Hopeless incels support group

[Emotionalmosquito]

22 hours ago, Someone here said:

You don't need a girlfriend to be happy and satisfied in life. 

Are you open to this possibility? 

I already know I CAN be okay without it, but I’ve developed too strong of a craving to let go of it. I know it’s possible because I used to be a full on heart chakra/pineal gland activated hippie before I decided I wanted to see what having girlfriends is like. Upon seeing how difficult it is to get one, I slowly but surely descended into this horrific state of mind.

22 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

If you're living alone, I'd rather you live with your mom than be thinking these thoughts. I don't care how toxic/dysfunctional that relationship is. I'd rather you give up the battle to make it on your own, admit defeat and live with your mom, than be in a state where you're so stuck that the only relief you see is to do something heinous. 

Don’t worry. I live with both parents and get along well with both. I would never under any circumstance consider lashing out in any significant way. I like not being locked up too much to do anything crazy.

22 hours ago, Jannes said:

night game can be pretty harsh

Yes it is. And that’s contrary to this idea that night game makes it easier to get away with social mistakes, which it very much does not. 

My city is pretty lame as far as social groups. There’s practically nothing for me here. But maybe I’m just not googling hard enough to find stuff.

16 hours ago, Majed said:

look buddy you're either gonna change your mindset or i recommend you get banned.

Better off here than some forum that feeds into the negativity, yeah? Additionally, I’d like to have a positive community to share my progress with if/when I ever make any.

16 hours ago, Majed said:

when was the last time you went to the club and talked to girls ?

Halloween night, there was hardly anything going on 

16 hours ago, Majed said:

even if you don't get laid, just seeing girls reacting to your approaches positively will change your mindset. 

 

14 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

With his emotional negativity and attitude atm, he will most likely just get negative reactions and hard blowouts by girls. Which leads to even worse negativity.

I’ve had plenty of seemingly positive reactions from girls, (although you can never be fully sure if a girl’s reaction is genuinely positive because they often pretend to play along because they feel pressured to) after a certain point, positive reactions alone aren’t good enough because they aren’t leading anywhere (hookups) After my very first few approaches with decent reactions I felt on top of the world having just done that, but I never feel that way anymore no matter the reaction unless I can somehow steer it all the way to the bedroom 

21 hours ago, tenfo said:

Try to work on some other things in your life like building a business,

If I could build a successful business, I’d have enough money to escape this death trap. I’m far too retarded to do such a thing. I suck major ass at literally every single project I pick up, regardless of how hard I try at it. If someone wants to give me a business model complete with step-by-step and easy to understand instructions, DM me

21 hours ago, tenfo said:

One more thing which you might or might not be open to - look into escorts, it can release some of the pressure/sexual frustration

Yes! I desperately want to start hiring escorts but I don’t know how to go about finding them. For one thing It’s illegal I’m pretty sure, big surprise 

21 hours ago, tenfo said:

I know where you coming from and I'm in a similar situation, living in a small area where meeting new people on a daily basis is not an option.

Don’t you find it interesting how so many other people (much less now than ever before but still quite a lot) end up in fulfilling relationships and going through several girlfriends by default through the natural flow of life, even though they may live in cities even smaller than ours? So then what’s so profoundly fucked up about us that we can’t have the same fortune? 

20 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are shining your light and keeping your Awareness on something that is not serving you.

I have the light focused on my burning nuclear hot, all powerful desire for unlimited pussy. That is the only thing that can save me now. If nothing else, it will reveal to me that lots of sex actually isn’t the answer so I can finally move on in life. But I’ll never be able to without tasting it first.

20 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You as God created this monstrosity of an experience for yourself.

Well if I’m god and I created this mess then I should also be able to manifest lots and lots of pussy very easily to get out of it, or is God not powerful enough to do that?

20 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's another to hold unto them by creating a space where you just jeep remembering and remembering and remembering them by making threads about them without trying to come up with solutions to the challenge.

You’ve got it backwards. They’re holding onto me. The only way to solve them is to is to obtain that of which I’ve been starved for so damn long. Nothing else is going to cut it. 

20 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are not realizing what you are doing by creating a space for this. This is how powerful you are, so much so that you have created a space within you and a container that will keep this is your psyche until you've decided to let go of this incel identity that you've kept alive with your continuous focus and attention on this type of energy. This is INSANITY and unconsciousne

I think what you’re not getting is it took me a grand total of zero effort to create this space. It happened by itself. So why can’t it be equally effortless to manifest all the romantic abundance I could ever need and want? Unless there’s actually more at play here than the individual being exclusively responsible for everything in their reality.

