Was this enlightenment? (Psilocybin trip)

[Ampresus]

Hello everybody,

A couple days ago me and my girlfriend tripped on 10g of magic truffles. I won't bore you with the details, but I did have a significant experience which I'd like to share.

During my trip, my girlfriend got really upset because she missed her family. She felt extremely lost with what she wants to do with her life, her job and her school. Her family is overseas and she moved to my country to have a better future, yet she keeps thinking that she isn't making any progress here and would much rather spend her time back there. Although her home country isn't the best, at least she'd be with her family. Now of course I got emotional too and tried to comfort her, but that thought process stuck with me for the rest of my trip.

I'll admit that I myself don't know exactly what I want out of life. Yes, I bought the LP course. Yes, I watched (almost) all of Leo's videos/did the work. I'm currently stuck on the section where you have to read biographies, so my progress halted. I have been stressed too. I have been looking for a place for us to live (we currently live with my mother), the past 3 months I was looking for a place near my uni but couldn't find any and I still don't have a proper job. What the trip showed me next was something remarkable.

It started off with me closing my eyes. I'm not sure what I experienced was, what you guys call, "infinity". Infinite patterns and colors surrounded me and brought me to an almost alien world. It was there where I realized what Leo has said before. God is infinite, and his reasoning for being infinite was because he could. The whole point of me seeing what I saw was because I could see it. It was right there in front of my eyes, yet I felt like I had been so blind. Another realization (I guess? Perhaps you call it something else) hit me as well: life is about love. As "Matt Kahn" as it could get haha. Literally all life is about is giving and receiving love. God loves itself, reality loves itself, which is why it exists. It sounds so weird, but this kept screaming at me. 

Explaining this to my sad girlfriend did obviously not any good, besides making her laugh. She said she found my love-message inspirational, but the other one she didn't get. I tried explaining to her that ultimately all her worries are just that. Thoughts in her heads that she gives value. I tried explaining to her that objectively it doesn't matter whether she stays or goes back, both are out of love. Both are correct, not one specific one. Now that I write this down, I'm starting to realize why I sounded so confusing to her...

Anyways, I wonder what you guys think. I must say it didn't feel like ego death, since I could still remember everything about myself. When I closed my eyes however, for a second, I didn't feel like "I" anymore. If I had to guess, I was slowly approaching ego death. I do remember thinking by myself: "is this it? Am I ready? Will all this be gone? I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm scared. At the same time though, this is what the work has always been about. This is the journey I started. I'm not sure I'm ready yet."

I'm tripping again next week with either a slightly stronger variant or a higher dosage of the previous one. I'll try to explore further if I can. Please let me know if any of this sounds familiar to you guys.   

 

[Rigel]

I won't say if it was or if it wasn't cause I don't have a clue. All I am going to say is that it's very easy to hear all of those sweet vids from Leo & then deceive yourself that you've experienced that stuff when you really haven't. The fact you gotta ask here to make sure is a red flag to me. Take back your authority but stay very honest with yourself is my advice.

[halfknots]

Yes what you described is a perfectly natural part of the exploration of consciousness.

The nature of enlightenment is the subject of debate and is a matter of semantics and what we choose to believe.

Some would say you had a realization, insight or an awakening, with the distinction being that enlightenment is a permanent shift or expansion in consciousness.

What we call your experience matters less than how you integrate it. The primacy of love is a valuable and transformational realization.

Edited January 12 by halfknots

[Ishanga]

I would say You had a glimpse of it, as most of us have, but not totally there yet..I haven't done any hard psycedelics yet, just some pot, and a bit of psylocibin, but have had some natural experience of oneness, bliss, and general well being via the Yoga practice I do...Have done a ton of research on trips though, I watch a guy named Shawn Ryan, he's an ex Navy seal/Cia contractor, and has a big podcast channel on Youtube, he went away a couple of years ago to try DMT and Ibogane and recalled his experience in a video, it was very similar to Yours, feeling of Love and Oneness, that everything is perfect..One thing I notice though since coming to this forum, when ppl talk about their trips and their feeling of Love, it always includes I and God and Love is everything, since I have been doing practices and involvement with Spirituality for a long time I guess it is just my education on the subject coming into my mind when I read this sort of thing, but isn't it a feeling of Bliss that You are having? When I feel in Love, I feel Blissful, very happy and excited and intense about it, the thing with Love as most of us know it involves a relationship, You and Object, so when someone says God Loves itself, Reality Loves itself, that is two entities one Loving and One being Loved, how is it that God is Two? But it is good to have these sorts of experience, just root it in practices now and try to get there naturally, its awesome as well:)