My position on family values

[trenton]

I don't see my family members as more important than random strangers. This might be the reason that I don't feel much of any emotional bond them. The same logic applies to romance and children. I don't see any child or girlfriend I have as more important than strangers. Things like romance and family therefore hold very little meaning to me.

I think that human values are better then family values. It is a broader circle of concern which treats all humans as equally important. Similarly, animal values might be better than human values because it is a circle of concern that accounts for all living beings including aliens. Presently I do not see inanimate objects as something that should be valued as much as living beings. It is because living beings can suffer and feel pain that I think they matter more than objects even though I am imagining that living beings have value.

I prefer to leave an impact on all kinds of people rather than dedicating my focus to building relationships that might fall apart anyway. Some of this attitude might be due to autism. I struggle to relate to people anyway and that makes it harder to form emotional connections.

Is it weird that I value my impact on humanity more than I value relationships like in family and romance? Is my logic hurting me in some way? Who would I be if I let go of this position?

I don't know if trauma has anything to do with my anti and my struggle to feel an emotional connection.

[SeaMonster]

Sure, you might have trauma and hate your parents or something.

If there aren't close emotional connections with family you could compensate via universal philosophies.

[Yimpa]

This episode may sled some light

 

[trenton]

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

Sure, you might have trauma and hate your parents or something.

If there aren't close emotional connections with family you could compensate via universal philosophies.

My parents were very dysfunctional. I used to believe that one day my mom and dad could get back together. After becoming disillusioned with this I started feeling hollow and uncaring. Mom and dad were never going get back together because dad was a drug dealing gangster who owed hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support as he used me as pawn against my mother.

Maybe in an alternative universe in which my mom and dad loved each other I would have mimicked them by loving my family more. Instead I am mimicking my parents by embodiment of their lack of love. On the inside part of me feels like screaming "I don't give a fuck" or " I don't care. " "I don't give a shit about my family."

 the only person in my family I felt a strong connection to was my grandpa. I was ashamed of myself for taking his love for granted as child. I never had a chance to realize how much he meant to me. He had a lot of faith in me hoping that I would be different from his son. He wanted me to change the fate of the family. I managed to do this, but in the end it all felt empty to me. My grandpa believed in family values, but I have seen it to be a pragmatic lie which holds no basis in reality.

I never talked to a therapist about why relationships feel empty to me. I am more concerned about finding a good career. Discovering my life purpose to leave an impact on humanity is part of my universal philosophy.

[trenton]

@Yimpa I saw that episode. I felt that way even before watching it. Why would someone be more valuable just because of genetic similarity? If you question reproduction deeply enough, the illusion falls apart.

[teraflu]

Have you tried completely cut out family members from your life. If so, did you feel missing them in your life, wanted to get them back? What mutual value you have with your family members? Would you survive financialy, psychologically without them?

Is it the case that if something bad in your life happens that family is the first people who would be here to help you in this still physical 3D world?

I think it is important to measure what 3D value is there from the family. Do they take a lot of your time to care about them? Maybe it is possible to limit interaction time to minimum to still fulfill the need of belonging if you had a close connection with family members throughout the most of your life. Or gradually fade away from them so it would not be painful to cut them all off at once. Show the boundaries that you are willing to maintain with them and do not let them cross it, They are still big part of life, their energies play the big role for us and we have to learn deal with it. Also when we change our opinion and energies directed to them, they change. Also possible to keep them at the heart and just remember them with love from time to time whilst living completely separate life. It is important to find one or few people who can be family for you since it is important to belong.

I personally experimented a lot playing different roles with this family, including leaving them and in the end said sorry and came back to sustain minimal, but honest relation.