Maybe the reason I’m not applying the advice I’m given and I seem to not be looking for solutions is because 1) I’ve already tried most of it, and 2) I would have to get back out there and start cold approaching again to give it another shot. Maybe I’m so hesitant to do that because I’ve been traumatized by detestable fucking worms of human beings who act like I’m some terrible monster simply on account of not having impeccable social skills. Well guess what, you treat someone like a monster long enough and that’s exactly what you end up with; a walking black hole that sucks all the fun out of every room he walks into without even speaking. I was never this bad until I started trying to date.

Its not the focus on not having it that’s keeping me stuck, it’s the not having it that’s keeping me stuck. I’m not focused on not having any women, I’m laser focused on getting them at the expense of everything else. I want it so bad it feels like I’m putting cracks in the glass ceiling of how much one person can possibly desire something.

Also, don’t forget you’re God too and it sounds like you know it. So would you mind helping me out by planting more receptive women into my reality? Surely that’s not too much to ask of the all powerful One.

22 hours ago, Squeekytoy said:

Die!

YES PLEASE! Bonus points if I go Islam beforehand. That way I have those sweet 72 virgins awaiting me on the other side. 

@Princess Arabia Look I’m not even fighting you here on this “being the creator of your reality” stuff. I just need to know how to make that work for manifesting hordes of college girls and making it work quickly and painlessly. I’m not disagreeing with you, there might be some way to do that. If I’m god it must be possible. But I need to know how. 

[Thought Art]

@Emotionalmosquito You don’t need hordes of girls. Just go talk to girls everyday, or a few times a week. Start there.

Hopelessness, especially around sex is your mind tricking you. 
 

 

Edited January 2 by Thought Art

[Israfil]

Your depressive desperation must be one of the best contraceptives in the world. 

You'll not succeed with this mindset. Go to therapy and work out your trauma.

[hyruga]

You just have to go out there and meet girls. Don't be in your head. 

In my opinion, the fastest progress is when you actually have a date. Cold approach is actually not very useful until you get to the actual date. So most importantly is to ask her out for lunch/dinner. 

[Princess Arabia]

@EmotionalmosquitoI know you're not coming down on me, if anything it's vice versa - but it's coming from a place of caring and compassion even though sometimes I can express that a bit harshly. 

Go study the Universal law of Assumption from a reputable source. It really does work; in fact it's working on you now just not in your favor because you're assuming things that aren't serving you. It's very hard to change one's mindset because it's so deeply embedded in the psyche, but it has to been done to see changes in one's life. 

You don't go around making support groups of situations that aren't going right in your life. What that does is keep you entangled within that energy and keep you stuck in a loop. If one is broke and trying to get $$, it isn't wise to start a support group that keeps pointing out why you are broke and to invite other broke people to the group to muster and welp about their brokenness. If anything, it is more advisable to study wealthy people and focus on wealth than why you're broke. Same for your situation. 

The heading for this thread is a death trap. Death to the aliveness that's inside of you to potentially borne an identity of one who is loved by women, going on dates and enjoying this part of the experience that life has to offer. If I were you, I'd ask for it to be locked and start another one with maybe a heading like "hopeful men who see a promising sex-filled future" or " let's do this guys, we expect to be loved too" or "we no longer believe in the Incel concept, let's go, post your success stories" something in those lines. Not fucking HOPELESS INCELS SUPPORT GROUP. 

Why do you think alcoholics are having to keep saying they are alcoholics even though they have not had a drink in years. The reason is when they go to alcoholics anonymous, they tell them to introduce themselves as "Hi, my name is Akex, and I AM an alcoholic. Now that identity is stuck with them for the rest of their lives. Saying I AM an incel, and believing that you are that, keeps you stuck in that identity. Now, your brain's RAS system is seeking for ways to keep you in that world because that's where your focus is.

I cannot go inside of your consciousness for you and change the thoughts that are arising from it nor can I personally or actively change your belief systems. You have to do that yourself. It will take an intention first. The intent of experiencing the act of sex. Seeing it in the mind's eye. Not posting videos of guys ranting on about young girls grabbing asses and if the shoe was on the other foot, men would be chastised for that while still saying he enjoyed it. Not starting threads about hopeless incels.

I would suggest that you stop making excuses as to what you think is happening why you can't get laid. Cut out all the stories why this is not happening and start to see yourself doing it, but not from a place of I wish, I crave it or I hope. If you want to watch videos on the topic, watch people who are in relationships, who are having a good time with their partner, videos on how to attract girls or SP videos. 

