for fucks sake it's been 4 years and i'm still randomly having reactivations at night

[Soul Flight]

@khalifa You can recover. You can heal. 4 years is a long time. Hang in there.

Have you covered all the basics? Unplug it. Count to 10. Plug it back in. Restart the computer. Download all the updates.

Try all the following basics: go vegan, drink water, sleep a lot, set a routine, set a schedule, avoid salt, sugar, and caffeine, stop doing all drugs and alcohol, take a multivitamin, get sunshine, see nature, hear nature, see water, hear water, get a pet, get a plant, meditate, get a physical, get therapy, attend support group meetings, journal, exercise, get a job, clean your room, clean your house, clean your car, visit friends and family, pray, go to church, go to school, execute the activities in the self help books, get active, go hiking, see sunsets and sunrises, consider telling a doctor and therapist about your substance use and ask for help, breathe, do deep breathing, stretch, do yoga, etc.

Hang in there. Be safe. Be well.

[Breakingthewall]

5 hours ago, khalifa said:

@Breakingthewall congratulations to you for playing russian roulette with your brain and winning the lottery of not being a prisoner in your brain, so how was your quality life improved? what can you do now that you couldn't do before 5meo? or do you just cope that your doing better mentally because a drug cult psychonat told you so and you just went with the narrative flow larping and parroting that it's great when it's nothing special but just another delusional philosophy perspective

can you guys stop parroting that bullshit of open up yourself to chronic anxiety, i've been doing that for years now since it started and guess what you can't open up to chronic anxiety because the body's chem balance is just unstable it has nothing to do with opening up, everybodys body/dna is different and it doesn't work the same way with psychs, hence the different random results

I didn't do 5meo because actualized, I joined actualized after 5 meo . One day I did mushrooms and I saw that that was what I had to do, break the structures of my mind, I started reading about it, then I made salvia, then 5meo, I saw that that 5meo was what I had to do, and I did it until i broke the last structure

[khalifa]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I didn't do 5meo because actualized, I joined actualized after 5 meo . One day I did mushrooms and I saw that that was what I had to do, break the structures of my mind, I started reading about it, then I made salvia, then 5meo, I saw that that 5meo was what I had to do, and I did it until i broke the last structure

ok so what could you do after doing those psychedelics that you couldn't do before doing them?

so far it sounds like there's nothing you couldn't do so they were just pointless recreational drugs just like drinking alcohol but with more mental masturbation of cult philosophy parrot larps

[OBEler]

@khalifa I know a handful closed friends who tried 5 Meo and myself. It's all what Leo promised and even more. These friends never watched actualized they just took the substance and were so thankful for it. 

Back to your problem. First step is contacting Martin Ball for a counseling session. The money is worth it. He is the absolute expert for 5 Meo dmt and provided over 8000 times 5 Meo dmt. He will know your case and will give you exactly the plan how to get out of it. 

 

[Breakingthewall]

5 hours ago, khalifa said:

ok so what could you do after doing those psychedelics that you couldn't do before doing them?

so far it sounds like there's nothing you couldn't do so they were just pointless recreational drugs just like drinking alcohol but with more mental masturbation of cult philosophy parrot larps

Why did you have the idea to do psychedelics in the first place? You were probably deceived into being God and that all, your problems were going to be solved, etc. evasion. Well, this is not the objective, the objective is to break the limits that trap you, to free your mind. This is very difficult for people and what they do is break their current limits to replace them with broader ones, God or whatever, but this is of no use, they are still limits, only supposedly broader. What is really sought is the total rupture, the flow with total freedom. For this, having several breakthroughs with 5meo helps. If your goal is something else, you could go crazy.

Edited January 28, 2024 by Breakingthewall

[khalifa]

@OBEler  already booked a session with him, he told me to do another session with a sitter that knows what he's doing so i can have a full release, and he told me to let go and not struggle like last time while laying down on the ground star like pose *since i've tripped on my stomach, he mentioned unideal poses can cause bloackages like it did with my case*

i don't think 5meo can cure chronic anxiety/GAD, if it can that would be weird honestly since it's given me the PTSD/GAD and now i russian roulette role it again to try and get rid of it or maybe even it might gets worse, which is why i've been avoiding it

 

@Breakingthewall  my goal was obviously to experience the hype of 5meo? which it's just another drug that gave me some unwanted mental handicaps, and physical damage, my kidneys have been horrible i've been peeing foamy pee after some months, till today for years, it's alarming that i have foamy pee and the lab doesn't seem to pick anything up, and it's been hurting lately too

Edited January 28, 2024 by khalifa

[Breakingthewall]

@khalifa  

What 5meo does is break your energetic pattern and reconfigure it. If you resist it, blockages will remain. Your problems are not related to the chemistry of the substance, that dissapears of the body in some minutes, but to your energetic configuration. For me the solution would be to go to the end, but it doesn't seem like you really want that, so I don't know what to tell you.

