If only the top 20% of men are attractive to women, what are the 80% doing?

[numbersinarow]

Blaming themselves for being born in areas with "no opportunities," thinking cold approach in a big city would be better? Blaming themselves for not moving to those big cities, for which they need money, for which they need a college degree, for which they need to move to those areas in the first place? Creating a reality bubble for themselves in which there aren't countless examples of men worse than them getting validated by women, getting kissed/hugged without even having to flirt? Seeing nothing wrong with the fact that you specifically have to seek out opportunities for something which is apparently a good deal for a woman, yet which she is not seeking or ever will seek from them herself?

It doesn't matter how much you ignore it, disadvantaged men will never have the slightest chance at something which another person doesn't even need to work at. And something like this has already been proven to be a factor in why men join extremist islamist organizations and the oct 7th attack.

Even if you live in an alternative reality where genetics don't matter and women just care about charisma, you will never ever ever ever solve these men's problems.

Imagine going your entire life needing just one solid answer to why some men get sex and others get cruelty from a group of people who have free will, and not rebelling. How a goodlooking guy can be creepy enough for women to walk to the other side of the street, while a genuinely horrible person gets validated beyond imagination.

Is every last bit of your mind, body and soul weaponized to justify the actions of women and why self-improvement is the answer?

If you have the interests of women in mind, why encourage them to destroy a society with their choices, leading to takeover by some other nation, leading to them living in worse circumstances?

It is time to choose a society where the individual abandons validating a-priori or hating a-priori. Either of those 2. And if not, the society abandons the individual. All of humanity is on the line, as there is no need to even name the potential effects of seeping hate into the collective unconscious needlessly.

Does the system think it can give nothing? If people knew the truth that women will never give them a chance, they would rebel. but again there is no way to hide the effects of this truth. Why not just give drugs or prostitutes to men with no looks or no opportunities? Scandinavia has opted to give prostitutes to men who have physical disabilities (that are severe) but it's as self-evident as it gets that loser category individuals have just as little of a chance if not far, far less.

If you do have opportunities, just improve your looks, go to the gym, use skin care products (absolutely not excessively tho) and you'll see if you are good enough.

Whether or not you should want a certain girl is subjective, as well as if you should want women at all. But remember it's not subjective that men with no opportunities are recruited into islamist terrorist organizations in parts of the world and that this poses a danger.

Should we lie that a woman has incentive to enter a relationship with a man who isn't a winner category individual? No. Because when the disadvantaged men try, they will find out the truth about women. Let's say, for example, that a woman who validated men who they are more attractive than, wouldn't even spit on them AKA an example that would re-wire you to be blackpilled (in the sense of how that expectation, although resonable, was too optimistic).

Also, it's not just that the very fact of someone's possibility to have a relationship contrasting someone else cannot be denied, it's that the fact in the world of someone being validated by women is seen and "created" by both parties, someone's success is only that way because of someone else's "failure." Why do I constantly only see couples in crowded areas? Right, their subconscious knows the CONTRAST of what they do (or have, in the case of the male) to the life of a socially isolated male who is below a 5/10, because they think that kind of a guy might do something to them.

Sadly neither of the solutions I named have been tried, but it doesn't mean they aren't worth trying.

One of the steps forward would be to inform people that they will be affected by the opportunity-lack after they're done with education, so that they try harder during it. This is something you yourself can do. But to prevent undesireable outcomes, solutions might very well be needed.

Edited January 6 by numbersinarow

[Raze]

That number is just from women rating the mens faces. Women will still date from that 80% even if they don’t find their face initially attractive. 

[Schizophonia]

Useless chatter just to ruminate.

[Applegarden8]

Idk how it relates to this topic, but ai got this synth and it's amazing! It has long learning curve though.

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, Applegarden8 said:

Idk how it relates to this topic, but ai got this synth and it's amazing! It has long learning curve though.

Why do you use it? 🤔

[Applegarden8]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Why do you use it? 🤔

Same reason why you use substances.

[SeaMonster]

13 hours ago, numbersinarow said:

Imagine going your entire life needing just one solid answer to why some men get sex and others get cruelty from a group of people who have free will, and not rebelling. How a goodlooking guy can be creepy enough for women to walk to the other side of the street, while a genuinely horrible person gets validated beyond imagination.

The truth is that it's important for men to LOVE THEMSELVES MORE and TREAT THEMSELVES APPROPRIATELY so they are not harboring this desperation when it comes to women.  It begins with the man.

"Creepy" is just a synonym for "emanating vibes of desperation."  This is a result of a lack of the above.

This isn't complicated; it's just a lot of guys don't understand it, or resist it.  They aren't even conscious of it.  They give away all their power and self-control from the get-go because they lack self-love and self-worth.

The fatal flaw in the PUA movement was that it was so heavily centered around Outer Game.  It was just stuff you went out and DID, but the implicit assumptions of it were flawed.  

The implicit assumption of any man should be that YOU'RE the prize; YOU'RE the screener -- but you can't fake it.  It has to be real and you have to work on yourself UNTIL IT IS.