Once I saw you wrote how you were repelled with people making out in public or showing affection to each other in public. Why would that energy want to be around you, if you're repelled by it. I wouldn't want to be around you either if you were repelled by me. Watch your thought, change your beliefs, start to like public displays of affection as that's the only time you'll see it in real life except for in videos or tv. Get your brain used to seeing that and loving it. 

Finally, stop rebutting every single advice to you. Stop making excuses as to why this and why that - even if you believe it to be the case because the only reason why you keep believing it is because you keep seeing, it and the reason you keep seeing it is because you believe it.

This was long because I'm not going to keep this up with you. I'm not going to keep rebutting your rebuttals. My empathetic nature will step in and this energy will start to drain me. If I see some change in your willingness to even try to get out of that loop you're in, maybe then, but I won't continue to try to help someone who keeps going on the same path that leads to nowhere. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Miguel1]

3 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

I’ve had plenty of seemingly positive reactions from girls, (although you can never be fully sure if a girl’s reaction is genuinely positive because they often pretend to play along because they feel pressured to) after a certain point, positive reactions alone aren’t good enough because they aren’t leading anywhere (hookups) After my very first few approaches with decent reactions I felt on top of the world having just done that, but I never feel that way anymore no matter the reaction unless I can somehow steer it all the way to the bedroom 

Very good. Then from there, the next step is to learn some flirting skills and you will be very far already.

Obviously if you don't flirt and make it man to woman, they will friendzone you and it won't lead anywhere.

[Israfil]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

@EmotionalmosquitoI know you're not coming down on me, if anything it's vice versa - but it's coming from a place of caring and compassion even though sometimes I can express that a bit harshly. 

Go study the Universal law of Assumption from a reputable source. It really does work; in fact it's working on you now just not in your favor because you're assuming things that aren't serving you. It's very hard to change one's mindset because it's so deeply embedded in the psyche, but it has to been done to see changes in one's life. 

You don't go around making support groups of situations that aren't going right in your life. What that does is keep you entangled within that energy and keep you stuck in a loop. If one is broke and trying to get $$, it isn't wise to start a support group that keeps pointing out why you are broke and to invite other broke people to the group to muster and welp about their brokenness. If anything, it is more advisable to study wealthy people and focus on wealth than why you're broke. Same for your situation. 

The heading for this thread is a death trap. Death to the aliveness that's inside of you to potentially borne an identity of one who is loved by women, going on dates and enjoying this part of the experience that life has to offer. If I were you, I'd ask for it to be locked and start another one with maybe a heading like "hopeful men who see a promising sex-filled future" or " let's do this guys, we expect to be loved too" or "we no longer believe in the Incel concept, let's go, post your success stories" something in those lines. Not fucking HOPELESS INCELS SUPPORT GROUP. 

Why do you think alcoholics are having to keep saying they are alcoholics even though they have not had a drink in years. The reason is when they go to alcoholics anonymous, they tell them to introduce themselves as "Hi, my name is Akex, and I AM an alcoholic. Now that identity is stuck with them for the rest of their lives. Saying I AM an incel, and believing that you are that, keeps you stuck in that identity. Now, your brain's RAS system is seeking for ways to keep you in that world because that's where your focus is.

I cannot go inside of your consciousness for you and change the thoughts that are arising from it nor can I personally or actively change your belief systems. You have to do that yourself. It will take an intention first. The intent of experiencing the act of sex. Seeing it in the mind's eye. Not posting videos of guys ranting on about young girls grabbing asses and if the shoe was on the other foot, men would be chastised for that while still saying he enjoyed it. Not starting threads about hopeless incels.

I would suggest that you stop making excuses as to what you think is happening why you can't get laid. Cut out all the stories why this is not happening and start to see yourself doing it, but not from a place of I wish, I crave it or I hope. If you want to watch videos on the topic, watch people who are in relationships, who are having a good time with their partner, videos on how to attract girls or SP videos. 

Once I saw you wrote how you were repelled with people making out in public or showing affection to each other in public. Why would that energy want to be around you, if you're repelled by it. I wouldn't want to be around you either if you were repelled by me. Watch your thought, change your beliefs, start to like public displays of affection as that's the only time you'll see it in real life except for in videos or tv. Get your brain used to seeing that and loving it. 

Finally, stop rebutting every single advice to you. Stop making excuses as to why this and why that - even if you believe it to be the case because the only reason why you keep believing it is because you keep seeing, it and the reason you keep seeing it is because you believe it.

This was long because I'm not going to keep this up with you. I'm not going to keep rebutting your rebuttals. My empathetic nature will step in and this energy will start to drain me. If I see some change in your willingness to even try to get out of that loop you're in, maybe then, but I won't continue to try to help someone who keeps going on the same path that leads to nowhere. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excellent advice.

