Becoming a Monk

[zenburnt]

I want to become a monk. I am bipolar 1 with ADHD. I have a difficult time achieving anything in my life, whenever I begin any pursuit in my life, I give up entirely when it gets challenging. I am addicted to porn, RuneScape, YouTube and social media. At my job I want to kill myself and just escape, I know this is a terrible reason to become a monk but I truly believe if I were to do a 5-year monk program, I would be able to develop the self discipline required to make real change in my life. Also it would help rid me of all the distractions in my life and help me become content with the present moment. I want to do something big with my life but I don’t know what I want to do and I’m 27 years old and feel like I’m just watching everyone else live their life. I’m looking for any advice, is becoming a monk unrealistic for a degenerate like myself? Should I try to find peace in my daily life instead of giving up a decent job? My life feels so pointless and I’m so stressed as a wage slave, I feel like life isn’t worth living like this. I’m going to do the Life Purpose Course and report back.

Edited January 2 by zenburnt

[ZenAlex]

TBH that seems like such a huge switch in such a small period of time. I'd definitely just try and resolve these things yourself and use a therapist if need be. You're in a similar situation to what I was in around your age if not a bit younger.

First of all get a porn blocker on your computer and quit porn, and get a blocker that also allows you to select which websites to block as well.

A big pointer - Find things to do outside. One of the biggest challenges in disciplining yourself away from things like porn/social media is being stuck indoors all day with the option. Spend more time outside hiking, exercising, socialising or just anything. Keep yourself busy with other things.

 

It will feel difficult at first but remind yourself why you're doing it, and accept delayed gratification. Immediately make peace with the fact that you may not feel good for a long time but it may be worth it for you. 

Sell your games consoles, downgrade smart phone if you can, you need to rid yourself of these distracting options.

[TheCloud]

@zenburnt You're being really hard on yourself for little reason.  There are millions of people starting from much lower standards than you; people who commit violence, abuse, manipulation, etc.  You watch porn and play games.  The only people who might think that's bad are the parents and teachers who raised you to "make something of yourself."  You're traumatized by the control they exercised over your life as a child, with little or no consideration for your independence.  Independence of thought is the greatest achievement a person can make, though, and freely entertaining the independent thoughts of another is the greatest gift one can offer (to someone who isn't dying of starvation or something).

[Beeflamb]

You can live like a monk without actually becoming a monk. Just made a habit of meditating everyday, not watching porn, read Buddhist texts.