Sex: Should I...

[Sage_Elias]

I'm 19 years old and I want to become a sage. I've never had sex before and I get the idea that celibacy is a good thing to observe as a Sage because it keeps us focussed on the path. 

Here is my specific situation:

1) I have a small porn addiction so having sex might enhance my sexual desires.

2) I actually want to have sex but at the same time I dont want to enhance any addiction. 

3) I have been meditating consistently for 8 months now and I am considering to not have sex for the next two years because by then, I would have built a better foundation in meditation, hence, I would not become addicted from having sex.

What do you think?

 

[Prabhaker]

4 minutes ago, Sage_Elias said:

I get the idea that celibacy is a good thing to observe as a Sage

Celibacy is not a discipline, it is a consequence. You put your total energy so you don’t have any energy... and it happens in ordinary life also. You can see a great painter: he forgets women completely. When he is painting there is no sex in his mind,because the whole energy is moving. You don’t have any extra energy. A great poet, a great singer, a dancer who is moving totally in his commitment, automatically becomes celibate. He has no discipline for it. Sex is superfluous energy; sex is a safety valve. When you have too much in you and you cannot do anything with it, the nature has made a safety valve; you can throw it out. You can release it, otherwise you will go mad or burst – explode. And if you try to suppress it, then too you will go mad, because suppressing it won’t help. It needs a transformation, and that transformation comes from total commitment. A warrior, if he is really a warrior – an impeccable warrior, will be beyond sex. His whole energy is moving.

[Toby]

Attached to non-attachment is not the same as non-attachment. The Buddha said something of the middle way, don't get too extreme in this or that way. Take it easy.

[SFRL]

16 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Celibacy is not a discipline, it is a consequence. You put your total energy so you don’t have any energy... and it happens in ordinary life also. You can see a great painter: he forgets women completely. When he is painting there is no sex in his mind,because the whole energy is moving. You don’t have any extra energy. A great poet, a great singer, a dancer who is moving totally in his commitment, automatically becomes celibate. He has no discipline for it. Sex is superfluous energy; sex is a safety valve. When you have too much in you and you cannot do anything with it, the nature has made a safety valve; you can throw it out. You can release it, otherwise you will go mad or burst – explode. And if you try to suppress it, then too you will go mad, because suppressing it won’t help. It needs a transformation, and that transformation comes from total commitment. A warrior, if he is really a warrior – an impeccable warrior, will be beyond sex. His whole energy is moving.

I think you are definitely on to something here. 

I have experienced this from time to time. When you are really focused and passionate about something sex takes a background. 

[Prabhaker]

12 minutes ago, Sage_Elias said:

I actually want to have sex

Truth is that sex makes man a fool, gives him the idea that he is the master of it, while he is only a slave, hence, the condemnation of sex by all the religions. You are being used by some unknown force of which you have no idea. The man living on the instinctive level only has an hallucination of love. That hallucination is created by nature, by biology, chemistry. You have in your body drugs which are released when you are making love, and you start moving into euphoria. 

I don't call sex a sin, I simply call it stupid. I am not saying that you will suffer hell — what more hell do you need to suffer? You are already suffering in it. And what does it go on giving to you? It just keeps you engaged — engaged in the other so that you can avoid yourself. That is its basic stupidity: it keeps you ignorant because it keeps you ignoring yourself.

I am not condemning it, I am simply stating a fact. It is your bondage. It keeps you unconscious. It does not allow you to see what you are doing. You are possessed by it. That's why I call it stupid: it keeps you unconscious, it keeps you in a kind of possession. It is hormonal, it is chemical. It is not you; it is just your biology that goes on forcing you to do certain things.

If you watch, you will be surprised: What are you doing? And why are you doing? What are you gaining out of it? What have you gained up to now? And in your saner moments you know perfectly well what I am saying, you understand it; but those saner moments are very superficial — they come and go — and soon you are back in the same trap again.

The mechanism of sex is a momentary phenomenon. It only functions momentarily; if you do not cooperate at the right moment, it stops. At the right moment your cooperation is needed, otherwise it cannot work. It is only a momentary mechanism, and if you do not cooperate with it, it will stop by itself.

