How Do You Deal With Passive People (in My Case A Teacher)?

[Rocky]

(Sorry if this doesn't class as self-actualisation, I didn't know where else to put this topic).

So at my university, one of my teachers is incredibly passive aggressive towards myself and other students, when he's talking to other teachers he's a normal person but when talking to myself and other students he's incredibly passive aggressive and it treats us like we're retarded.

Especially against me because i had issues with the course that i raised because no one else would and he in layman's terms tries to mock me indirectly all of the time and I'm getting pretty sick of it and I really don't know what else to do or how to react to these sorts of people, especially towards my own teachers when they come at you with stuff it's a bit difficult because otherwise, I could just ignore it and not have to react to it.

In all honesty, it does feel like bullying and the other students do seem to react to it in that way, some avoid going to that class and others that are in the class don't ask questions because if they do they get mocked.

Any advice is most appreciated.

 

[Arkandeus]

whatever you do or decide know this : you are perfect, so whichever way you chose to go, it will work out 

this is a test of love, can you see the good in your teacher, can you see behind his aggression and relate to him?
it's a chance to practice unconditional love...you can't practice unconditional love with people that are easy to love. 

Now to love is not to pander and agree, you can love someone and still call them out on their shit, but out of a place of companionship, not a place of ''me vs my enemy''. 
I can tell you that there's no enemy. 
Would you be more enlightened then your teacher wouldn't even bother you, he could tell you what you want and it wouldn't move you, that is inner peace. 
It's important to identify that the enemy is not the circumstance, the pain that you feel is the learning gap. 
You are always responsible for how you feel, it is good to know that because it brings back all the power to you. 

If you feel bad it's not your teachers fault, it is a fault in your perspective. Which you can correct by approaching the situation with an open mind and heart, which will open up inner space for learning and knowledge to stream into you.  

It can be that you are not ready to deal with this situation, that you are not ready to ''tolerate'' your teacher and explore how you both feel when you interact with each other. 
Which is fine, there will be other challenges when you are ready for them. 

If you feel like a certain source of negative energy is too overwhelming, that this teacher drains too much of your energy then you need to protect yourself. 

if I was really in your place I'd try to tolerate him, to accept the outer spillings of his inner suffering.
If I was in your place in the sense that it's too much to deal with I'd talk directly to the teacher in private and call him out on his toxicness and ask him to stop and if he wouldn't I'd ask him to stop again, again and again, until I'd be forced to report him to the administration or something. 
These are my personal solutions and ways and are certainly not the ''best'' ways to deal with it. 
The best way is the way that feels right to you. 
If your idea is a very small form of resistance be it so, if it feels like your idea ,from your heart then it's good. 

simply put, either consciously tolerate him and try to practice a vibration of love, or defend your own vibration/state of being by doing something about it, anything. 

 

 

[Spiral]

While i agree with @Arkandeus , you can practice these teachings in other situations that are not crucial to your future.

Bring in up with the student union, or possible some authority figure. Awful if it effects you learning negatively. 

[Rocky]

Thanks for the advice, I think it will be a great learning opportunity for me.

I have actually tried some of what has been mentioned, I actually told the student Dean about it because this teacher is actually my mentor for the first year students, and he told me to tell the Exam committee who recently have been getting done for not actually abiding the law in terms of their OER Regulations for their courses.

As well as they blamed me for circumstances of my control when I brought it up about 1 exam and are just as bad as him. So I asked about a member of the Student union taking it ahead to the dean anonymously since they may have more authority than me and also because of its affecting everyone else. But unbelievably the student union isn't allowed to take up issues that affect other students so I don't really understand what they are used for.

I have already been given firm offers from other universities to transfer to the 1st year (as I'm currently doing year 0 which is foundational and not exactly required by all uni's). So in layman's terms, my grades for the next 4 months don't matter, the other uni's aren't interested but I'm staying on still to learn what I can with my time here. So I think it would be good for me to spend time on learning how to grow from this issue I'm almost forced to face for the next 4 months.

I did actually talk to this teacher about the issues I was having with the course and the exam committee and etc, and basically all he did was say that maybe the course isn't for me and that I should do something else and that he asked me if he could leave because he said he wants to go home and have dinner. 

 

So in order to grow from this, I just have to try and love him unconditionally? As in being happy for him no matter what and putting myself in his position?

[Spiral]

 

37 minutes ago, Rocky said:

So in order to grow from this, I just have to try and love him unconditionally? As in being happy for him no matter what and putting myself in his position?

yes , unconditional love is mostly about empathy and sympathy, have sympathy (or pity) for him, for how his life must have developed to make him this way.

Healthy and happy people don't treat other like this. This is a insight you can't simply read about, you must experience it yourself to truly understand, preferably by self observation. 

If you fully embodies unconditional love you will be unable to feel anger or hatred towards other people regardless of what atrocities they commit, forgiveness will be like breathing.   

Edited April 9, 2017 by Spiral

[Arman]

Try flipping the script and seeing him as the victim. I think when other people behave mean and aggressive, it can be upsetting because we subconsciously think they're 'getting away with it' and somehow getting the upper hand. If you can release your emotions on the subject or while it's happening and observe him then you'll probably feel sympathy for the guy. After all you only have to experience him temporarily, but he has to live with himself every waking moment. There is no way that passive aggression can stem from a place of ease and self love. Imagine how much more happiness he would feel if he could relax into himself and connect with people. Teaching others aught to be a great joy. but he can't. Sad, no? By being non-reactive and breathing into the emotions that arise you can use it as an opportunity to grow and be more grounded in yourself. As men if we're going to be thrown off balance by external energies (and really, passive aggression is pretty low on the scale of things that can be thrown at us) then we're not going to be very effective in life, are we? In that regard use it as an exciting opportunity to grow.

When you stop the reactivity, you actually aid to break the cycle for both parties. On an energetic level aggression can only exist if it has its reacting counter-parts, and when aggression is directed into a grounded field (awareness, spaciousness, your own patience and willingness to go beyond reactivity), it actually dissolves the aggression and helps to liberate the aggressor. 

While this sounds very airy and pleasant on paper, in reality it may not be a flip of a switch and suddenly you love him. I wouldn't worry about being loving - the central work is the difficult feelings that arise in the body. For that a certain prerequisite level of concentration or awareness is needed.

Edited April 9, 2017 by Arman

[Revolutionary Think]

@Rocky what actions is he talking specifically that seem passive aggressive? 

[pluto]

Drop some LSD or MDMA in his cuppa coffee