Should I write a Book or Let It Go | What do I do with my life?

[Keryo Koffa]

I've been obsessed about making sense of reality for the longest time. Constant contemplation, I can just keep going indefinitely, generating thousands of words, directions, pointers, concepts a minute. But I'm ever more aware of the relativity of it all, infinite insights through infinite perspectives, they will never end. I quit my dead end job, it's mechanical repetitive nature was a waste of lifetime. I saved up enough to get by a year. Any direction I explore appears useless. Psychedelics saved my life by giving me the consciousness back that I deluded myself out of. The world runs on luxury, there's little point in perpetuating it. I'd like to work with psychedelics, after all, what more is there to reality than exploring it in every imaginable way? But psychedelic research feels useless, we already have them, it's just public perception that needs alignment. Neuroscience is cool, but it's really just conceptualizing a map whose territory is already available to us. Philosophy isn't something I see as a job, just as part of conscious sense making. There are many professions, but they do not interest me for long. It feels like I'm looking for a distraction, feeding the ego-game of needing to bind myself to something to perpetuate survival. But in the free time I have for myself now, I want to find out what the best thing to do is. How I can live the happiest and where to go. I could join a hippie commune, I could be homeless, I could try a start-up, but for what? I could write a book about the endless notes I'm in the process of deleting. It's all conceptual baggage but it's also a map of reality.

Any tips from someone who integrates ego-death with presence and navigating the real world healthily?

[Yimpa]

As I’ve said before:

 

[Davino]

Warning: Take care of your survival, no matter how awake you are; your body needs to perform certain activities, which need to be done without omission.

 

Having said this, write a book if you feel like it. I know a close friend which is doing it and has found great meaning in such a pursuit. Also don't worry about the pointlessness of writting a Magnus Opus about Reality. It came to my mind Saint Thomas Aquinas which one day after a mystical experience (awakening) abruptly stopped all writting. When someone asked why such a change in his behaviour he answered:

Quote

After what the Lord deigned to reveal to me on Saint Nicholas' day, everything I have written seems like straw to me, and therefore, I can no longer write anything more.

So whatever, do what you want and enjoy this year my friend, be a leaf dancing in the wind of God

Edited December 29, 2023 by Davino

[Keryo Koffa]

@Yimpa C'mon, my externalized proxy and alter-ego, my ego-mind was really hoping to latch onto some concepts from the persona that you are to it and that it makes itself believe that it is too lazy to come up with itself, regardless of the fact that this very resistance is more tenuous than actually doing it. But now you disappointed its expectations through a higher consciousness response intended for self-inquiry, which is the last thing it wants to do, but it will and realize it's higher self in the process of doing and thank you for it later, despite always having had the means of doing it itself, and instead searching it in it's memory through physical cues from "others".

[Keryo Koffa]

@Davino Thank you. To externalize my thoughts would make it easier to let go of them, I am continuously changing, using ever less words, but can always deconstruct them to an infinite length. I do take pleasure in these insights and a book would be simultaneously share them, memorialize them, and make some income on the way.

I really just have to start exploring life and reality outside of the conceptual proliferation I was locked in all my life. I'm ever more aware of my body's needs and the layers of my mental delusion. I will do the best I can.

[Yimpa]

Life will never always go the way you want it to. God is in control, baby.

[Keryo Koffa]

@Yimpa I know what I want. I hide it from myself because I'm attached to unattachment. But it's simple and I can keep doing it indefinitely. Indefinitely from my current perspective, truly until I don't feel like it anymore, but there's so much energy. I'm running away from the energy, I'm running away from myself. The light is blinding. I love it. Why am I so obnoxiously smart in stupidity?

[Yimpa]

8 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I know what I want. I hide it from myself because I'm attached to unattachment. But it's simple and I can keep doing it indefinitely. Indefinitely from my current perspective, truly until I don't feel like it anymore, but there's so much energy. I'm running away from the energy, I'm running away from myself. The light is blinding. I love it. Why am I so obnoxiously smart in stupidity?