If you're a guy, try to unload before going out with a lady!

[Mesopotamian]

As time passes by, I discovered that guys, including me are inherently horny, and the only way I was feeling less horny is when I was in a relationships few years back.

However, I found it really useful if I unload before going out with a lady, and it truly can get my horniness in check.

It's a bad idea that you go out with a lady without doing so, cuz your mind can be fogged and you won't be able to build an authentic connection with her, and you'll always in the back of your mind think like what a wonderful thought if I could just have fun with her and hoping that it would happen magically.

In this day and age, truly smart, authentic men are rare, and most of the girls even if they don't know it, they're looking for one, and you need to try to be that one. Getting sex needs to build a bond first, a connection that can last, so that when it happens, it's not because somebody is having a low-quality urge that can't keep in check, but rather as a natural progression.

 

[Schizophonia]

Sexual energy is the basis of all atavistic desires, it's not like emptying your testicles is going to make you more intellectual, spiritual or whatever. Well, for me in any case, it’s the opposite. 👍

[lostingenosmaze]

Just say cum dude, someone here talked about getting his ass licked before getting fucked by a dildo, I'm sure it's okay to say cum, you're just muddying the waters being this vague 

[numbersinarow]

"cuz your mind can be fogged and you won't be able to build an authentic connection with her," If you want to build an authentic connection, getting into the head-space of an asexual instead of your normal self seems interesting.

"because somebody is having a low-quality urge" There is no objective metric to decide that, remove societal conditioning from your reasoning process (or at least give that idea a test-run).

[Princess Arabia]

9 hours ago, Mesopotamian said:

In this day and age, truly smart, authentic men are rare, and most of the girls even if they don't know it, they're looking for one, and you need to try to be that one. Getting sex needs to build a bond first, a connection that can last, so that when it happens, it's not because somebody is having a low-quality urge that can't keep in check, but rather as a natural progression

The irony of this is that having to unload before a date to seem smart and authentic is not going to make you automatically smart and authentic. That's just buying you time till you get horny again. 

Building a bond and connection with a partner is a great thing to do inspite of sex not a means to get sex.

Own up to your horniness. Embrace your high sex drive, but don't make excuses for it or try to push it away with temporary methods and practices. The trick here is to be able to feel it while you're on a date without needing to exercise it or doing something about it then and there. It's called self-control. Your whole post is wreaking of how to manipulate your way into getting sex. Not trying to enjoy whomever you're with and really enjoying their company. It looks like you're saying the opposite and your arguments seem pure and they sound good to the naked ear, but if one really tune in to what the intention is and reading between the lines, it becomes obvious you're trying hard to not just care about sex but the one you're sexing. Like it's something you're working on. Nothing wrong with that.

One should also try to be authentic and smart and confident and whatever other positive traits not just for the sake of impressing a partner but for the sake of doing these things for yourself to improve your life on a whole.

Edited December 25, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Mesopotamian]

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Own up to your horniness. Embrace your high sex drive, but don't make excuses for it or try to push it away with temporary methods and practices. The trick here is to be able to feel it while you're on a date without needing to exercise it or doing something about it then and there. It's called self-control.

You kinda need to start to consider that the physical aspect for men could be something beyond their control sometimes.

I do unload pretty regularly most of the time, and if I go on a date without that, and just walk with a lovely cute lady, I could have an erection that's really difficult to control!

There's no on-off switch and the lightest thought of any possibility with that lady in the future might trigger that.

And what if the girl was a bit liberal and decided to show up with a revealing dress that shows her boobs for example?

However the simple act of what I've suggested would take care of that issue for you! and spare you what otherwise seems like torture!

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

One should also try to be authentic and smart and confident and whatever other positive traits not just for the sake of impressing a partner but for the sake of doing these things for yourself to improve your life on a whole.

of course it's not for that purpose which is impressing others, but just to have fun when you get the sex out of the way!

Matter of fact, I won't be getting sex until the lady decides that I am safe enough and suitable for that.. isn't that right?

[Mesopotamian]

10 hours ago, lostingenosmaze said:

Just say cum dude, someone here talked about getting his ass licked before getting fucked by a dildo, I'm sure it's okay to say cum, you're just muddying the waters being this vague 

I can feel that it sounds weird for you but what's the harm in elevating your vocabulary?

[Mesopotamian]

10 hours ago, numbersinarow said:

There is no objective metric to decide that, remove societal conditioning from your reasoning process (or at least give that idea a test-run).

I mean, I've been doing so for most of my life! and it basically got me nowhere. Sex need a lady to feel safe with you, and to be able to be vulnerable. And you coming as horny, is it going to help you you think?

