Should I Get A Dog?

[Something Funny]

I struggle with loneliness and depression, and because of that I am not able to live the life I would like to live. I spend a lot of my days laying in bed and eating junk food, I have a hard time keeping my house clean, I am not able to stick to whatever goals I set for myself, I have no social life.

Recently got this idea of getting myself a dog. And here is why I think it would help me deal with my issues:

1) It would support me emotionally, preventing me from getting depressed and feeling lonely

2) Taking care of someone else would motivate me, mobilize me to take action, work on improving my life, etc., etc.

For example, I feel like I can tolerate living in a dirty house myself, but there is no way that I would ever allow my dog to live in a dirty house. I would also want to get a better career that is more flexible and pays more, so that I can take care of my dog better. And in general, I think that owning a dog would improve my whole lifestyle and make it much more healthy, grounded, and consistent.

On the other hand, I feel like having a dog could hold me back in a lot of ways:

- It will make it even harder for me to find time for going out and socializing
- I will have less time for everything else, including developing new skills, starting a business, doing spirituality, etc., etc.
- Taking care of a dog costs money, and I don't have that much money
- Having a dog would make moving places much harder

But then you could of course make an argument that I am not able to do any of these things anyway in the mental state I currently am, so it would be better for me to get a dog, which will help me pull myself together, even though on paper, taking care of a dog takes a lot of time and energy.

Any thoughts?

[Mada_]

probably not

[dudts]

To be honest, if I were you, I'd make sure I could take care of myself properly before I committed to taking care of another being, which, as you mentioned, does require energy and resources, especially if it's a dog. (I do think cats are lower maintenance somehow.)

But I am not you, and it is possible that you function differently, so I'd suggest you take care of a dog that is not yours for a couple of days or weeks. See how it impacts your psyche and your life overall. And decide whether to get a dog of your own afterwards.

I'm thinking maybe if you have friends or family with a dog, you could ask them to take care of their dog for some time. If not maybe volunteer to help out in an animal shelter? or rescue a stray dog, and if you can't handle it, you can give it to a shelter? I do not know where you live or what the options are, but you get the idea: experience it before committing.

Best of luck ! 

[Something Funny]

47 minutes ago, dudts said:

To be honest, if I were you, I'd make sure I could take care of myself properly before I committed to taking care of another being, which, as you mentioned, does require energy and resources, especially if it's a dog. (I do think cats are lower maintenance somehow.)

Well, that's the point. I don't think I can take care of myself probably because it's just me. If I had somebody else to keep me company it would be totally different.

[dudts]

@Something Funny I still don't think that the first step would be to get a dog. Too risky for the dog.

I am sure there are other ways of lessening loneliness: clubs, gyms, volunteering, events, etc.. So maybe start with that before committing to dog ownership.

Another suggestion is to make "getting the dog"  a motivation for you to become more healthy and disciplined, it would be some sort of reward that you should only obtain after a couple of months of being consistent with following up on your goals for example (or whatever you'd like to expect from yourself; remember that improving takes time and do not overwhelm yourself with too ambitious goals, I suggest reading "atomic habits" and many of leo's old video are helpful in this endeavour )

Also, if you feel you struggle with severe depression, maybe investing in therapy is a more secure and proven way to get out of it than investing in a dog.

[Something Funny]

5 minutes ago, dudts said:

Too risky for the dog.

I am not risky for the dog. I would definitely take a good care of it. I know that you didn't mean it but it actually feels kind of insulting, tbh.

7 minutes ago, dudts said:

I am sure there are other ways of lessening loneliness: clubs, gyms, volunteering, events, etc.. So maybe start with that before committing to dog ownership.

Another suggestion is to make "getting the dog"  a motivation for you to become more healthy and disciplined, it would be some sort of reward that you should only obtain after a couple of months of being consistent with following up on your goals for example (or whatever you'd like to expect from yourself; remember that improving takes time and do not overwhelm yourself with too ambitious goals, I suggest reading "atomic habits" and many of leo's old video are helpful in this endeavour )

If I thought that any of that would work, I would be doing that instead. 

8 minutes ago, dudts said:

Also, if you feel you struggle with severe depression, maybe investing in therapy is a more secure and proven way to get out of it than investing in a dog.

I already have a coach / therapist, I don't feel like those two things are mutually exclusive.

