Empathy Is Egoic?

[Visionary]

Been thinking about this quite a while now. Today kinda showed why.

So i started watching Rio Ferdinand's new documentary: Being Mum and Dad. The former Manchester United player lost his wife due to cancer. His wife died within 10 weeks after hearing the bad news. The documentary can be seen on Youtube. So that's exactly what I did. After a minute or 10 i've decided to scroll down to the comments. So i've seen various comments where they name a certain part of the documentary where it gets really emotional. And people comment on how their heart breaks at these moments.

What i noticed: every time one of those emotional moments neared i kinda got excited. Excited to shed some tears together with Rio. What the fuck? I know myself as a very empathic guy. I get very emotional very fast. But this kinda shocked me.

Is this the reason why certain people (mostly women) LOVE to watch drama movies and cry? Because secretly they enjoy suffering? Do we enjoy this type of suffering? Why?

Is empathic suffering an egoic trait and thus inauthentic in some kind of way?

Can anyone elaborate? Or just share your views/opinions.

Peace

 

Edited April 6, 2017 by Visionary

[Visionary]

The fact that people really comment about a certain time in the documentary where it gets emotional says a lot. And the love for drama in general.

But i was really shocked when i found this out. Can it really be masochism? wow

Edited April 6, 2017 by Visionary

[aurum]

Consciously, no one like suffering. Subconsciously, many people live for it. Which is why they get more and more of it.

This is why bringing awareness to your actions and being honest with yourself is so powerful. When you truly see through the programming, it has to fall away.

 

[WelcometoReality]

@Visionary I wouldn't go as far as to say that empathy is egoic. It's the rest of the drama attached to it that is ego based. The excitement and drama that is created to revel in the emotions.

Just watch how people exaggerate things when they tell you about something they experienced. They are creating a story and add drama to it just to make things alittle bit more interesting.

Yes people love their drama else they wouldn't put so much time and effort on it.

 

[Prabhaker]

15 hours ago, Visionary said:

certain people (mostly women) LOVE to watch drama movies and cry? Because secretly they enjoy suffering?

15 hours ago, Visionary said:

Can anyone elaborate?

The experience of empathy is very rare. Sympathy and apathy are opposed to each other. Empathy is beyond both. 

Man has forgotten about empathy completely, but he knows about sympathy. Sympathy is not something great. When somebody is in misery you sympathize; but if you look inside you will find you are feeling great because you are not in misery, somebody else is. At least in this situation you are superior. You can sympathize - you can afford it.

Apathy is your everyday experience. You pass people as if they don't exist. The servant comes in your room - you don't wave at him, you don't smile at him. You don't even take any note that somebody has come in the room. You remain exactly the same as you were before - no recognition of the other's existence. This is your everyday experience.

Sympathy once in a while - when somebody goes bankrupt, when somebody's house is burned, the whole neighborhood is sympathetic. And these are the same people who were jealous of his beautiful house. How can it be? The same people who were jealous of his beautiful house suddenly have become so sympathetic because his house is burned. It is a mask; underneath they are feeling great joy, this was the day they were waiting for. His beautiful house was continuously a torture for their heart. Now, sympathizing with the man, they are in a higher position. They are really feeling good.

So remember perfectly well, whenever you sympathize with somebody - watch the inner workings of your mind; it is not friendly. It is not out of your goodness, out of your compassion, but just the opposite. It is your hate, your jealousy, your violence - but now there is no need to show it, the man is finished on his own. Now you can have this beautiful experience and a good night's sleep by sympathizing with him. Sympathy is not a great quality. It is phony.

Empathy has almost disappeared from human beings. It is certainly the only quality that joins you with the life current within other human beings, animals, trees - with the whole existence. It is pure religiousness. But no religion teaches empathy. All religions teach is sympathy, and sympathy is not the real thing.

Empathy is relating to people through the heart. But this is possible only if the mind is silent, if there are no thoughts in the mind and it gives way, opens the door to the heart. But ordinarily you are so full of thoughts there is no way to be sensitive.

[alyra]

I have found that, my empathy is very much a projection of my bias onto others. and often I notice people claiming to understand me or act with my best interest in mind, only to completely be off the mark of what I want and who I am. 

[Visionary]

6 hours ago, Prabhaker said:

The experience of empathy is very rare. Sympathy and apathy are opposed to each other. Empathy is beyond both. 

Man has forgotten about empathy completely, but he knows about sympathy. Sympathy is not something great. When somebody is in misery you sympathize; but if you look inside you will find you are feeling great because you are not in misery, somebody else is. At least in this situation you are superior. You can sympathize - you can afford it.

Apathy is your everyday experience. You pass people as if they don't exist. The servant comes in your room - you don't wave at him, you don't smile at him. You don't even take any note that somebody has come in the room. You remain exactly the same as you were before - no recognition of the other's existence. This is your everyday experience.

Sympathy once in a while - when somebody goes bankrupt, when somebody's house is burned, the whole neighborhood is sympathetic. And these are the same people who were jealous of his beautiful house. How can it be? The same people who were jealous of his beautiful house suddenly have become so sympathetic because his house is burned. It is a mask; underneath they are feeling great joy, this was the day they were waiting for. His beautiful house was continuously a torture for their heart. Now, sympathizing with the man, they are in a higher position. They are really feeling good.

So remember perfectly well, whenever you sympathize with somebody - watch the inner workings of your mind; it is not friendly. It is not out of your goodness, out of your compassion, but just the opposite. It is your hate, your jealousy, your violence - but now there is no need to show it, the man is finished on his own. Now you can have this beautiful experience and a good night's sleep by sympathizing with him. Sympathy is not a great quality. It is phony.

Empathy has almost disappeared from human beings. It is certainly the only quality that joins you with the life current within other human beings, animals, trees - with the whole existence. It is pure religiousness. But no religion teaches empathy. All religions teach is sympathy, and sympathy is not the real thing.

Empathy is relating to people through the heart. But this is possible only if the mind is silent, if there are no thoughts in the mind and it gives way, opens the door to the heart. But ordinarily you are so full of thoughts there is no way to be sensitive.

Powerful

[alyra]

eh, it's too cynical imo  but cynicism is not bad thing. just no my preference. I do not understand what is sympathy. it is pity, right? I do not pity others and do not expect pity either. i do not find pity to be nearly as common as people like to project. and I see empathy more common that people belief it is. it is certainly a possible case that humans illusion their own perception by bias.

[jse]

On 07/04/2017 at 4:38 AM, Visionary said:

Empathy Is Egoic?

Ego is what separates us.  Empathy is that which unites us.

[Martin123]

@jse depends on how you define empathy.

There certainly is no uniting quality to the fact that I cry when you suffer.

 

I'd suggest compassion and love, to make terminology clear.

[jse]

6 hours ago, Martin123 said:

There certainly is no uniting quality to the fact that I cry when you suffer.
I'd suggest compassion and love, to make terminology clear.

I stand corrected - Love is indeed what unifies us.
Perhaps empathy is Love's mirror.

[Martin123]

@jse Empathy, in the common language as it is perceived, is the projection of our inner child onto others allowing healing. SO in essence it is love, only misunderstood, and the direction is needed inward not outward.