Do You Ever Find It Difficult To Open Up ?

[Loreena]

I have lots of friends. But they are only good for socializing. I don't share much with them because it's just formal, not very deep and I suck at getting intimate. And they don't want deeper connections. And I understand that. It's good to have fun with them but that's all I can do with them, sometimes pretend that I am happy just to be with them. 

Among them are a few ones who I consider my special friends, the ones I can share with. Now the problem is that whenever I am facing trouble, I don't call them because I get guilty as hell, don't wanna burden them with my stuff. I feel I shouldn't be doing it. I just want to see them happy. I don't wish to disturb them. 

Do you find it difficult to open up to your friends too ?

[Aladdin]

Yeah i can relate, i used to be like this but overtime i managed to open up to my close freinds and now they understand me better.

[Shin]

@Loreena At least you have friends, just muster the courage and open fully, it will be scary just once, if you do it right.

[Salaam]

I don't have socializing only friends, I call those acquaintances. I only have friends who feel and live deeply and we share in those beautiful things.

Being vulnerable to another doesn't have to be seen as a burden.

The people in my life tell me they WANT to be the one I share my vulnerability with. They tell me, "I want to be the person you trust the most to come to when you need help". That I've been there so much for them, that it makes them feel so happy and helpful to be there for me.

Now I don't abuse that desire they have to be there for me. But, at the same time I also don't neglect that desire to share myself or demonize it as me being selfish or a burden on them.

There is a balance to be found that is the most healthy.

 

[Steph1988]

Depends how far would u want to go opening up? i always speak freely completely without restraints if i can do that that means true friendship among st other stuff.

But i never give my whole soul and being and all my thoughts and i don't want that, the times i did that it felt weird, and i found out that that was not something for me.

I always feel more authentic when joking,fooling around and doing activities with my friends. we also talk about problems of course but i don't like to talk too much about feelings.

I feel loyalty,acceptance,humor,shared interests are most important and then we don't have to go to deep that is all deep enough.

[The_spanish_guy]

Absolutely yes. As some of you may now, I am going through a very challenging time at this point of my life. Almost nobody knows about it, just my family, and of course my therapist. The reason why I don't open up more is because I'm convinced that my story would be too awkward to understand for others and they will look at my as I am a perfect mental disturbed person. When it comes to talk about more common issues like family troubles or dating insecurities I usually don't have any problem at all, at least with my best friends. The rest of the people don't care too much about me, so I prefer to keep wearing my "everything is fine" mask, just as they do.

[Loreena]

6 hours ago, The_spanish_guy said:

Absolutely yes. As some of you may now, I am going through a very challenging time at this point of my life. Almost nobody knows about it, just my family, and of course my therapist. The reason why I don't open up more is because I'm convinced that my story would be too awkward to understand for others and they will look at my as I am a perfect mental disturbed person. When it comes to talk about more common issues like family troubles or dating insecurities I usually don't have any problem at all, at least with my best friends. The rest of the people don't care too much about me, so I prefer to keep wearing my "everything is fine" mask, just as they do.

Thank You for your kind response.

[Principium Nexus]

Hey Loreena! I You shouldn't feel guilty for talking about your problems. For a long time I thought that coping with all these things would be better but the opposite is true, by talking with relatives or good friends about your problems you show yourself vulnerable and this can strengthen your relationship when talking to a good friend for example. When talking about some issues it's best to do that one on one and not with a large group, so you can have a deeper conversation and maybe learn something from their perspective. Understand that almost everybody has some kind of problem and they often happy to talk through it with a person. Know that your not alone, you can do this

[jse]

On 10/04/2017 at 10:01 AM, Loreena said:

Do You Ever Find It Difficult To Open Up ?

Sorry, I just can't talk about it...

[Spiral]

Emotionally not all, but I am secretive about my past.

I have been burned before, so I'm very picky regarding whom I tell certain things.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Spiral

[electroBeam]

You're too nice! You know, if you do open up to them, that could possibly deepen your connection with your friends, and take it to the next level. The more you open up to them, the deeper your friendship with them will become, which is truly a beautiful thing to experience; to have a deep, intimate connection with people that you trust and love.

But I personally don't open up to my friends. I mean I'm open to telling them about my political views, and giving them my opinion on sensitive topics like whether I'm jealous about someone or not, but I always act casual with it, and don't give them any hint as to whether I'm being serious or not. I keep my insecurities to myself(apart from talking about them on this forum) because I feel like the stuff I'm going through is stuff that nobody else experiences, and so I don't think they would understand, and even if they did, their unconscious behavior would lead them to judge, which would be a huge disservice.

But if you have friends that would look out for you, compassionately understand your problems and talk with you about them, then you should definitely talk to them about your problems. Man it would be so beautiful to have a group of people you could care for selflessly.