2 Tabs Of Acid Made Me A Little Bit Psychotic

[SQAAD]

For the past half-decade, I've been using psychedelics, primarily mushrooms, in moderation. Recently, I've secured a reliable source for LSD, which quickly became my preferred substance after two extraordinary trips.

Maintaining a stable and quiet mind without any mental health issues, I rarely encounter problems in my sober state. However, my decision to trip again 10 days ago led to an unexpected experience. Despite having no tolerance, taking one tab of acid didn't produce the profound effects I anticipated after 1.5 hours. I suspected the less-than-ideal environment, given my living situation, might have played a role.

Disappointed by the lack of depth in the trip and realizing it wouldn't peak, I opted to take a second tab in pursuit of the mystical experience I craved

After the 2nd tab, my experience got more intense and a lot more desirable.

The intensified trip led to a surreal moment while watching Eckhart Tolle. I suddenly realized that my human experience, including listening to Tolle, was a self-created fiction—an illusion. This realization shook me profoundly, and the desire to revert to the comforting illusion of reality became overwhelming.

This shook me to my core like never before.... And it felt terrible when i had this realization. I just wanted my illusion of Reality back.

I quickly started appreciating why Reality is constructed the way it is. If you fully understood the illusion of Reality, you may end up very depressed. There is a very good reason why God is fooling ''itself''.

After this realization, i didn't want to go any deeper. I felt that if i went any deeper , it wouldn't be any good for me...

Afterwards, I found myself behaving in a rather foolish & ''crazy'' manner. I came close to causing damage to my laptop as I impulsively threw it onto the floor. Additionally, I vocalized my frustration loudly, directing some of my expressions towards the atheist scientist Robert Sapolsky. I began calling him an idiot out loud over and over again.

I do not understand why i acted this way. I have never acted this way before. This experience just shows me that if you take too much of a substance you will act in ways that are not easily explained afterwards.

I have heard multiple experiences from people with good mental health, who have tripped hard and done some weird and stupid sh*t...

I don't know how to make sense of this. I guess if you take too high of a dose, you end becoming delusional or something....

 

Edited December 25, 2023 by SQAAD

[Thought Art]

Interesting, rest up and ground yourself 

[Yimpa]

36 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

After this realization, i didn't want to go any deeper. I felt that if i went any deeper , it wouldn't be any good for me...

Of course… going deep with your trips’ll likely reveal aspects of yourself that you’ve yet to explore.

Life presents exactly what you need in each moment. How you unwrap and use each gift is up to you. 

[Schizophonia]

LSD is stimulating.
Catecholamine agonism makes you as high as you can get from cannabis or alcohol, much more so than from mushrooms, DMT or any similar psychedelic.

[Godhead]

2 hours ago, SQAAD said:

I suddenly realized that my human experience, including listening to Tolle, was a self-created fiction—an illusion. This realization shook me profoundly, and the desire to revert to the comforting illusion of reality became overwhelming

 

[Osaid]

2 hours ago, SQAAD said:

There is a very good reason why God is fooling ''itself''.

There's a very good reason why your ego is fooling itself* (From your ego's perspective, at least)

Always interesting when people assign divinity to their ego being fooled by reality.

2 hours ago, SQAAD said:

I guess if you take too high of a dose, you end becoming delusional or something....

Yeah there's quite a bit of that on the forum.

Edited December 25, 2023 by Osaid

[SQAAD]

@Schizophonia

12 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

LSD is stimulating.
Catecholamine agonism makes you as high as you can get from cannabis or alcohol, much more so than from mushrooms, DMT or any similar psychedelic.

Yes, this seems very true from my experience.. If you take too much LSD, you end up becoming like a drunk person....  The 2 tabs were so much, that at some point, i was finding it impossible to tie my shoes...

[SQAAD]

@Osaid

11 hours ago, Osaid said:

There's a very good reason why your ego is fooling itself* (From your ego's perspective, at least)

Always interesting when people assign divinity to their ego being fooled by reality.

 

Who created the ego? God.

Ego is a creation of God/Divinity. This is why i say that God is fooling itself.

Edited December 26, 2023 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Godhead

11 hours ago, Godhead said:

 

No. But this time, this realization felt a lot more serious and total than all previous realizations.

Also it shook me because.. i got a taste of Solipsism. 

It felt like there is no separate entity called Eckhart Tolle... It felt like i was just imagining a separate entity called Eckhart Tolle to keep me asleep and entertained....

Then i understood why the illusion of Reality is so comforting and why many people wouldn't appreciate their illusion getting demolished...

[SQAAD]

@Thought Art

13 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Interesting, rest up and ground yourself 

Thank you.

[Osaid]

25 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

Who created the ego?

A creator of ego would simply be more ego, because the ego is a false perception. If you think the ego actually exists, that is mistaking the map for the territory. Your logic is flawed because it uses a false perception as its basis.

There are many words and symbols which point to things that don't exist, such as "non-existence", "false", "incorrect", "impossible", "duality", etc. The word "ego" would fit perfectly into that category. 

26 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

Ego is a creation of God/Divinity.

Everything is a creation of God/Divinity, therefore by your logic everything is fooling itself. You have created a tautology which means nothing, other than to say "God = God" or "everything = deception." 

You are trying to understand God through some logical deduction, like "If x created y, then y = z." That won't work. You will just run into arbitrary tautologies ad infinitum because reality and intellect do not mix. It is like trying to divide by zero.

[SQAAD]

@Osaid

1 hour ago, Osaid said:

Everything is a creation of God/Divinity, therefore by your logic everything is fooling itself. You have created a tautology which means nothing, other than to say "God = God" or "everything = deception." 