Also, I am going to wait until our next session, before I make any decisions, because I want to talk with her about it.

[Spiritual Warrior]

Let go of the desire and see if it comes back to you

[Something Funny]

@Spiritual Warrior i did, it's been coming and going for six months now.

[caspex]

Quote

For example, I feel like I can tolerate living in a dirty house myself, but there is no way that I would ever allow my dog to live in a dirty house. I would also want to get a better career that is more flexible and pays more, so that I can take care of my dog better. And in general, I think that owning a dog would improve my whole lifestyle and make it much more healthy, grounded, and consistent.

All you are doing is raising the minimum level of effort required to live your life. Yes, it may improve your life a little bit because you have bound yourself to some more responsibilities. However, you are not treating the problem, but only the symptoms. It seems you have accepted that you cannot trust yourself in the future, and therefore look for solutions to force your future self into doing the right thing. Listen, do not lose hope and give up on yourself.

I have tried similar things in the past, and I made myself think that I am not terrible enough to laze around at the cost of someone else but because you have not treated the cause, you slowly but surely become that terrible. All you have done is raised the minimum effort in your day to day activities. You may be pumped up after getting a dog but after sometime you'll start to do the bare minimum again. Nothing can thrive by doing the bare minimum.

What you need is to not give up on your self. What you need is more human interaction, more genuine human interaction. What you need is to let go of self-destructive habits. What you need is to feel a sense of progress. What you need is to do tangible, material action, however small, on a day to day basis. You need to set all that up, by yourself, with incredibly low levels of energy. That's why it's hard, but persistence doesn't require energy if you have enough time to recover. Keep persisting and you'll break through. Not giving up doesn't require energy, and giving up doesn't free you up.

In my honest opinion, only if you are able to persist like this for a year, should you get a dog. I suffered with loneliness and depression for about 5 years before I had a breakthrough. It's hard man, but it's over when you give up.

Edited January 13 by Swarnim

[Yimpa]

https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/news/everything-about-emotional-support-animals/

Would also recommend befriending dog sitters. They have a wealth of knowledge and experience with dogs

Edited January 13 by Yimpa

[Something Funny]

@Swarnim your point makes sense, but I am not sure if it is true. I am not giving up on myself, just trying to find a solution that works for me.

2 hours ago, Swarnim said:

However, you are not treating the problem, but only the symptoms.

What if the root cause of a problem is me being alone all the time. Getting a dog would address it then.

2 hours ago, Swarnim said:

All you have done is raised the minimum effort in your day to day activities. You may be pumped up after getting a dog but after sometime you'll start to do the bare minimum again. Nothing can thrive by doing the bare minimum.

But I don't think that I am going to be doing the bare minimum. I think I might finally start enjoying life.

2 hours ago, Swarnim said:

In my honest opinion, only if you are able to persist like this for a year, should you get a dog. I suffered with loneliness and depression for about 5 years before I had a breakthrough. It's hard man, but it's over when you give up.

This approach of thinking that I should first prepare myself perfectly before I decide to do something has never worked for me. I would always end up just procrastinating away.

On the other hand, jumping right into the thing that I want to do and dealing with challenges as they come has worked well several times in my life.

[Yimpa]

@Something Funny get a dog and send us a picture once you adopt. We will be looking forward to meeting your new best friend.

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa haha, okay

I still want to let my excitement cool down a bit and wait for a few weeks to pass before I make the final decision. But if I end up deciding to get a dog, I will share it here

Edited January 13 by Something Funny

[Yimpa]

8 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I still want to let my excitement cool down a bit and wait for a few weeks to pass before I make the final decision. But if I end up deciding to get a dog, I will share it here

Absolutely, enjoy the whole journey; not needing a final result to be satisfied.

In the meantime, you can also dip your feet in the water by:

• watching dog videos and documentaries
•  join a dog community online
•  visit your local dog park and chat with some of the folks there.
• Volunteer at your local animal shelter

 

 

Edited January 13 by Yimpa

[Rafael Thundercat]

Get a God

[Something Funny]

@Rafael Thundercat get a hobby and stop posting arrogant comments that don't help anyone.

[Yimpa]

Dog ♾️ God

[Something Funny]

38 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Dog ♾️ God

Oh, that's actually funny, haha.

@Rafael Thundercat sorry, I guess I might have misunderstood you <3