Derealization | "The Fear of Knowing"

[Keryo Koffa]

Ever since my 7th psychedelic trip, an old fear came back into my consciousness.

When I was a kid, I used to play lots of video games, I had a feeling of unease about out of bounds areas.

I also avoided map-editors and mods for a while, they could be chaotic, unfitting, dissolving all immersion.

I used to be upset if a movie sequel was a let down because I had to treat it as canon.

I used to obsessively follow rules, even toxic ones, there was an absolutism to it.

In my teens, I constantly shifted perspectives and slowly allowed myself to see case by case.

Psychedelics dissolved that and many other obsessions within me, but I'm going ever deeper.

Lately, every now and then, some people seem ever more like a repetetive pattern of dogma without conscious awareness.

And I remember me avoiding learning many things as a kid because it would break the magic and "feel mundane"

But the lack of being myself and exploring reality let me to exactly that stagnation.

Now that I'm after the truth, I have to accept whatever I see. For a while reality seemed more organic and interconnected, but that view switches with a mechanical predictable unconscious reality.

It was what almost made me stop psychedelics. But it's something I had to break through so I let go and it was and still is beautiful, but this sense keeps popping up.

Edited December 18, 2023 by Keryo Koffa

[Yimpa]

4 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Now that I'm after the truth, I have to accept whatever I see.

Accepting from blind faith is a mistake. You no longer avoid what you cannot accept; You see it for what is really is.

[Keryo Koffa]

3 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Accepting from blind faith is a mistake. You no longer avoid what you cannot accept; You see it for what is really is.

I accept the lenses that my intuition feeds me and include them in my understanding of reality, trying to unite them with all other perception, intuition and experience I've gathered. 

[Rafael Thundercat]

I understood the title as De-rail-alization. 

The act of stoping a Topic from Derailing. 

Hihii

[Keryo Koffa]

3 minutes ago, Rafael Thundercat said:

I understood the title as De-rail-alization. 

The act of stoping a Topic from Derailing. 

Hihii

That would be a useful thing to learn tho, heh

[Yimpa]

18 hours ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I accept the lenses that my intuition feeds me and include them in my understanding of reality, trying to unite them with all other perception, intuition and experience I've gathered. 

And you can also transcend your intuition and expand the intuition