sabth

[Yimpa]

18 minutes ago, Sabth said:

My will is..... I want to go to Canada during winter season to skate. I want a lot of money but I don't want to work. I don't know. I don't really want to work. I don't think I am capable of anything. That's just it. 

I’ve got work in 30 minutes even though it’s a job I know isn’t tapping into my fullest potential. However, it is an important stepping stone, hence why I’ll go out there and do it!

[Sabth]

55 minutes ago, Ash55 said:

i noticed something about you, if you wanna start with something start with your emotions watch teal swan on youtube
work on your emotional mastery read books about that, id say that what will make a huge difference for now
 

there is a great book called emotional intelligence, if you want a job you need 80% networking 20% skills 
and you build your cv by taking internships, volunteer work, any freelance work

for you education is a good idea you can start there for sure

edit: few emotional problems can make you stuck in your place taking actions to change that is a huge step forward for success i struggled with that

I hv watched this. 

[hyruga]

Just find a job and your life will change within a week from the day you start working. 😆