my 5-minute cold shower protocol

[gettoefl]

1. turn on water and dip head under while massaging scalp to keep the head warm
2. take 2 steps back so no water splashes on body
3. pick up shampoo/shower gel with left hand, pour contents onto right hand
4. lift right hand to head and scrub back of head with content
5. use now soapy hand to wash ones backside then rinse hand under the cold water
6. pour more content onto right hand
7. lift right hand to head and scrub front of head with content
8. use now soapy hand to wash one's front privates then rinse hand under the cold water
9. put shampoo/shower gel down
10. 2 steps forward, poke head under water 6-10 times and each time pull head back to let soap run over entire body (no need to stand directly under the water just let soap drip all over)
11. use left now soapy hand to wash right underarms and right side of face
12. use right now soapy hand to wash left underarms and left side of face
13. poke head under water 2 more times to ensure all soap is removed
14. push arms against chest to stay warm and move under the cold stream of water and rub off all soap from the body
15. one step back, hold onto side with left hand, lift up right foot under the cold water and rub off the soap
16. hold onto side with right hand, lift up left foot under the cold water and rub off the soap
17. turn off water and dry off

happy solstice and happy showering everyone!

[Princess Arabia]

I think you've been doing too much psychedelics lately..lol.

[Rigel]

I want instructions on how to take a shit and wipe my ass next!