Yes God is deceiving itself. Not everything is fooling itself though, otherwise Awakening wouldn't exist.

1 hour ago, Osaid said:

There are many words and symbols which point to things that don't exist, such as "non-existence", "false", "incorrect", "impossible", "duality", etc. The word "ego" would fit perfectly into that category. 

''Impossible'' points to something which exists though. It's ''impossible'' for me to fly like a bird does.

1 hour ago, Osaid said:

A creator of ego would simply be more ego, because the ego is a false perception. If you think the ego actually exists, that is mistaking the map for the territory. Your logic is flawed because it uses a false perception as its basis.

I use direct experience as my basis. Ego exists as a collections of thoughts/feelings and a sense of individuality. This sense of individuality clearly exists.

[Jowblob]

21 hours ago, SQAAD said:

For the past half-decade, I've been using psychedelics, primarily mushrooms, in moderation. Recently, I've secured a reliable source for LSD, which quickly became my preferred substance after two extraordinary trips.

Maintaining a stable and quiet mind without any mental health issues, I rarely encounter problems in my sober state. However, my decision to trip again 10 days ago led to an unexpected experience. Despite having no tolerance, taking one tab of acid didn't produce the profound effects I anticipated after 1.5 hours. I suspected the less-than-ideal environment, given my living situation, might have played a role.

Disappointed by the lack of depth in the trip and realizing it wouldn't peak, I opted to take a second tab in pursuit of the mystical experience I craved

After the 2nd tab, my experience got more intense and a lot more desirable.

The intensified trip led to a surreal moment while watching Eckhart Tolle. I suddenly realized that my human experience, including listening to Tolle, was a self-created fiction—an illusion. This realization shook me profoundly, and the desire to revert to the comforting illusion of reality became overwhelming.

This shook me to my core like never before.... And it felt terrible when i had this realization. I just wanted my illusion of Reality back.

I quickly started appreciating why Reality is constructed the way it is. If you fully understood the illusion of Reality, you may end up very depressed. There is a very good reason why God is fooling ''itself''.

After this realization, i didn't want to go any deeper. I felt that if i went any deeper , it wouldn't be any good for me...

Afterwards, I found myself behaving in a rather foolish & ''crazy'' manner. I came close to causing damage to my laptop as I impulsively threw it onto the floor. Additionally, I vocalized my frustration loudly, directing some of my expressions towards the atheist scientist Robert Sapolsky. I began calling him an idiot out loud over and over again.

I do not understand why i acted this way. I have never acted this way before. This experience just shows me that if you take too much of a substance you will act in ways that are not easily explained afterwards.

I have heard multiple experiences from people with good mental health, who have tripped hard and done some weird and stupid sh*t...

I don't know how to make sense of this. I guess if you take too high of a dose, you end becoming delusional or something....

 

That's truth, "you" yourself choose when to awaken, so the past messages/articles or perhaps an article that you are currently reading can lead you even deeper into god realization, when it leads you deeper to god realization the scarier it becomes because you don't want to lose your illussion but want to enjoy it. God realization as many guru's/people have said, is simply 100% surrender, and it's always your descision. I've stopped my own heart to know the truth. The ego isn't much different from god, since god is you. The only difference is basically that the "ego" holds unto the illussion and body you're currently in and that's pretty much it. God is like nothingness, it doesn't have memory but creates on the go.

The balance of life between you and others in your ego body is created by you unconsciously, why is this happening you might ask? It's because deep inside (the god part) in you, knows that there's nothing else besides "you"/nothingness. So you're doing it unconsciously, you think god knows what it is or how it came to existence? Ofcourse not, the illussion is your comfort zone that you have to go in as a remedy from time to time.

[kenway]

On 25/12/2023 at 8:39 PM, SQAAD said:

Additionally, I vocalized my frustration loudly, directing some of my expressions towards the atheist scientist Robert Sapolsky. I began calling him an idiot out loud over and over again.

lol

[Osaid]

10 hours ago, SQAAD said:

''Impossible'' points to something which exists though.

No. It is purely intellectual and does not exist.

10 hours ago, SQAAD said:

I use direct experience as my basis.

Your entire life is based on direct experience. Now think back to all the times you've deluded yourself. Be careful!

[Breakingthewall]

14 hours ago, SQAAD said:

Also it shook me because.. i got a taste of Solipsism. 

Solipsism is a false realization because it is limited. The first time I had that realization it was horrible. I thought that reality was an eternal prison where I was locked up with no escape, alone, imagining reality to escape that cosmic horror beyond any hell or torture. I am surprised to have endured an experience like this without losing mental stability. my goal since then was to return there again and again. It's like if a bully intimidates you, you have to come back again and again until he doesn't intimidate you or you will never be free. then once infinity opened. You are not alone, you are not what you think, you are not you, you is a limited appearance, what you are is unlimited, full of life, incredibly perfect, beyond any wild dream of freedom. It is exactly what you always wanted, totality, perfection, freedom. Your joy will be total, perfect, without the slightest stain, because there are no limits

Edited December 27, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Javfly33]

There´s a moment when psychedelics make sense because they can reveal certain blocks of your mind, and they can open certain dimensions beyond the mind.

But...is clear that there is also when people go way beyond that and from that moment no more interesting openings, just mental hallucinations, of God, of Solipsism, of Understanding, in summary, of more entanglement. 

Instead of going towards Liberation and Clarity, more twisting yourself in the mind. That´s the moment when you have to see you are going nowhere, and stop doing this. 

We all been there, the faster you see it the less energy and time you will loose in this realms. They won´t get you anywhere Real.