Stuck on: A need to see others acknowledge others pain, fear, and suffering.

[BlueOak]

I'm severely stuck in my spiritual/personal development. This is either the crux or a good part of it.

I cannot get past my need for people to acknowledge others' pain, fear, and suffering. Usually between two third parties external to my own identity (which I acknowledge is also me)

Thoughts? Solutions? Opposites for healing?

Seeing the pattern though clearly obviously helps.

Edited December 17, 2023 by BlueOak

[BlueOak]

The opposite of this is brutal but possibly balancing. If you can imagine the opposite.

The career of this is counseling between families or marriages for example, perhaps healthcare. Though this indulges the behavior, it is the same as how some people utilize their own trauma or bias to their advantage. I don't think it'd cure me of it, only through repetition lessen the need for it more quickly.

I can understand why someone might think this is not harmful behavior, but anything to an extreme or any behavior that is invasion and overriding of others is usually harmful. Also any 'need' or expectation from others towards themselves or a third party is just not realistic or very helpful.
 

Edited December 18, 2023 by BlueOak

[gettoefl]

so person a makes person b suffer and you would like person a to acknowledge the suffering they have caused

truth is, you don't make another suffer

they choose suffering as the reaction to how you acted

if i insult you, you can feel grievance and pledge retaliation

or you can feel pity that i am one more example of how hurt people look to hurt people

everything that happens to me is impersonal arbitrary necessary efficacious unstoppable

we need to stop feeling special and let everything happen to our and the world's best interests

[gettoefl]

in other words dont seek a confession of guilt

their journey is their journey, if they want to change, be glad and accept that, if they don't so be it too

your job is to let go and realize what happened wasn't bad but actually helped you out considerably

Edited December 18, 2023 by gettoefl