Will you be the one to define my Life Purpose ? ( 80% there )

mmKay
By mmKay in Personal Development -- [Main],
I'll shoot a list at you with the raw data. More details can be discussed later on. I have done the LP course three times to 60% and I have been procrastinating on it on and off since 2017. I'll finish it soon ( haha)   (In no particular order of importance) I love problem solving. I love thinking about solutions for situations in multiple novel and possibly original ways. I'm basically an idea generator on command. I'm vastly resourceful . I love speaking and communicating ideas. I love teaching and explaining. I love improv comedy. Sense of humor is a core part of my personality. It's literally impossible for me to be talking or thinking without funny perspectives or observations popping into my mind. Im passionate about studying and contemplating personal development ( embodying is a while different can of worms) , psychology ( understanding self esteem, beliefs, epistemology, self image, confidence, emotions, trauma, limiting beliefs and the raw instincts , biases and genetic expression of what it is like to be incarnated as a human being. I'm very patient with people, extremely humble ( no brag ). I've always been curious about philosophy and metaphysics. I'm also extremely radically openminded. I have consumed vast amounts of personal development content . I may have watched almost all of Leo's vids around 3 times if not more over last years, tons of attraction , game cold approach and social dynamics content.  I love the potential of social drills and personal social experiments to trigger yourself or someone to release trauma and build confidence. Cold approach for the personal development gains is amazing as well.  I'm in love with how they fuck with you on stage in RSD seminars to trigger you. Beautifully effective. I have done psychedelics a few times and I'm looking forward to doing more, mostly for trauma release purposes rather than metaphysical insight. I love singing and I definitely have an itch for music. A beautiful voice ( or chorus ) is one of the few thing that bring me to tears. I often fantasize about singing out loud in public. Music hypes me the fuck up way too much. I love putting emotion into speaking, funny voices, acting and expressing myself spontaneously. Since very young I have allways been interested in theater but never really got into it.  I have a bazillion ideas for skits , short videos and cartoons but when I sit down in front of the pc by myself to start making it happen I feel I'm wasting my time terribly. It could be a hobby perhaps. I enjoy video editing but it also makes me feel im wasting my time . I love dancing and moving my body. It's also one of my favorite ways of socializing besides improv comedy. I love giving advice and listening to peoples problems. I have fantasized quite often about sitting on a bench in a busy street with a sign saying " tell me your problems" . I would mind doing this for free. I'm pretty introverted and have been extremely cripplingly shy in the past. I was raised pretty poor. I was raised in caravans and a shack. My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life and my dad is a functional alcoholic. I've played videogames for 16 hours per day until 17 years old. I've overcome my shyness by rewiring my beliefs and direct experience socializing. I was motivated because I had a crush on a girl from highschool. Overcoming shyness and building confidence is probably one of the  most meaningful impacts I could have on people and the world if I had to choose. The thing is that due to life circumstances, perhaps health issues ( heavy metal toxicity, possible allergies ) and getting way too deep into spirituality from a young age , my ambition is and has been pretty minimal for now. I've gone through such a crippling Dark Night of the Soul at 21 it felt like my soul had been brutally raped and it had left scars on me till this very day. I also have access to a bliss state on command if I'm doing nothing and I focus on the present moment which further demotivating for material success. I'm pretty damn happy doing nothing but I battle lack of motivation .  I like to think of myself as very creative, mostly mentally and not in the meaning of bringing things into existence. I'm also extremely frugal. I want to say the low ambition is genetic as well but I'm nowhere close to maxing out my genetic Ambition and I'm slowly working on that. I want to say I'm responsible and have vastly above average morals I thought about becoming a dating coach for men in the past. I love the personal transformation aspect but as of right now I don't see relationships as something very important. Getting laid is critically important for men and I've felt that exact pain before and it's very dear to my heart. When I think about Reckful's suicide and almost losing one of my best friend ti the same cause ( heartbreak, loneliness and dysfunctional beliefs ) it brings me to tears. I wouldn't mind being a life coach but I feel it's not exactly ideally IT yet. It's  too serious for me to be motivated and excited in the long run. It's missing the room for sense of humor and playfulness. Also sitting in front of a screen is a waste of time Imo because Ideally I prefer to work with people face to face in front o a small crowd I believe, while involving the crowd, I think. The vision i've got right now is some sort of teacher for self esteem, confidence, playfulness , expression and personal development. Almost like an acting teacher focused on personal development. I'm notoriously inexpressive and monotone though as a fellow polish slav.   And more specifically something like an Improv comedy teacher that works mostly with small group of 20 people, and sometimes one on one. But my twist would be focused on personal development, healing trauma, building confidence, social skills, expression , spontaneity and sense of humor. If it's not a game like this I couldn't keep it up for long.   Lemme know what ya got
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