If only the top 20% of men are attractive to women, what are the 80% doing?

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 1/13/2024 at 5:25 PM, Oppositionless said:

but if you’re doing this work , have a life purpose and learn how to socialize you will get plenty of interest.

Well for some of us, improving our attraction skills to get better with women IS our entire life purpose. Seems like a pretty valid one to me since sex and reproduction is and always has been the primary driving force of all physical life. That also automatically puts you in situations where upping your social skills is either a requirement or happens automatically. So everything takes care of itself. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 1/12/2024 at 11:27 AM, Devin said:

Women don't value looks like men do

You’re right. They value it significantly more. Hence 

On 1/7/2024 at 9:36 AM, Jason Actualization said:

My guess is dating app statistics suggesting that disproportionately more men swipe right on women, than women do on men.

I forgot the exact number but women say yes to men at an insanely lower rate than men say yes to women on dating apps. And the main factors that make men stand out on dating apps is face and height.

On 1/6/2024 at 10:48 AM, numbersinarow said:

Blaming themselves for being born in areas with "no opportunities," thinking cold approach in a big city would be better? Blaming themselves for not moving to those big cities, for which they need money, for which they need a college degree, for which they need to move to those areas in the first place? Creating a reality bubble for themselves in which there aren't countless examples of men worse than them getting validated by women, getting kissed/hugged without even having to flirt? Seeing nothing wrong with the fact that you specifically have to seek out opportunities for something which is apparently a good deal for a woman, yet which she is not seeking or ever will seek from them herself?

It is fucking IMPOSSIBLE to get a less than 200 lb girlfriend if you’re some 5’8 socially inexperienced guy in a 60k population city. And I definitely don’t blame myself for not being able to move out. I didn’t ask for this shit. It hurts me to bring weight into it because fat chicks are some of the coolest, funniest people I’ve ever met. But they aren’t very fuckable if we’re being honest. But they’re way more fun to hang out with than hot girls in my experience. 

Seriously, there are no chances for us. No opportunities, no connections. Nothing. What do you do in this state? Go knocking door to door in your neighborhood asking to see available women in the family? Go cold approach at malls, college campuses you don’t attend and bars/clubs where one wrong move gets you harassed by authority figures who don’t give the tiniest speck of empathy for your suicidal desperation? Go wedding crashing? Party crashing?

80 percent of this struggle would be solved if we weren’t so unfortunate to be born in a small city because god is some sick and twisted motherfucker that strokes his fat goober and gets off to the sight of us being ruthlessly tormented by seeing happy couples rubbed in our faces like taunting a starving child with delicious food, and being heavily punished for our mistakes when we goof up socially trying to climb out of our hell hole.

But no. God fucking hates our miserable, suffering asses and is constantly working overtime to keep us stuck. A big city would take most of that away because social mistakes don’t carry nearly as heavy of a penalty. That’s because you can go out every night and rarely see the same people twice. Word gets around about you faster and you stick out like a sore thumb because people have less to focus on in smaller cities. NO ROOM FOR ERROR 

On 1/12/2024 at 10:17 AM, Nilsi said:

Also, just for perspective: men have it much easier than girls, who are way more reliant on their (mostly predetermined) looks, in regards to mating opportunities.

This too can be debunked by looking at the numbers. There are twice as many male virgins in the 18-29 age range than female virgins. Also compare the suicide rate between genders and that should tell you something 

On 1/6/2024 at 10:48 AM, numbersinarow said:

a socially isolated male who is below a 5/10, because they think that kind of a guy might do something to them.

This right here speaks volumes about the female threat detection mechanism. Women are afraid those socially inexperienced, 5/10 guys are the dangerous ones when really those kinds of guys would treat them like queens, but they aren’t attracted to them because “weirdo vibes”. Meanwhile they consistently get involved with the actual dangerous men and suffer dire consequences because of it. 

 

[The0Self]

Y’all are delusional as fuck or just don’t have your head in the game. Women are swimming in a sea of sex with guys that suck shit, and if you don’t suck shit you are king.

[Leo Gura]

Jerkin off.

[Emotionalmosquito]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Jerkin off.

Lots of it

4 hours ago, The0Self said:

Y’all are delusional as fuck or just don’t have your head in the game. Women are swimming in a sea of sex with guys that suck shit, and if you don’t suck shit you are king.

I don’t even remember the last time I saw a hot girl with a less attractive/shorter guy. For one thing there just aren’t that many attractive people in my area, so there’s that.

Whatever guys you’re talking about don’t suck nearly as much shit as you think if they’re getting plenty of gfs. The fact that you can’t just walk up to a girl, have a conversation about something, plan a date and then you’ve got your gf, proves this. There’s way way more layers of complication that goes into it; such as: calibration, not saying anything weird, outlandish, or irrelevant, being well dressed/groomed, knowing what she’s feeling in reaction to what you’re saying (which she will not make obvious a lot of the time) and keeping track of all this while somehow also remaining true to yourself and grounded in your authenticity. 

The fact that you have to ace all these hurdles to have any chance of getting a decent girl into bed with you proves that any guy able to do that does not suck shit, imo. They’re legends if they’ve managed to master the art 

 

 

[Rigel]

Those are great numbers. I am attracted to probably less than 1% of women.

[Alexop]

Where did you get those numbers? Even the most creepy men finally find a woman. It is just that they don't socialize enough in order to find the woman who find them attractive.

[Leo Gura]

Let's throw some basic statistics at this issue:

45% of men and women in the US are married. And that doesn't include a ton of people who are in a relationship but not married.