[mr_engineer]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Don’t worry. I live with both parents and get along well with both. I would never under any circumstance consider lashing out in any significant way. I like not being locked up too much to do anything crazy.

Good. 

Now, the next step is to look into the dysfunctionalities in your home and to figure out solutions to those. 

Clearly, you've tried to take a bunch of actions in the past and it hasn't worked, which is why you're feeling hopeless. And, if you have bad results and bad conditioning, that bad conditioning will screw up your interpretations of the bad results. 

In such situations, you have to get to the root of the issue. I recommend shadow-work/inner-child work. Teal Swan has a process called 'The Completion Process' that's very helpful in such situations. 

[tenfo]

4 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

If I could build a successful business, I’d have enough money to escape this death trap. I’m far too retarded to do such a thing. I suck major ass at literally every single project I pick up, regardless of how hard I try at it. If someone wants to give me a business model complete with step-by-step and easy to understand instructions, DM me

Yes! I desperately want to start hiring escorts but I don’t know how to go about finding them. For one thing It’s illegal I’m pretty sure, big surprise 

Don’t you find it interesting how so many other people (much less now than ever before but still quite a lot) end up in fulfilling relationships and going through several girlfriends by default through the natural flow of life, even though they may live in cities even smaller than ours? So then what’s so profoundly fucked up about us that we can’t have the same fortune? 

You dont suck, but rather you quit before seeing results. Forget about step-by-step process, just make the first step - make a non-reversable decision that you are going to build a business no matter what and you will figure out your what your passion is along the way.. By making this thread you've made commitment to at least pick yourself up and make a first step, however small it will be..

Escorts are also illegal here in Croatia but I found a website with advice & reviews literally with a 2 min google search. There is a high possibility this will be true for your area as well. Most escorts I visited were so chill & openminded and I think this can help you shift your mindset in the right direction.

Don't compare yourself to others but rather embrace your "fucked up" uniqueness.. Enjoy the struggle, can you do that? Can you try to approach the girl and enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes with going out of the boring comfort zone? I'm sure you can!

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Israfil said:

Excellent advice.

Thank you. 

[Yimpa]

I never identified as an incel, but looking back at my life I definitely had the qualities of one. The good news is it’s possible to get out of that identity, but that requires years of inner work and altering the structure of your life.

 

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Yimpa said:

I never identified as an incel, but looking back at my life I definitely had the qualities of one. The good news is it’s possible to get out of that identity, but that requires years of inner work and altering the structure of your life.

 

Stop saying it takes years. You don't know that. If you say it will take years, it will take years, but no sense putting a time on something of this nature. 

[ndm678]

@Emotionalmosquito not to sound insulting, but you need to find some community activities to participate in. I live in a small village too (500 population), but that is part of a 9 small community 'web'. I go to open night music jams at churches and community centers, keroke nights, cooking classes, quilting classes, rod and gun clubs, ect. You should have some social clubs near you too, Masons, Elks, Lions, ect. Most state universities do co-op classes as well. I've traveled to the city (80 miles) to attend board game clubs, beer making clubs, toastmasters, fly tying clubs.

Old women in these clubs are a great source to polish your flirting and banter. You're not trying to pick them up, so you can have a lot of fun with it. They also have daughters, neices, ect., they want to set you up with (I've gotten dates from this).

As for the longing for sex part.. That sucks, I can relate. Go get yourself a fleshlight, don't wrap your pride up too much into it, and work on your 'lasting' stamina.

Keep your chin up and be persistent about socializing 😁🙏.

[Yimpa]

Women love it when you fully embrace their loneliness as your own.

You also need to learn how to let them go.

Edited January 3 by Yimpa

[ZenAlex]

The fact that you're comparing the grief of a mother after losing her child to a horrible accident and seeing her daughters corpse to the grief of being an incel is kind of ridiculous.

[Israfil]

36 minutes ago, Squeekytoy said:

Reality doesn't care about morals. It's just how the psyche works. If you only ever get rejected by the one thing that you think will make you whole, it is as devastating as losing a child. Both are strictly psychological and cause the exact same grief through the exact same mechanisms. You can't dismiss one without dismissing the other. If you really want to put your money where your mouth is, you will dismiss both.

Losing a child is objectively more traumatizing than being a virgin and horny. That's the normal stage every man starts as and is way simpler to overcome than the devastating and irrecuperable loss of losing your child.

Sincerely, making that comparison is a display of complete self-victimization and lack of empathy.