[LSD-Rumi]

@khalifa Yeah, antidepressants like prozac should help you. They will block 5 meo from engaging with serotonin receptors.

[OBEler]

4 hours ago, khalifa said:

@OBEler  already booked a session with him, he told me to do another session with a sitter that knows what he's doing so i can have a full release, and he told me to let go and not struggle like last time while laying down on the ground star like pose *since i've tripped on my stomach, he mentioned unideal poses can cause bloackages like it did with my case*

i don't think 5meo can cure chronic anxiety/GAD, if it can that would be weird honestly since it's given me the PTSD/GAD and now i russian roulette role it again to try and get rid of it or maybe even it might gets worse, which is why i've been avoiding it

 

@Breakingthewall  my goal was obviously to experience the hype of 5meo? which it's just another drug that gave me some unwanted mental handicaps, and physical damage, my kidneys have been horrible i've been peeing foamy pee after some months, till today for years, it's alarming that i have foamy pee and the lab doesn't seem to pick anything up, and it's been hurting lately too

I would follow Martin Balls advice and would do another full release dose but I can understand your fear of playing Russian roulette again. This fear needw to be reduced first

Edited January 28, 2024 by OBEler

[Merkabah Star]

On 27/1/2024 at 10:14 PM, khalifa said:

when does this shit stop? it's getting annoying

 

i mean sure i'm used to it but it's like a roller coaster, just when i think it's never coming again, nope just another day of a random night of hello, here's a weak baby dose of 5meo

 

this crap seriously has given me some serious PTSD/GAD chronic anxiety, never felt the same since 2019

 

the current symptoms i'm facing is 24/7 uneasyness anxiety, vibrations on my body, overwhelmed throat and tightness in chest.

my memory has taken a big hit too, sometimes i can't even tell if i've showered for the day or not, i used to have amazing memory before it, it has made me less assertive since i don't like to wrong anyone by being arrogant, and i start doubting my memory, my confidence has taken a big blow, i feel weaker than what i used to be mentally, noticed weak impulse control too, i feel like i'm a different nerfed like person that's unstable with his mind, i no longer feel stable with my well being and thoughts, it feels like i have some sort of ocd at times

See a good homeopath. They will level you out. 

[Breakingthewall]

Many times in the past that I did 5meo after was a feeling of oppression in my legs and hands. I once had muscle twitching all over my body for 2 days. At one point I was in bed and I focused on releasing all the energy. My whole body trembled for minutes, the download was brutal, over and over again. Once it stopped, the fasciculations had completely stopped. This makes me think that this energy must be released or it can be dangerous. If I were you, I would release the energy as soon as possible or you could have a serious problem. I'm not saying this to worry you but that's what I think. neurological problems, health problems in general. address the problem and solve it. intensive meditation, awareness of your body and your energy flow, sport, and if necessary, open yourself completely to 5meo.

 

Edited January 29, 2024 by Breakingthewall

[Breakingthewall]

On 28/1/2024 at 5:42 PM, OBEler said:

would follow Martin Balls advice and would do another full release dose but I can understand your fear of playing Russian roulette again. This fear needw to be reduced first

I would do it little by little, starting with low dosage, keeping in mind that your goal is energy liberation, no insight or realization, and doing it many times, a lot, until he's used to the substance. It could be a miraculous medicine if you know how to use, but you need instinct. I think you had that instinct when you microdose and all people here told you, don't be so conservative, do more, but if your instinct tells you that it's not the moment, it isn't. That's why facilitators are a very bad idea. 

[Breakingthewall]

29 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

really depends on what resonates with you. Trauma that happened during your adolescence doesn't usually sit as deep as childhood trauma, but I'm not sure if that equation works out for the psychedelic sort of spiritual trauma that you've encountered. That's why I can't certainly tell you what to do. You have to be able to assess your own minds capabilities and limitations and work something out in accordance to that.

On 28/1/2024 at 5:42 PM, OBEler said:

 

It's not my case, who has the problem is the op, When I was stuck with 5meo I saw it clearly: get to the bottom, again and again. Now I'm a little lazy with that, sometimes I do low doses because it's beautiful, but a full dose makes me lazy. I have achieved the same thing with a little LSD and weed. It is looking at the living infinity in front. the total opening. At a given moment, you are looking into the abyss and the abyss is you. the abyss lives. that is, there is no more awakening. There is nothing to say, nothing to understand. You are free, you are unlimited, you are life.  that's it. It can't be better. Better is not an option, that's the whole thing. 