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

You kinda need to start to consider that the physical aspect for men could be something beyond their control sometimes.

I'm not a guy and a male could respond to this better than I can but I'm still interacting with the male species and I do walk around in society where I don't see every other guy, even the majority, or any for that matter (maybe one or two in my whole lifetime) walking around with an out-of-control erection just by being in public with an attractive female.

[Princess Arabia]

13 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

I do unload pretty regularly most of the time, and if I go on a date without that, and just walk with a lovely cute lady, I could have an erection that's really difficult to control!

There's no on-off switch and the lightest thought of any possibility with that lady in the future might trigger that.

And what if the girl was a bit liberal and decided to show up with a revealing dress that shows her boobs for example?

However the simple act of what I've suggested would take care of that issue for you! and spare you what otherwise seems like torture!

Are you only speaking from what you think might happen, or is this a constant reoccurrence? This seems a bit problematic if you can't just walk around without an erection. A woman showing cleavage is very common. If that's all it takes, then you might have a problem. You're not even speaking of going to a strip club or even a nude beach or something like that, but just walking around. 

[Princess Arabia]

16 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

And you coming as horny, is it going to help you you think?

It's not about you being horny but more about how you conduct yourself while having those horny feelings. A woman is not going to say to herself this dude is horny so I'm not going to have sex with him. 

[Mesopotamian]

@Princess Arabia

From my own experience, I can assure you almost everyone is struggling although I haven't been in everyone's shoes.

And you also need to consider that it depends on the situation, like that girl that approached me last time, it was night and dark, and we were isolated me and her, so yeah, my little buddy went nuts for a while when walking with her, and were uncontrollable thoughts all over my mind like "am I going to end up with her tonight? "

Being called a creep by others actually is when a guy decides to act on those thoughts and to try his luck and it is almost always end up with rejection and a hard no.

Have you ever judged people as creeps before? perhaps you know someone who did?

 

[mmKay]

Works for some if you're feeling nervous and needy

Some other people may even loose the desire to go for the date

Everyone's libido is different 

[StarStruck]

On 24-12-2023 at 7:53 PM, Schizophonia said:

Sexual energy is the basis of all atavistic desires, it's not like emptying your testicles is going to make you more intellectual, spiritual or whatever. Well, for me in any case, it’s the opposite. 👍

I second this. If you can't keep a nut in, that is a problem. It is not the nut that is the problem.

[Mesopotamian]

9 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I second this. If you can't keep a nut in, that is a problem. It is not the nut that is the problem.

Good luck trying to battle with the force of life then! having high ego thinking you're going to win.

[StarStruck]

59 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

Good luck trying to battle with the force of life then! having high ego thinking you're going to win.

Battling with nature is the last thing you should do. Learn to surf on it. It requires skill. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Mesopotamian said:

Good luck trying to battle with the force of life then! having high ego thinking you're going to win.

What do you think addictions are, but plenty of people still try their best to not let it overpower them or get too out of hand.

What you are describing is not normal. If that was the case, you would see plenty of men just walking around society trying to hide their erections. I'm a working girl and even men who know they're about to get some form of sexual gratification, still need some form of direct stimulation before getting hard. 

You're calling it force of life. Some women squirt. Do you see women squirting all over the place, and don't say men are more visual please because that's besides the point I'm making. If you can't contain an erection just from walking in public with an attractive woman who shows her cleavage, that's not normal, bottomline. Why don't you try going to a section in town maybe at the beach or where very scantily women and men are and lol around if you see most men there trying to control an erection. I haven't.

[Mesopotamian]

11 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Battling with nature is the last thing you should do. Learn to surf on it. It requires skill. 

that's totally nonsense.. 

[Mesopotamian]

11 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

What you are describing is not normal. If that was the case, you would see plenty of men just walking around society trying to hide their erections. I'm a working girl and even men who know they're about to get some form of sexual gratification, still need some form of direct stimulation before getting hard. 

I am getting real results, and amazing encounters with ladies.. 

I feel you're not in a position to judge how men can feel sometimes though. 

Also it doesn't serve you that a guy gets empowered, cuz you think that you as a woman should be on top of the pyramid of power probably. Therefore you'll try to battle this simple hack or concept and demonize it, totally acting as closed minded is what I understand. 

 

And yeah, it needs a great deal of openmindedness for a guy to even try this simple life hack! 

11 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

If you can't contain an erection just from walking in public with an attractive woman who shows her cleavage, that's not normal

says who? somebody who hasn't been in a guy's body before... 

[StarStruck]

15 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

that's totally nonsense.. 

Nah, you just don't get it which is ok.