[MrTelepath]

On 1/2/2024 at 8:20 AM, Emotionalmosquito said:

Yes! I desperately want to start hiring escorts but I don’t know how to go about finding them. For one thing It’s illegal I’m pretty sure, big surprise 

I read everything you commented so far but I felt the need to highlight this in particular because I can very much relate to your situation, though, I’m somewhat hesitant to express myself fully here and elsewhere due to fear of criticism even though I had an experience on Mushrooms that told me to do the contrary involving expression regardless of negative critiques thrown my way.

If you’re really interested in getting with Escort Girls I can PM you a few reliable sources you can visit with a few warnings I might add. This is the only type of experience I have with women so I think I’m qualified to give tips and advice related to Escorts. I won’t share it here but if you’re still interested I can send it through PM.

[Israfil]

25 minutes ago, Squeekytoy said:

I didn't say virgin and horny, I said being a total reject of life. There is nothing objective or rational about trauma whatsoever, it is 100% between your ears.

Maybe the lack of empathy is when you can't fathom, or simply forgot, how deep this goes. Feeling starved of all love. Having everyone around you and life itself effectively tell you you're not worthy of love. Yes that's all between your ears too, but that doesn't make it any less real than losing a child.

I'm not being cavalier about this, I'm trying to make a point.

And no the point is not for OP to stay stuck in his victim mindset. But if you want him to ever come out of it, the first thing he needs is to have his pain acknowledged. You would deny him even that. No. Fuck that dead child and its mother. This guy is here now and all he wants is some fucking love.

I do empathize with him. I've had the same anxieties and fears he has. 

The feeling you are not loved does not come because everyone else denies you love, but firstly because you do not love yourself, secondly because you don't love people, and thirdly because you expect to be loved despite all that. That is exactly why you alienate others. I've seen some statements on how OP approaches people and what he desires and expects from his interactions, especially with women, and I can guarantee you that he doesn't extend his empathy to how other people feel, and what they desire. Relationships are not about yourself. They're about building something greater than those in it. The satisfaction you derive from it is directly correlated to the amount of effort you put into building it. Sex is remarkably more satisfying when you're able to surrender to and give pleasure to your partner, for example.

Reality is infinite love. The feeling of unworthiness of it comes directly from being detached from it and from, essentially, yourself. The best advice I gave to OP was to introspect and create a life devoted to his higher purpose, and I doubt he wouldn't A: feel less dissatisfied and single-mindedly focused on sex, and B: more sexually and socially apt. But doing the hard and necessary work to be properly able to relate with someone else as two living souls is way harder than listening to degrading shit about how modern women deny you your birthright sex.

I recognize the problems modern men are going through and how we as a society have to handle this alienating situation, but it is important to also recognize the power each of us has to change our life situation and handle this in a more positive direction for everyone. The future of relationships depends on the ability of people to learn how to relate with each other and share insights so we can improve those who haven't learned it yet. To do so, it is the individuals' responsibility to do their self-work. 

I talk as someone who had severe depression and anxiety with the thought of never having intimacy and life. I learned how to fix this, and how to healthily build relationships with people. I've tried many times to advise OP, but he always finds an excuse to keep commiserating and complaining about how there's no magic pill to solve his problems. You can take a horse to the water, but not make him drink it.

Edited January 3 by Israfil

[Israfil]

1 minute ago, Squeekytoy said:

@Israfil Don't expect empathy from someone in this state. If you've been in that state, you know that all you want to do is burn everything to the ground, empathy be damned. And you would be right!

Reality is infinite love, give me a break. If you'd said that to me 10 years ago I would have choked the life out of you, and still not regret it today.

All those explanations do absolutely nothing to get someone out of that state. When someone is literally dying of thirst, you don't tell them they're swimming in the ocean. You give them a fucking glass of water.

Yeah, mate, but what I'm telling you is that the OP's situation is of being thirsty in a river of alpine clear water.

The problem is that he's sewn his lips shut. There's nothing we can do to help him drink unless he unties the knots.

What I said is that his obsession and disregard for others make people go away from him. Unless he resolves his trauma and works on himself, he won't be able to properly relate with people. 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, Squeekytoy said:

That's the only relevant thing you've said.

OP needs to resolve his trauma. Period. No ifs ands or buts.

 

I think you and @Israfilare pretty much saying the same thing but your perspective on the solution is just from a different angle. His is more, I'd say, therapeutic and yours more straight to the root. What some of us do is look at the contents and not the structure and we try to deal with the issue based upon contents. A shopping addict's life can become just as disruptive as say a crack addict's, the contents are different but the structure similar. We have to understand that a lot of these so-called problems we have stem from the same root and therefore can be "fixed" by the same method. The human mind likes to prioritize one thing over another.

Edited January 3 by Princess Arabia