Edited January 29, 2024 by Breakingthewall

[OBEler]

3 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

I would do it little by little, starting with low dosage, keeping in mind that your goal is energy liberation, no insight or realization, and doing it many times, a lot, until he's used to the substance. It could be a miraculous medicine if you know how to use, but you need instinct. I think you had that instinct when you microdose and all people here told you, don't be so conservative, do more, but if your instinct tells you that it's not the moment, it isn't. That's why facilitators are a very bad idea. 

That is a good point. 

Yes facilitators can be a real problem in this case.

[Thought Art]

Qigong 

[Theplay]

I literally wrote a whole post on my experience with psychedelics and deleted it knowing on whos web site I write it.

I was hospitalized in mental institutions 6 times after severe psychosis.

My first one was at age 19 when I first took LSD.

Psychedelics are a Russian roulette and you can severely damage the chemistry of your brain.

I'm still taking pills.

I think its irresponsible advising doing the same thing that got you to this position again.

Or prescribing what pills you should take.

Fuck it ill tell it even if I get removed from this forum:

Psychedelics are not a magic pill to enlightenment.

They definitely show you something, and have a promise to show you more if you do more of them.

When I took DMT I was asked : "what do you want to experience?" I answered : "Beautiful views"

Then the answer was: " You need to do more for that to happen ". Then I realized, if I take more and get my wish granted

I will become addicted to that experience.

I've been Irresponsible and have taken LSD around 20 more times some of them where 1000+ doses.

I've had some of the most amazing experiences with them.

But now I have flashbacks constantly which are so intense it cannot be put to words.

I can only lie down on my bed and stare at the sealing when they happen , and when they catch me off guard when I'm not home Its a nightmare.

I literally cover myself with a blanket like a baby afterwards.

I used to be a professional rock climber before my first psychosis.

Now I'm sitting at home smoking cigarettes.

Psychedelics might have opened my mind but they have also cost me my life.

I see classmates getting married and I'm just recovering from Psychotic episodes only to find myself back in a mental institutions.

I don't know if you have a mental illness but you should seek professional help.

Fortunately there are people who have dedicated their lives to helping someone in this situation.

One guy eats peanut butter and its tasty the other one has a severe allergic reaction.

I've met many guys who got fucked up by chemicals in my hospitalizations.

My friends are ok though. Still doing shit loads of drugs and seem not to get phased.

Short cuts are never smart when it comes to spirituality.

There is a reach tradition of Buddhism and zen that studied enlightenment for ages.

I sincerely hope you get out of it and feel better.

Welcome to message me if you feel like.      

[Breakingthewall]

@Theplay

On 28/1/2024 at 5:42 PM, OBEler said:

 

Did you do 1000 ug of LSD? How was?

[Theplay]

@Breakingthewall Amazing I was saying "Its the best trip I've ever done" so many times during that one.

It acted strongly on my emotions as well at the beginning I cried from a track it was as if I felt the acid. Usually it only works on my mind.

But my flashbacks are waaay stronger. Really I cant imagine tripping harder then my flashbacks and if there is such possibility honestly I really don't want to experience it. If a regular person would have got one of my flashbacks he would have sat in an insane asylum for the rest of his life.

Its like going mad X1000.

And it can happen any time. 

I hear voices repeating: "There is only one thing in reality, you are god, there is only you, there is nothing to worry about forever"

And I feel I'm on the brink of dying.

You would think that I just got it and was like "Ok now I'm god the only being in the universe".

But no. When I come down of it everything is back to be exactly how it was before.

That's why in my opinion psychedelics can give you only a preview of enlightenment and not make it your natural state when you are sober.

 

[Thought Art]

I don’t know what’s up, but wish you well

[Breakingthewall]

2 hours ago, Theplay said:

There is only one thing in reality, you are god, there is only you, there is nothing to worry about forever"

Yeah but did you really open yourself? I mean, everything that is said here about: I realized that I am God and I am creating reality, is interesting, but it is still a mental structure. The total opening is: total infinity without limit. There is no you that realizes and says: wow I am infinite and I am the creator, but rather you spill into the abyss and dissolve in the impersonal ocean of existence, beyond any realization. This is perfect, the more it happens, the better.  

Actually, knowing that this reality is an illusion is just structure. is to compare it with something that is not an illusion. In fact, knowing is something that is structure, it is within the totality. At an absolute level it is completely meaningless, it is something limited. the unlimited cannot be understood since understanding is something that occurs within it. awakening is becoming limitless, and the need to know or understand is greed that grabs and creates limits. This is what creates psychosis and problems. the total break does not create problems, it is perfect