Newest Contemplations [Yes, it's getting shorter, don't worry]

[Keryo Koffa]

We hear words from a million sources. The self recognizes a significance deep within itself beyond the conscious, but the access remains limited, one gains access via proxies.

This is not the only conscious configuration. Yours is experienced as consciously as mine, but in my current state I am unable to access the self that splits into me and you and generates everything.

I am not all there is, I am only what I know. What I'm aware of, a local configuration of consciousness. I do not know how I generate this field of qualia and all its rules. I am not conscious enough because I divided myself into a form that forgot, to rediscover myself.

To say "I am solipsist" is the same as saying that everything has a root and that root is singular. But I is not solipsist, I is division, that without division is solipsist. Is that unitary being even conscious? There is no self to be aware of.  Reality undivided. Nothing? Everything? Infinity? Formfull, formless?

The Truth is immutable and level planed.

[Princess Arabia]

That made me laugh (the getting shorter comment). I read your whole posts anyway. For me it's quality VS quantity. 

[Keryo Koffa]

@Princess Arabia Haha, yeah my writing used to get so long, I couldn't get through it myself. I could literally have made it into encyclopedias. But my mind is quieting down, more awareness, less thinking.

I noticed a shift in my baseline consciousness today. It feels like a deeper background awareness that I'm tapping into. Like a simultaneous intuitive map that puts me at ease and contextualizes present experience. Like I'm observing my current activities as a local detail, a dent inside a vast interconnected world that I learn to know and contextualize to ever more detail and perceive simultaneously and in context. It's a sense of continuity and ability to access everything I know simultaneously.

In comparison, it feels like a had tunnel vision before, was stumbling through life, limiting myself through fear and expectations, rigid, clumsy, reactive, but most of all numb and unaware, fadingly conscious. Each psychedelic trip in the last 3 months shook me, I accessed more and more but was disoriented, yet I was integrating information at x1000 the pace after each trip, growing exponentially more aware and in tune with body and mind. Through this new awareness I got awoken into, I'm becoming exponentially more conscious by just being and integrating, presence. I let go of the notes I wrote over the years that were basically outsourcing my mind into reality by cues. I take it all back, tie it into a singular unity and split it into holons and understanding top, down. I'm aware of the influence of my breath, food, physical activity, temperature, focus of mind, ideas and desires. And I'm actively opening more up to be as relaxed as I can be at one moment and as energetic as possible in the other. But I'm macro-dosing tomorrow, hope to enter the fractal dimension and experience the non-physicality of this reality first hand.

[Keryo Koffa]

I see three important points in my adjustment.

Make as much as you can out of the present momrnt. Be yourself and do you.

Bear discomfort without ignoring or making yourself numb to it, including boredom.

Dissolve preferences and see every moment as equally beautiful, and for what it is.

[Keryo Koffa]

To make the most important point short: Let go of attachment and understand reality holisitically.