Sex is not so forceful as we feel it to be. It is forceful only momentarily: it is not a twenty-four-hour affair, it is a momentary challenge. Real awareness always leads you beyond sex, and celibacy happens on its own accord. 

Meditation brings a kind of celibacy, but not vice versa. A celibacy without meditation is nothing but sexual repression. Celibacy should be brought very slowly. All that brings you again and again to sexuality has to be dropped slowly, in steps.

[Zenrik]

@Sage_Elias Dont get over your head. Sex once in a while is no biggy, its much easyer to be addicted to porn that real sex. Your energies will only be affected at the later stages if you orgasem to often. 

Check out this video. 

 

[Sir Raz]

@Prabhaker I see that you read Osho from what you have posted  ..

@Sage_Elias  I don't think you'll be addicted to sex if you do it once or twice. It won't affect your meditation habit....and I mean....you can have sex and still remain a celibate after that. You know?

[Prabhaker]

58 minutes ago, Sir Raz said:

I see that you read Osho from what you have posted

Yes, If you cannot find a Buddha or a Jesus, you will still follow someone  great because you don't know where to go. 

1 hour ago, Sir Raz said:

you can have sex and still remain a celibate after that. You know?

If @Sage_Elias  wants to become sage , he can remain celibate by living a meditative life. Sex is absence of meditation. 

[SFRL]

Sex can be a huge distraction. 

That being said I am not so sure Jesus, Mohammed, and other Sages have been celibate their whole lives. 

[aurum]

The question I'd have you ask yourself is: are you being honest?

Do you really want to become a sage so badly that you're going to become celibate?

Or, are you actually afraid of what would happen if you tried to have sex?

I'm not saying which is true. But self-honesty either way is going to be critical here.

Next, I'd question the assumption you have that having a sex life will distract you from the path. You're taking that highly for granted which makes me feel like you're just trying to rationalize your decision to become celibate.

What about Tantric sex? Tantric sex is an entire spiritual practice based around sex.

So dig into your motivations a little more before you make any drastic decisions. Why do you feel like you have to be a sage? Who told you that you should do that?

[Martin123]

@Sage_Elias Addiction is in essence just an illusion.
There is the energetical cause behind it, it is not even a cause, rather your own willingness to step out of your freedom.
So choose freedom, and embrace whatever facet of life you deem desireable. 

[Martin123]

@Sage_Elias By the way if you wanna become a "sage" I dont know what that implies to you, but to me it implies absolute freedom in one's choices and actions.
Sex in and of itself cannot take away your freedom.
Rigid celibacy can though. If it is celibacy based on your "freedom" and it is a willing choice, then of course will only enhance your state of freedom.
It can also be that in some sstage of your freedom celibacy will be perfect, and at then you will move into a new domain of freedom where you will just wanna fuck the shit out of everything due to your willingness for human connection.

[Martin123]

@Sage_Elias Also high degrees of freedom will most likely bring high desire for service to others .At times your emotional body can use sex as means of transmuting energy into others for healing and freeing other beings into preferable parallel realities. 
That of course cannot be mistaken for the animalistic drive for sex in order to look for completion due to guilt and other baggage imposed in the form of conditioning onto your physical body.

[pluto]

If anything sex will lead to less porn lol

[Toby]

On 9.4.2017 at 1:36 AM, Martin123 said:

@Sage_Elias Also high degrees of freedom will most likely bring high desire for service to others .At times your emotional body can use sex as means of transmuting energy into others for healing and freeing other beings into preferable parallel realities.

There are some teachers that used that argument to abuse students sexually. "Hey, this will be really beneficial for your spiritual development"..

[Spiral]

Have sex out of love and skip the porn.

Even being promiscuous is better than porn, but i would recommend doing neither.

[Martin123]

1 hour ago, Toby said:

There are some teachers that used that argument to abuse students sexually. "Hey, this will be really beneficial for your spiritual development"..

Hahaha ikr funny.