How to deal with Asperger’s and an inferior sense of reality?

[Kid A]

In the gaslighting video, Leo says that you should stop looking to others to tell you what is real and what is true, but how do I find the confidence to do that when other people clearly seem to have a more accurate sense of reality?
I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s after going through the first 29 years of my life thinking I was pretty much completely normal. Getting the diagnose was a little shock for me, but nobody else has seemed surprised when I’ve told them about it. It’s like everyone has always known except for me.
I’ve also found out that my friends have been tolerating things I’ve said and done which they would never have tolerated from anyone else, while I’ve been going around thinking I’m behaving just fine.
People have also all my life kept telling me things about me that I don't recognize at all. My physical appearance is the greatest example of this. When I look in the mirror, I see something VERY different from what others see. I see an extremely handsome guy, but when I took psychedelics for the first time three years ago, I suddenly saw a stranger looking back at me with a face that much more fits the description others have of me: A stone face with little facial expression.
All this combined with very poor dating results has led me to have very low self-respect and confidence at this point, which makes me trust others way too much and that keeps getting me into trouble. Any advice? 

Edited January 5 by Kid A

[Ima Freeman]

Try heavy metal detoxification.

[Rafael Thundercat]

1 hour ago, Kid A said:

In the gaslighting video, Leo says that you should stop looking to others to tell you what is real and what is true, but how do I find the confidence to do that when other people clearly seem to have a more accurate sense of reality?
I was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s after going through the first 29 years of my life thinking I was pretty much completely normal. Getting the diagnose was a little shock for me, but nobody else has seemed surprised when I’ve told them about it. It’s like everyone has always known except for me.
I’ve also found out that my friends have been tolerating things I’ve said and done which they would never have tolerated from anyone else, while I’ve been going around thinking I’m behaving just fine.
People have also all my life kept telling me things about me that I don't recognize at all. My physical appearance is the greatest example of this. When I look in the mirror, I see something VERY different from what others see. I see an extremely handsome guy, but when I took psychedelics for the first time three years ago, I suddenly saw a stranger looking back at me with a face that much more fits the description others have of me: A stone face with little facial expression.
All this combined with very poor dating results has led me to have very low self-respect and confidence at this point, which makes me trust others way too much and that keeps getting me into trouble. Any advice? 

Take in consideration what Leo keep saying all around his videos and maybe even in the Gasligthvideos. He is not perfect and all his info is bound to review and nuance. Is clear that of you have a hint that some especial other may with proof of cause understand something or are a better expert on something more than you , then in this context take his or her opinon in high grade.

Example

A Vet knows more on dog tratament than me

A woman knows more on menstruation, feminine issues than me

You got the idea. So yes, if you feel that your grip of reality is less acurate, belief in some others. Overall a Extreme gaslighter will have a certain vibe,tone and weird intentionality towards you. Is something you catch in the air. But then if you miss the intuition to sense the difference, well, God Bless you.

[Carl-Richard]

8 hours ago, Kid A said:

In the gaslighting video, Leo says that you should stop looking to others to tell you what is real and what is true, but how do I find the confidence to do that when other people clearly seem to have a more accurate sense of reality?

It's not really that they have a more accurate sense of reality. It's that they have a different sense of reality than you, and they share this sense to some extent, which makes it seem like it's "Reality". There are probably things you are aware of which they aren't and which affect them in ways which they are not aware of. In that sense, you have a more accurate sense of reality than them. In a sense, it's like this for all people; we all have different perspectives unique to ourselves, which is one reason why you should be skeptical of other people's views, but you shouldn't completely disregard them either. You should learn from them, like you're doing now. You've so far focused on your lacks due to this new knowledge, but I'm telling you it's possible to focus on your strengths and positive sides as well.

Edited January 5 by Carl-Richard

[Yimpa]

A diagnosis is not a life sentence. In other words, they’re important, but don’t make it your entire identity.

[Raze]

Try PEERS by UCLA

[SeaMonster]

22 hours ago, Kid A said:

In the gaslighting video, Leo says that you should stop looking to others to tell you what is real and what is true, but how do I find the confidence to do that when other people clearly seem to have a more accurate sense of reality?

There are two different types of reality that we can discuss here: objective reality and subjective.

E.g. accurately predicting the course of events in the world is objective reality.

"I have value and worth and live my life accordingly" is subjective reality <-- other people's opinion doesn't matter here; this belief needs to be non-negotiable.

If you have trouble with the first, then you're human like anyone else.  This doesn't affect the second in any way -- you deal with your shortcomings the same way anyone else does: by being humble, working on improving and apologizing when you mess up.

This shouldn't affect your feeling of intrinsic self-worth (in fact, it should enhance it.)

[Kid A]

Sorry for late reply. The advice I got here was really helpful and even life-transforming. Thank you so much, everyone!

[Nivsch]

Give YOUR opinion about yourself the main weight, but also try to see others perspectives and learn from those from a more intellectual way but not take it to your heart. This is just their opinion influenced by their own psychological complexities.