How to deal with criticism?

[Spiritual Warrior]

I've been putting myself out there more and it has elicited unwanted criticism. How does someone deal with this and not let criticism shape his self image? 

[Yimpa]

By directly feeling the intelligence of criticism.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW8yzTUFcts

 

[Spiritual Warrior]

  On 1/15/2024 at 10:33 PM, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW8yzTUFcts

 

Why don't you use your words?

[Spiritedness]

@Spiritual Warrior Let him send his links, he responds like this to every topic almost. It's cool af and gets to the point. @Raze you're a legend!

[Princess Arabia]

  On 1/15/2024 at 11:15 PM, Spiritual Warrior said:

Why don't you use your words?

Is that a criticism. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

  On 1/16/2024 at 0:36 AM, Princess Arabia said:

Is that a criticism. 

Yes it is 

I'm sorry @Raze

[lostingenosmaze]

@Spiritedness

https://youtu.be/rCrYZVnSMh4?si=ubx8yrHBp5EV5byD

[SeaMonster]

Is the criticism correct and/or useful (in other words are there changes I need to make?)

Then you welcome the criticism, make changes and PROFIT.

Is it not correct/fair/constructive? Ignore it.

"Self-image" is beside the point.  There is what's true and what isn't.

[Princess Arabia]

  On 1/16/2024 at 0:41 AM, Spiritual Warrior said:

Yes it is 

I'm sorry @Raze

Lol

[Sandhu]

The subtle art of not giving a f*ck. The single most helpful idea/practice mark manson shares. 

[bebotalk]

  On 1/15/2024 at 9:01 PM, Spiritual Warrior said:

I've been putting myself out there more and it has elicited unwanted criticism. How does someone deal with this and not let criticism shape his self image? 

A rule of thumb can be:

 

- is it valid?

- if it's valid, should one care? 

- if it's valid, who is dispensing this and it what context?

- if it's invalid, one can ignore it.

 

[gettoefl]

fault-finders know you better and are more helpful that followers

distinguish between what is painful and what is spiteful

[Yimpa]

  On 1/16/2024 at 4:36 PM, bebotalk said:

- is it valid?

Criticism is valid from a certain point of view. Understanding how the person’s mindset dictates their behavior leads to less resistance and more empathy.

[SeaMonster]

  On 1/16/2024 at 4:41 PM, Yimpa said:

Criticism is valid from a certain point of view. Understanding how the person’s mindset dictates their behavior leads to less resistance and more empathy.

You don't need to consider the other person's mindset because it's irrelevant; you only need to objectively, honestly self-introspect to see whether it's valid and actionable.  

  On 1/16/2024 at 4:37 PM, gettoefl said:

distinguish between what is painful and what is spiteful

Yeah, that's an excellent distinction.

[Yimpa]

  On 1/16/2024 at 5:20 PM, SeaMonster said:

You don't need to consider the other person's mindset because it's irrelevant; you only need to objectively, honestly self-introspect to see whether it's valid and actionable.  

Wait until you realize that other’s mindset and feelings are precisely your own. It’s a paradox, but actually practical. You’d stop wanting to hurt others and yourself.

[Princess Arabia]

  On 1/16/2024 at 5:32 PM, Yimpa said:

Wait until you realize that other’s mindset and feelings are precisely your own. It’s a paradox, but actually practical. You’d stop wanting to hurt others and yourself.

Your mindset and feelings aren't even your own muchless others. 

[SeaMonster]

  On 1/16/2024 at 5:32 PM, Yimpa said:

Wait until you realize that other’s mindset and feelings are precisely your own. It’s a paradox, but actually practical. You’d stop wanting to hurt others and yourself.

Only if I'm projecting that energy onto the other person to play out; but in some cases he could be projecting onto me, which would have nothing to do with my issues.

[Yimpa]

All of this is true from our unique perspectives and I am feeling the vibes

[Applegarden8]

I have this ratio for taking criticism.

90 % of the case I think criticism you get is just a projection of the insecurity of the projector. It maybe contains some truth. You will passively-agressively hear it, just ignore it. I would call this criticism "let me give yoh advice you didn't ask for and I haven't even reflected on or purposely avoid reflecting on it, hence i am projecting to all of you"

9 % of the criticism is somewhat constructive and the person criticizing has some insight about the topic they are criticizing you. You can acctually engage back and forth.

1 % of criticism I take, and reflect. This is good news. I am criticized by somebody who cares about me and is smarter than me. Why I know he is smarter? He lives the lifestyle I want and is far more competent in the field. You can reason with him and he wants to help you.

How to acctually deal with it emotionally, there are techniques, but you can direct message me and I will tell you.