The Idea Of "Lowering My Standards"

[MrTelepath]

The whole notion of lowering my standards in order to achieve results is a little unclear to me. A friend of mine from my previous job who happens to be very experienced with women told me that at the end of the day the women are the ones that choose and I have no problem with that, of course. As a matter of fact, I'm completely for it and I've come to embrace that in every way. A few of my old work colleagues (the friend I mentioned included) "jokingly" pushed the idea of me getting with a couple of women from work. Some of them were really nice at heart but I did not find them attractive at all. I felt as though my work associates were trying to indirectly tell me "all the beautiful/pretty ones are taken. Sorry, man." And then I come across some people online supporting the same idea of "lowering your standards" but sometimes I feel like they're implying that I should get with someone I don't find attractive at all because there is no other option.

It's not that I wouldn't get with a woman who is low on looks. For what it's worth, one of the escort girls I slept with wasn't all that attractive but I had an okay time with her. That said, I don't want to be an asshole and hurt a girl who is struggling with her appearance but sometimes I can't bring myself to be with someone like that. And I'm a bit ashamed of that, truth be told. I guess what's really bothersome is that I feel like I have absolutely no say in the matter and everyone wants me to end up with someone whom I'm not attracted to. But let's say, I did end up with someone I don't find attractive and she were to ask me if I think she's pretty I wouldn't know what to say. And like I said, I don't want to be a dick and hurt her because the fact that she's asking me for my opinion indicates that she cares about what I think. I'd probably be lying to her and to myself. 

A few days ago, I came across a quote by Bob Marley about loving a girl. I got a little emotional because of the message I received from it. The insight I received was my capacity for love and not putting so much emphasis on appearance but I'd like to be with a girl who I find at least somewhat attractive sometimes.

I'd like to know what people think about this. I feel like I'm overcomplicating things here.

[Devin]

Her as a person needs to be attractive to you, personality has a large part in attractiveness, and your standards for a partner should not be compromised , if you can compromise on them they're not really your standards.