So watch out with your biased view of things.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/

Edited January 20 by Leo Gura

[Yimpa]

 

[AmandaPanda]

On 1/6/2024 at 10:31 AM, Raze said:

That number is just from women rating the mens faces. Women will still date from that 80% even if they don’t find their face initially attractive. 

I just wrote a long response and then realized I typed it into a bookmark 🤦‍♀️ 

 

Anyways, I don’t have time to look at all the responses but thought I could offer perspective. For context I’m a mid personality hire bisexual with hot friends both male and female that has also dated and slept with attractive and cool people as well as some… people. ☺️🫶

 

From what I know the type of women that base relationships solely on initial physical attraction aren’t very mature or experienced in good, healthy partnership or even good sexual rendezvous for that matter. They may be caught up in sex that “looks good” rather than what feels good.

 

You wanna know what attracts hot chicks? 
 

Actual self esteem, a tamed ego, a provider, and someone that can lead and intimidate in all the right ways while still being able to laugh at themselves and the absurdity of love and sex in general.

 

TLDR; if you’re ugly or mid like me you gotta have other shit going for yourself. ❤️🙏☺️

edited to add: if you aren’t risking rejection you’re already “just like the rest of them”. The reason a lot of gals end up with jerks is that they aren’t attached to the outcome they ask out everyone.

 

If a man or woman puts themselves out there for me, personally… I’m gonna have trouble standing up straight because that shit is so hot😂😅

 

 

 

Edited January 20 by AmandaPanda

[StarStruck]

Most women “downgrade” after they realize that the 20% are just interested in having fun with them and they don’t see them as relationship material. 

The 20% of men have it for the choosing and they can’t choose everybody to have a family with. So a lot of women get checked by life when the biological clock starts beeping. They wise up in their 30’ies and date according to their merits.  

I see a lot of women who are obviously beyond their prime (you can see they were hot when they were younger) and they date some nerdy provider now. I can see no chemistry between them. It is a relationship of necessity. It is sad really. The chads get the best of these girls when they were in their 20’ies. 

Edited January 20 by StarStruck

[AmandaPanda]

13 hours ago, The0Self said:

Y’all are delusional as fuck or just don’t have your head in the game. Women are swimming in a sea of sex with guys that suck shit, and if you don’t suck shit you are king.

Some of these responses make me wonder if I need to just step away from the thread but it’s like watching a train collide with an airplane while also not doing my laundry that I’m avoiding…

[BlueOak]

24 minutes ago, AmandaPanda said:

Some of these responses make me wonder if I need to just step away from the thread but it’s like watching a train collide with an airplane while also not doing my laundry that I’m avoiding…

This made me burst out laughing. I hope you post more.

All I can do is highlight the problem, but you are spitting some answers out, its refreshing. If we can get people out of their head, it'll help.

[Yimpa]

Infinite insights? More like, infinite infidelities.  

[kamwalker]

I feel like it's more accurate to say 20% of men don't need anything beyond their looks to get laid. These are the Chads who just have good genetics, but they are the small minority. Honestly even 20% sounds too high. I think it's more like 10% of guys are like that. The other 90% aren't physically attractive enough to do that and they need to develop themselves in another way in order to get attention from women. And that's what most of us end up doing.   If 80-90% of men were actually that physically repulsive to women then we would have a severe population crisis.

There will always be someone who is on your level looks wise and this is the most likely person you will end up with. It's very rare to see a huge deviation where an ugly guy is with a hot girl. Just look around you. Most people that are together it just makes sense from a looks standpoint. So there is no excuse to say you can't find someone because of your looks so long as you don't go out of your way to look unattractive (not shower, not groom yourself, not exercise) 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, kamwalker said:

I feel like it's more accurate to say 20% of men don't need anything beyond their looks to get laid.

That's about right.

Another big factor is extroversion. Even if you don't got top 20% looks, but you are naturally highly social, you will get laid plenty.

Getting laid is mostly a function of how much you socialize.

Edited January 20 by Leo Gura

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, Yimpa said:

 

Regardless of gender, it seems like a more expressive, feminine version of me, or certain people in my family lol.

I recognise my energy and even certain physical characteristics (facial structure, retina which tends downwards revealing the white of the eye, musculature...). 

 

Edited January 20 by Schizophonia

[Yimpa]

@Schizophonia Great.. let’s continue rediscovering our more expressive energy!

[Emotionalmosquito]

13 hours ago, kamwalker said:

If 80-90% of men were actually that physically repulsive to women then we would have a severe population crisis.

There is a severe population crisis 

The important part of that first one starts around the 7 minute mark 

13 hours ago, kamwalker said:

It's very rare to see a huge deviation where an ugly guy is with a hot girl. Just look around you.

Yes! Exactly. That’s why it’s so annoying how people keep saying hot girls end up with ugly guys all the time. If anything you see more of the opposite. I think the  reason people say that is to motivate us to get out of our comfort zones and start living life in order to get us on better standing in general, even though that motivation is based on false hope. Any time u see an attractive woman, its not hard to point out who her boyfriend is if he’s there. 9.9 times out of ten he’ll be the tall, ripped chad. 

I had a hottie in yoga pants tell me her bf was 6’4. This was while I was wearing my shoe lifts which give me an extra 2.5 inches of height putting me around 6’

[Emotionalmosquito]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Let's throw some basic statistics at this issue:

45% of men and women in the US are married. And that doesn't include a ton of people who are in a relationship but not married.

So watch out with your biased view of things.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/

Also pew research center