Weird Experience after Weed

[Lews Therin]

Hi, I had a strange experience backduring christmass, that i had initially attributed to depersonalization, but recently have started considering alternative explanation upon reading an excerpt on kundalini energy from a kriya book. I didn't know wheter to post it here or on the mental health subforum, but decided on here since i will see a psyquiatrist anyway just to be sure, and therefore came here in search of answer more related to the spiritual, energetic side of things.

So, a little background. I've been on the spiritual path for almost 6 years now, practiced zazen at first and then kriya for a while, though i stopped doing kriya to try Sayadaw u Tejaniya's method of constant awareness in July (i know i could do both, but confess i have been somewhat lacking in willpower lately).

I also smoked weed a lot during my lifetime, though have been mostly doing so around the new years for the past two years.

After a long period of not smoking, i started doing it again in december as the holidays arrived, and had been doing it almost daily for some 3 weeks to a month when christmas came.

That's when it happened, i went to visit my cousin and he was smoking, so he passed it to me and i accepted it. After smoking it was mostly a normal high, until i had what felt like a visualization of what seemed like a rope circle opening itself in one spot. Like if that spot had either burst or been released. I instantly felt fear wash over me, for the idea of something coming loose in my head, something that shouldn't have, was pretty scary.

I also noticed i instantly became more reactive in the conversation with my cousin, as if i suddenly felt a much stronger need to not annoy him, or be "approved" or "validated" by him, which is pretty weird, because he is a very chill dude and our relationship has been that of mutual respect for a while now.

After we came back to the city 2 days later (that had been at our family's small farm) i began taking notice more clearly of the differeces in my mind (also stopped weed again), the main differences where:

1. Felt as if "me" (or whatever i was identifying with) felt a little bit more distanced from my thoughts, like when i remembered to be aware, it seemed to be a brief delay between the thought appearing and awareness "showing up". This has mostly gone away by now, if it remains a little bit it is at a level that i have a hard time comparing it to before.

2. Felt a pressure in my head, this seems to have lessened a little, but it is still very clearly there. Almost as if there is something ocuppying space in it, also gives off a feeling of being almost heavier when i turn my head or move it in different ways. It doesn hurt, not most of the time at least, but the pressure is constant.

3. My thought and my mind seems to have a pressure in them as well, this is different from the head pressure, and doesn't hurt or anything, but is very weird. It's like a can feel the different thought moving inside my head as i think about different subjects. This one is probably the weirdest.

3b. At the beggining it felt as if the thoughts had all come loose from the places where they used to stay and where all floating in my head, clouding it. But as i thought about these things again they slowly sliding back into place. As if when i think about something or have an insight about a subject, that part of my thoughts stabilize themselves again. As this proccess goes on, my mind seems less and less bloated.

4. Lastly, the one that scared me the most at the beggining, my mind seemed to have lost depth, almost as if it had lost a dimension. Suddenly i couldn't be aware of a thought while having a thought, like there was no space for the mind to turn back and look at itself. it went from something spatial to something linear, as if i had regressed to a lower cognitive developmental state. This one, albeit the most scary, has gone away by now, so i am not worried about it anymore.

So, at this point, essentially all i feel is this pressure inside my head, and maybe a very very slight delay in the time it takes for my mind to return to awareness after it catches itself from distraction.

 

SO, I had been thinking about common psychological problems for a while, but my research didn't come up with anything that matched it. Up until a few days ago i read about how people called kundalini "the coiled serpent" and how people have describes head pressure as a sympton of it.

The initial thing i saw could be described as an uncoiling, or a orobors releasing it's tail.

The main counterargument would be that as far as i remember it wasn't in the lower body region, but felt more like somewhere in the head, so i don't think it is kundalini, though i don't know much about, but have started wondering it is not some energy thing maybe? has anyone ever experienced anything similar?