Otherwise you will suffer - 100%.

[MarkKol]

What? Where did you get that metric from? 80% of men have a girlfriend or wife, It’s the 20% that doesn’t. 

[Jason Actualization]

3 hours ago, MarkKol said:

What? Where did you get that metric from? 80% of men have a girlfriend or wife, It’s the 20% that doesn’t. 

My guess is dating app statistics suggesting that disproportionately more men swipe right on women, than women do on men.

[MarkKol]

3 minutes ago, Jason Actualization said:

My guess is dating app statistics suggesting that disproportionately more men swipe right on women, than women do on men.

I'm just going off people I know, there aren't many who are single for months or years, you can generally sense it when someone lacks social experience to the extent that they are unable to find themselves a girlfriend.

[SeaMonster]

4 hours ago, MarkKol said:

What? Where did you get that metric from? 80% of men have a girlfriend or wife, It’s the 20% that doesn’t. 

Pew Research, August 2020.  It's actually 69% -- but when you look at men ages 18 to 29, it's 53%.

And I doubt it's gotten better over the last 3 years, so it's safe to say roughly HALF the young men.

Edited January 7 by SeaMonster

[Nilsi]

This is mostly a problem for young men.

With the advent of birth control we decoupled sexuality from pregnancy, so now every girl can get a taste of the best dick in town.

As they get older, most women want to settle though and pure biological fitness becomes less of an indicator for competence in male sexual partners, so it still tends to work out for most.

None of this should even concern you though, as you can always transcend these „predetermined“ options as a man, by just optimizing for competence-signaling (e.g. physical fitness, emotional intelligence, economic/social status, „looksmaxxing,“ dark-triad traits, etc.) — you could get literally any girl (given that she is available), if you did this correctly.

The best part is: this (becoming competent) is what any young man is naturally driven to want to do anyways, so what even is the problem?

Also, just for perspective: men have it much easier than girls, who are way more reliant on their (mostly predetermined) looks, in regards to mating opportunities.

Edited January 12 by Nilsi

[Devin]

Women don't value looks like men do, the average looking man is sufficient for most women. It's like saying men only find 20% of womens occupations attractive. You're a tool for women, but not one for sex appeal.

Edited January 12 by Devin

[Oppositionless]

it’s more like , for any given man, 20% of women find him attractive, 10% would date him, 5% would marry him, etc.

probably a portion of men are only attractive to 10% of women, but if you’re doing this work , have a life purpose and learn how to socialize you will get plenty of interest.

Edited January 13 by Oppositionless

[Yimpa]

On 1/7/2024 at 11:10 AM, SeaMonster said:

Pew Research, August 2020.  It's actually 69% -- but when you look at men ages 18 to 29, it's 53%.

Lmao.

[Tboy]

On 07/01/2024 at 6:02 AM, SeaMonster said:

The truth is that it's important for men to LOVE THEMSELVES MORE and TREAT THEMSELVES APPROPRIATELY so they are not harboring this desperation when it comes to women.  It begins with the man.

"Creepy" is just a synonym for "emanating vibes of desperation."  This is a result of a lack of the above.

This isn't complicated; it's just a lot of guys don't understand it, or resist it.  They aren't even conscious of it.  They give away all their power and self-control from the get-go because they lack self-love and self-worth.

The fatal flaw in the PUA movement was that it was so heavily centered around Outer Game.  It was just stuff you went out and DID, but the implicit assumptions of it were flawed.  

The implicit assumption of any man should be that YOU'RE the prize; YOU'RE the screener -- but you can't fake it.  It has to be real and you have to work on yourself UNTIL IT IS.

Otherwise you will suffer - 100%.

this is perfect, strongly agree. If men are not turning inward to understand their traumas and finding techniques to heal them - they will project all the desperation caused by the traumas onto women. If men loved/accepted themselves, they wouldn't have a hard time loving/accepting and thus attracting women. The guys who are dicks that attract women appear to have this self love for themselves from the confidence they show but are actually fucked up and terrible partners, not what women truly want

[vindicated erudite]

Top 20% attractiveness male means being the most attractive man out of a group of five men. This is a fair ratio for women to pick.

 

[The0Self]

I’ll tell you what the so-called 80% (those that aren’t able to get laid at the drop of a hat) are not doing, they’re not resonating with this song, to put it bluntly:

Listen to it on acid or something if you’re already using that and somehow not having insights on dating.

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 1/12/2024 at 10:17 AM, Nilsi said:

given that she is available

Girls cheat quite often. Just her being in a relationship won’t necessarily stop her from hooking up with you if you do everything right, right?

[Emotionalmosquito]

On 1/13/2024 at 6:10 PM, Tboy said:

The guys who are dicks that attract women appear to have this self love for themselves from the confidence they show but are actually fucked up and terrible partners,

That right there I believe is our best chance for those of us who’re so fucked up inside that healing our issues would take years of tremendously difficult shadow work to shed the neediness vibe. A much quicker way to start getting girls would be to take that already broken person you are and shape it into something that comes off as fuckable 

Edited January 18 by Emotionalmosquito