Selflessness

[alyra]

it could be seen how selfishness is not problematic, and in fact inherently has selfless impact. the only actor that most reliably is taking care of your health and interest is you. sometimes we do help each other, but not only is that not a consistent method of care, it also isn't efficient because it can only be done with assumptions. the individuals know what they want, but don't know what others want. there are only beliefs in moral righteousness on that regard.

 

while I'm sure we're all wondering about the tricks and traps of believing we know ourselves, really there are many more delusions when it comes to knowing others. it's actually easier to claim that selflessness is more toxic than it could be claimed selfishness is toxic. so many traps that lead to conflict. so much easier to blame each other than to take responsibility for the self. but what can be done about the mistakes of others? selfish drive.

 

furthermore, selfishness is prioritizing one's own success and satisfaction. but where is the success if every self is hurting and stealing from each other on purpose? and which town is filled with successful people - the town where people trade skills and labor and products, and work as a group, or the town where everyone does everything they need by themselves, discarding any extra they happen to create? to look outward is called selflessness, but it really is nothing but the higher level of selfishness. knowing what you need, and trusting that others do too. knowing what you can offer, and trusting that others do too.

 

if you want to be selfless, all power to you. but my advice is - take five or ten years putting yourself at the center of your attention. develop all the skills you need to help yourself to the point you're doing it without needing to try. because even when looking to others as selflessly as possible, these self-oriented skills will be used. and the easier and more effective they are, the less your self will hinder your selfless. in fact it will empower it.

[TJM1959]

5 hours ago, aryberry said:

it also isn't efficient because it can only be done with assumptions

Not true. Where do assumptions enter in the domain of self-less service or giving of oneself to another? An "assumption" can only be applied if one is to "give to get".

 

5 hours ago, aryberry said:

while I'm sure we're all wondering about the tricks and traps of believing we know ourselves, really there are many more delusions when it comes to knowing others. it's actually easier to claim that selflessness is more toxic than it could be claimed selfishness is toxic. so many traps that lead to conflict. so much easier to blame each other than to take responsibility for the self. but what can be done about the mistakes of others? selfish drive.

So what are the tricks or traps, delusions, toxicity, conflicts here? This entire paragraph has assumptions written all over it. Your attempt at linking/intertwining selflessness and selfishness just ain't happening here. Jargon.

5 hours ago, aryberry said:

to look outward is called selflessness, but it really is nothing but the higher level of selfishness. knowing what you need, and trusting that others do too. knowing what you can offer, and trusting that others do too.

 

What are you talking about here? Makes no sense. Generalized.

[alyra]

3 hours ago, TJM1959 said:

 Where do assumptions enter in the domain of self-less service

even if you give what they ask for, you give what you understand to be good, which is not necessarily what they expect to get. this is what I mean by assumptions.

edit: they may be subtle or hard to see, this is what I mean by trick and trap. we do not see it so we fall victim to a false belief, to unawareness . 

Edited April 16, 2017 by aryberry

[Harvey]

Taking care bout ourself first somehow it's essential but egotistical as all in this existence simply we are oneness from one source ,others is just different versions of the oneness being "us", bring the example safe yourself first in case of airplane put oxygen mask on yourself first then others is logic example means ego made one

I think If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself means you solves your problems int the process at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure just my opinion again.

[h inandout]

I am in an "Inner Tracking" course right now. We mostly work with guided meditations that the teacher has worked with to release emotion that has been stored very deeply in our emotional system.  Tonight we did some work with the inner child, and things have a tendency to come up that you completely forgot about when you open yourself up to allowing someone to guide you through this work.  A memory of a time when I was 8 and I felt deep sorrowful compassion came up for me tonight.  I came back as an adult and told that little girl that she doesn't have to be stuck there anymore.  I realized that literally noone else could do this for me but me, and I felt so much release from doing this work that I was sobbing.  I realized that if I do choose to have compassion, really, it is helping me nuture that place within myself that really needs to know that there is compassion out there in the world for me and for everyone.  This is so rewarding.  I also have learned to lovingly give people back their burdens for then to take and do as they need.  It would be selfish and unsustainable for me to take on their suffering as my own, and thus amplify it, rather than assisting their release.  I feel so connected and that to keep doing and cultivating the Work within myself is one of the mpst important things I can pffer the world.

[h inandout]

Thanks for the question!

[Nahm]

@Harvey give all of yourself.  give your entire life to others.  in an ironic twist of intuition, this leads to being and having everything. so often we are asking about losing our self, when we can just give it away.