What are the consequences of always being single?

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

@TheGod First of all, good job getting to this point in your personal growth. Most people are not asking this question. It is a very important question and if those who want romantic-relationships ask this question, this can lead to a lot of reform in the family-system, in law, in religion, everywhere. 

That is exactly right. Sex is not worth all of that effort. For the same reason that going to fancy restaurants, going on fancy vacations and having fancy stuff is not worth slaving away for 60 hours a week at a job you hate. Consumerism does not give you long-term happiness! 

When you believe that the point of a relationship/dating, as a man, is to 'get laid', you have the dating-mindset of a consumer. You're asking her the question 'how can you make me happy?' You think there is a definite answer to this question, you want her to do something that would make you happy. You define 'compatibility' like this, you go through the struggle of finding this person and in the end, it doesn't work. 

The root-cause of this dating-mindset is because of the sex sells media and because of online-dating. Sex sells on social-media, actual media, movies, pop-culture and porn. Even in parties, sex is seen as nothing more than a 'fun activity'. The consumeristic mindset is the default mindset for everyone. And, the 'red pill' ideology talks about 'SMV', which is, how to pander to the consumeristic mindset of women. What this leads to, is a dating-culture that's heavily transactional. So, if your question is 'Why has this worked up until this point?' or 'Why is this mindset so widespread in dating?', this is the answer. And, you will have to do something out of the ordinary to resolve this situation. 

So, what do you do to resolve this situation?

• Take a step out of sexual-relationships for a bit and focus on seeking out people you can actually connect with. If you have an avoidant attachment-style, focus on healing that. Focus on being vulnerable with these people with whom you don't have any important transactions going on. When you do this, you may see the ways in which you're being inauthentic in your life and this may give you an existential-crisis. Because you would have been wrong about who you are up until this point. Even if you were right, now, you're changing and this will call for big changes in your life.
• So, the next step would be to focus on finding yourself, redefining your values in life and behaving authentically in your life, embodying authenticity. This will radically change your life.
• Then, when you self-actualize (or when you get back on track towards self-actualization), the next step would be to reassess your understanding of relationships and to learn about relationships. This, potentially, could be doing inner-child work, trauma-resolution, learning about emotions, changing your conditioning about relationships, rewriting your life-story into something more realistic (as opposed to what you're conditioned to believe about yourself), understanding psychology and figuring out how to have realistic expectations from people, figuring out your unmet needs in relationships, changing your vision in relationships, redefining 'the right person' for yourself and coming up with a different dating-strategy to find this 'right person'.
• Then, finally, the next step is to embark on the journey of 'getting ready' for this relationship, where you align your life towards creating this new lifestyle with this person (or people, depending on your vision). 

It is in this process of 'getting ready' to actualize your vision, in which you will find the 'meaning' in dating-activities, or the 'point' of dating-activities. 

Never thought I'd say this... but this is actually stellar advice. Way to go, brother! 👍

[meta_male]

@mr_engineer  This is a real solid post, man!

[Princess Arabia]

Looks AI generated.

[Buck Edwards]

Peace of Mind. Big time. 

 

[Miguel1]

On 1/30/2024 at 5:40 PM, TheGod said:

Since I realised that I'm God and I don't need anything or anyone (because I'm everyone and everything) I started questioning my need for relationship with women. I mean I had romantic relationship throughout my life. It all starts with some sort of excitement that slowly disappears and after each break up this question comes back to me : "What was the point?"

I also noticed that the true reason why I start a relationship is my desire to hide from life's challenges in companionship and sex. If I didn't have sexual needs in the first place I would never pursue intimate relationship with women. True intimacy not necessarily requires sexual attraction or desire. I have friends and my mother is one of my best friends. I'm able to be happy on my own, so basically the only thing that I can't do without someone is sex. 

But approaching girls just for that sounds like too much for me. Making all the effort for what? Just for sex? If all I need just sex what's wrong with prostitutes? 

Since you realized that you are God, why do you even need to cling to life?

Because it's an enjoyable journey. Enjoy the ride.

You say ''I also noticed that the true reason why I start a relationship is my desire to hide from life's challenges in companionship and sex.''

Learning how to be an attractive and charismatic man IS life's challenge as a man.

Approaching girls is not just for getting sex. It is mainly to learn how to be a MAN.

Be careful of making this a one step deeper / layer of an excuse to face life's challenges. 

Edited January 31 by Miguel1

[Yimpa]

A serious partner brings out the best in you.